


Fast Times At Heaven Hills High

by NikkiNoir



Series: Fast Times [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Destiel - Freeform, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Fluff, High School AU, M/M, eventual major character injury, part one of a two part series, trigger: homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-26
Updated: 2014-12-30
Packaged: 2018-01-17 01:32:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 54,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1369000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NikkiNoir/pseuds/NikkiNoir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>September, 1975. Castiel and his brother, Gabriel, are the new kids in school, going into their senior year of high school. Cas is kind of a shy recluse, always absorbed in studying, rather than having any kind of social life. He never had a friend, since his family moved around a lot, but on his first day at Heaven Hills High, he meets Dean Winchester, a snarky jock with a smile that could charm a rabid wolf. And that's when things get interesting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The New Kids On The Block

**Author's Note:**

> I thought I'd try my hand at writing an AU. So here goes nothing.

**September 1, 1975**

It was dawn when the obnoxious trilling bells of Castiel's alarm clock echoed through his bedroom, rudely coaxing him from his slumber. He blinked, groggy from the lack of sleep the previous night, as he kicked his blankets off the bed before shutting off the shrill ringing of the alarm clock. Carding his hand through his disheveled, brown hair, he yawned, making his way out of his room, toward the bathroom, in hopes that a nice, hot shower would perk him up.

As Castiel opened his door, he heard the shower turn on. He wasn't totally surprised; his older brother, Gabriel, always set his alarm ten minutes earlier than Castiel's because he knew it was a mild irritant to get first shower. 

Sighing, and somewhat annoyed, Castiel decided that a cup of coffee would have to do, since Gabriel always took forever in the bathroom on the first day of school. He assumed Gabriel would take extra long today since they would be the new kids at Heaven Hills High. Cas was going into his senior year just like Gabriel, except this was Gabriel's second senior year. He never finished at the old high school because he got kicked out for a prank involving mice in the cafeteria. 

Turning back into his room, Castiel pawed through his closet and settled on a pair of khakis and his favorite blue button-up shirt. After dressing, he risked a glance in his mirror, afraid of what his hair looked like. Needless to say, he had an extreme case of bedhead. He brushed through the mess of brown hair, flattening it the best he could before calling it 'as good as it's going to get' before heading out of his room to join his older sister, Anna, in the kitchen.

"Good morning, Cas," Anna said cheerfully, holding up the coffee pot.

Cas nodded and sat down at the kitchen table, mumbling a greeting and offering a tired smile as Anna set a mug of coffee in front of him. She turned back to the stove, prodding at what smelled like eggs, with a spatula. Her long, red hair was tied back in a braid and she was wearing her work uniform, "can you drive Gabe and I to school before you head to work?" Cas asked, spooning some sugar into the mug.

"Of course," Anna plated the eggs and joined Cas at the table, "I'm assuming Gabe's awake?"

"In the shower," Cas frowned, "jerk."

"You know how he is when it comes to impressing people," Anna said cooly, poking at her eggs with a fork, "you ready for today?" 

Cas shrugged indifferently. In all honesty he was never ready for the first day of school, especially when it was at a new school. Ever since their parents died, they'd been moved around so many times that Cas gave up on trying to make friends, "as ready as I'll ever be," he took a sip of his coffee, "do you think we'll be here for a whole year?"

"I can't afford to move us again, so it's looking like a definite possibility," Anna took a bite of her breakfast, chewing thoughtfully before speaking again, "this year will be better, I promise, Cas."

Cas half-smiled, "let's hope so," He knew Anna was trying. It was a lot for a twenty-five year old to take care of her teenage brothers alone. She was working three jobs on top of trying to get her art career on track. No matter how overworked she was, she was never in a bad mood and was always there for Cas and Gabe, no matter what. 

"Good morning," Gabe strolled into the kitchen, a towel wrapped around his waist and his hair already blow-dried and coiffed to perfection. He helped himself to some coffee and leaned against the counter, "first day of senior year," he was grinning, "ready to give 'em hell, Cassy?" 

"I guess," Cas swirled his coffee around the mug.

"That's the spirit," Gabe took a long sip of his coffee, "when's the taxi leave?"

"Ten minutes, so you'd better put some pants on," Anna raised an eyebrow to her younger brother, "you guys are going to have to walk home. I'm working late tonight," she cleared her plate from the table, "will you two be able to handle ordering a pizza for dinner?"

"I don't know, you might need to hold our hands. Adult supervision is recommended when inviting a stranger to the house," Gabe said sarcastically, finishing his coffee.

"Get dressed," Anna said, mock-sternly, laughing as Gabe sashayed out of the room, "he's in a good mood," she mused, her smile fading a little upon seeing Cas frowning into his mug again, "come on, Cas, cheer up. You might make some friends this year. It'll be great. Who knows, maybe you'll find yourself a girlfriend!"

Cas pushed his mug away, "if you say so," he faked a smile before putting his mug in the sink, "I'll be out in the car," he left the kitchen, toeing into his shoes and grabbing his backpack before leaving the apartment. 

The beaten up, red Chevy Chevette was parked out front. Cas hoped it would start up on the first try as he climbed into the back seat. He enjoyed the silence while he could, because once Gabe got into the front seat, he would have control of the radio, and it would turn into his own personal rock show. Cas sighed, closing his eyes, "maybe it won't be so bad," he mumbled to himself, hearing the front door of the apartment building shut, followed by Gabe's loud chatter. 

Once everyone had piled into the car and the music was blasting, Anna drove her brother's to school. Gabe jumped out without so much as a thank you, but Cas pressed a familial kiss to Anna's cheer, "I'll make sure Gabriel doesn't eat all the pizza."

"I'll see you later," Anna said, beaming, "try to smile, Cas."

"Okay," Cas forced another smile before getting out of the car. He watched Anna drive away, already counting the minutes to the end of the day. It wasn't that he disliked classes, in fact, he quite liked doing homework and studying. It was the whole 'dealing with people' thing he hated. People were cruel, especially to the shy, awkward boy with messy hair.  
Cas turned to look at his new school. It looked just like every other high school he'd been to in the past four years. Inhaling slowly, he took his first steps toward the building, not entirely sure where Gabe had gone. He walked up the cement steps and into the school; he actually sighed with relief when he saw the main office was right next to the entrance. There was literally nothing worse than having to ask someone for directions. 

As Cas reached for the door to the office, it burst open and Gabe walked out confidently, "Cassy!" he clapped his little brother on the shoulder, "We have Chemistry together. This is going to be a fun year!" he grinned wolfishly, holding up his schedule.

Chemistry with Gabe? Cas shuddered at the thought of Gabriel doing anything involving chemicals and bunsen burners, "great," he said quietly, "I'll see you then," he added, but Gabe wasn't listening, he was already making his way down the hall, making amicable comments to everyone he passed. Cas rolled his eyes and walked into the office.

"Can I help you?" the secretary looked up from her typewriter. She had tired eyes and her cheeks were sallow.

"I'm new, I just-"

"Are you Gabriel Novak's brother?" she asked, narrowing her eyes.

Cas sighed, "what did he do?" 

"Remind your brother that he shouldn't refer to staff members as 'sweet cheeks', please," the woman pulled out a folder, "Castiel Novak?" Cas nodded, "Alright, here's your schedule, locker combination and a map of the school," she handed the folder to Cas.

"Thank you, Miss...uh," Cas glanced at the name plate on the desk, "Conlin."

The woman smiled, "you're not like your brother. Much more polite."

"I try," Cas said shyly, taking the folder.

"Well, Castiel, I hope you have a nice day," Miss Conlin said kindly, going back to typing.

Cas muttered a thank you before leaving the office. He pulled out his schedule, glancing over it. He had English first with Mr. Singer, on the second floor. The school wasn't huge, so he took a risk trying to find the classroom without the map. 

The hall was now bustling with students, and Cas kept his head down as he made his way up a flight of stairs to the second floor and managed to find his English class without a problem. He opened the door and walked in. Several students looked up at him, but he ignored them and walked to Mr. Singer's desk, where the bearded, heavy-set man was seated, "is this English 104?" Cas asked, feeling eyes from his peers on him.

"Last I checked. You new, boy?" the man raised an eyebrow.

Cas nodded, "I just moved here. My name's Castiel Novak."

"Interesting name," the man offered his hand, "the school insists you call me Mr Singer, but most kids call me Bobby." 

Cas shook Bobby's hand, "interesting is one word for it," he smiled finally, "I prefer to be called Cas, if that's alright."

"Fine with me," Bobby stood up, "why don't you take a seat wherever. I'll let you say a few things about yourself when the rest of these slackers get in," Bobby chuckled, walking out into the hall to usher his returning students into the room.

Cas automatically took a seat in the back of the room, as far away from everyone as he could get. He tossed his backpack under his desk and focused on the graffitied wood surface, hoping Bobby would forget to let him introduce himself. Public speaking wasn't his forte by any means and he avoided it at all costs. 

The tardy bell rang and several students filtered into the room, taking their seats and chatting loudly amongst each other. Cas was thankful no one took the vacant desk next to him. After another few minutes, Bobby came back into the room and sat on top of his desk, "alright, alright, shut up," he was grinning, "is everyone here?"

"Everyone but Winchester," chided a scrawny, brown-haired boy sitting in the front row.

"Big surprise there, Garth," Bobby rolled his eyes, still good-natured, "might as well get introductions out of the way. We got ourselves a newbie," he motioned for Cas to join him, "Cas Novak, why don't you tell us about yourself."

Cas stared at Bobby, wide-eyed, "I-I'd really rather not," he stammered, feeling his cheeks burning.

"Well then, next topic," Bobby didn't push, and Cas took an automatic liking to him, "the syllabus," he snorted when the class let out a collective groan, "it's either the syllabus or a pop test on the summer reading," silence fell over the class and he continued, "this year we're going to cover-"

Bobby was interrupted by the door swinging open. Cas looked up to see a tall, handsome boy walk into the classroom, wearing a smug smile, "Bobby!" he clapped the teacher on the shoulder, "Good summer?" his smile was brilliant behind perfect lips, his green eyes scanned the room and stopped on Cas for a moment before he looked back at Bobby.

"You're late, boy," Bobby pointed to the only vacant desk, the one directly next to Cas, "now sit your ass down before I have to write you up."

"You know you love detention with me," Dean said, ignoring Bobby's retort as he strolled to the back of the room, taking a seat at the empty desk. He looked at Cas, offering a charming smile, "Dean Winchester," he held out his hand to Cas, "I don't think we've met."

Cas looked at Dean's outstretched hand, swallowing hard as he shook his hand, "Castiel Novak," he said gruffly, pulling his hand away.

"Castiel," Dean repeated to himself, sitting back in his desk, "cool name, man."

Cas cocked his head to the side, "you think it's cool?"

"Hell yeah. Way better than 'Dean' anyway," he chuckled, "I sound like a real chump."

"If the welcome wagon is done, I'd like to get started, Dean," Bobby looked from Cas to Dean, eyebrows raised. 

"By all means," Dean gave Bobby a thumbs up, pulling out a pencil and scrap of paper out of his pocket. Immediately he set to drawing what looked like a car.

Cas tried to pay attention to what Bobby had to say, but he kept glancing over at Dean, who was completely absorbed in his drawing. No one had ever willingly introduced themselves to him. He wasn't sure if Dean was psyching him out about liking his name or not. Judging by his letterman jacket, Cas assumed he was a popular jock who knew and was loved by everyone. Not really the type of person he got along with. But, judging a book by it's cover was something Cas tried to avoid. 

By the end of class, Cas had looked at Dean twelve separate times. He couldn't resist. Dean was handsome, plain and simple. Cas wasn't one to discuss his sexuality, even with his family, but he knew from a young age that he preferred men. Not that he had any experience with any gender, but there was something about men that intrigued him more than women. He couldn't help but wonder if Dean liked girls or boys. 

When the bell rang, the class pushed out of the room, and Cas gathered his things, walking briskly toward the door, nodding at Bobby before heading out into the hall. He fished his schedule out of his backpack again. Chemistry. With Gabe. He closed his eyes, sighing. He loved his brother, but he was genuinely uneasy about the possibility of Gabe blowing up the school by accident. He imagined all possible scenarios as he wandered down the hall to the chem lab, so deep in thought he didn't hear Dean calling his name until he was clapped on the shoulder, making him jump.

"Hey, man, what's the rush?" Dean winked at a group of girls walking by, "You're shy, aren't you?"

"I guess," Cas felt his cheeks burning. 

"You play football?" Dean asked, walking alongside Cas, "Try-outs are coming up."

"I prefer reading," Cas glanced at Dean, "I'm not athletic at all."

"It's all good," Dean looked at the schedule Cas was holding, "you got Chem with Harvelle? Lucky you. She's a good bird. I'm going steady with her daughter, Jo. You got a babe, Castiel?"

So Dean liked women. Cas felt a sinking feeling, despite only knowing Dean for an hour. He couldn't help but feel a little attracted to those gorgeous emerald eyes and amazing cheekbones, "Cas, please." 

"Cas," Dean took the schedule from him, "so, you got a babe, Cas?" he asked again, looking over the paper.

"No," Cas watched Dean run his finger over the writing on the page, "I need that."

"We have phys-ed together," Dean mused, handing the paper back, "watch out for Mrs. Tran in trig...she's crazy," Dean heard his name and turned around, "hey baby!" he called holding out his arm for a petite, blonde girl jogging to catch up with them. The girl sidled up to Dean and kissed his cheek, "have you met the new guy, babe? This is Cas." 

"I haven't," she smiled at Cas, "I'm Jo, nice to meet you, Cas."

"Likewise," Cas mumbled, looking down the hall at a group of students that had formed. They were chanting something that sounded strangely similar to _Gabe! Gabe! Gabe!_ When they got closer, Cas swore under his breath.

"Who's that?" Jo asked, standing on her tip-toes to see over the crowd, that was definitely chanting Gabe's name. 

"My brother," Cas stuffed his schedule in his pocket and pushed through the group of people to see what his brother had gotten himself into. When he got to the front, he saw Gabriel balancing a pencil on the tip of his tongue. He would never understood how his brother could control a crowd of people like that. 

"That's your brother?" Dean's voice made Cas jump; he didn't realize Dean had followed him, Jo in tow, into the throng of students.

"Yes," Cas sighed, "Gabriel."

Gabriel saw Cas out of the corner of his eye and jerked his chin up, causing the pencil to fly up in the air. He caught it easily and strolled over to his brother, "has everyone met my little brother, Cassy?" he yelled over the cheering, "Everyone say hi!"

Cas' cheeks were on fire as he ducked out of the crowd, speed-walking away as fast as he could, hoping the hallway distraction wouldn't make him late to class. His brother meant well, but it was embarrassing nonetheless. He'd nearly reached the chem lab before Dean caught up with him.

"You really _are_ shy," Dean seemed to have lost his girlfriend, "your brother is quite a character."

Cas looked at Dean, knowing his cheeks were glowing, "Gabe is a people person," he looked at his classroom door, "I should go..."

"Hey, why don't you grab some lunch with my brother and I after class?" Dean flashed his pearly whites, "I'd hate to have the new guy sit alone on his first day."

Cas gave him a quizzical look. He wasn't sure if Dean was serious or not. People typically didn't ask him to eat with them. It had been so long since someone other than his family intentionally talked to him. He didn't know how to react, "really?" 

Dean laughed, "yeah, really."

Cas cocked his head to the side, bewildered at how hard Dean was trying to be nice to him. He almost felt bad that he lacked social skills and was unintentionally rude to just about everyone. Finally, he smiled, "thank you."

Dean's mouth opened, as if he were going to say something, but he just stared at Cas smiling for a second before anything came out, "my pleasure, buddy," he clapped Cas on the shoulder, "tell Ellen that Dean Winchester sends his regards," his grin was back, "see you at lunch?"

"Yeah, sure," Cas' smile was genuine. Had he made a friend? He sure hoped so. Maybe things were finally looking up. The thought of seeing his new friend, or whatever he was, at lunch, kept his spirits high through out the entire chemistry class. Even Gabe's snide comments to Ms Harvelle didn't dampen his spirits. This was going to be his year. He could feel it.


	2. The Grand Tour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ignoring Gabriel's bad feeling about Dean Winchester, Castiel decides to give the friendship with Dean a chance. Cas almost regrets the decision when Dean insists they skip class so he could give Cas the grand tour of the town.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have specific days that I update. It's sporadic because the time I have to write is spaced out. 
> 
> BUT, please, if you like this fic, feel free to share it on Tumblr, etc, and leave kudos and comments. It motivates me to make more time to write! 
> 
> The plot is going to start picking up after this chapter. Enjoy!

After successfully finding his locker, Cas headed in the general direction of the cafeteria. His heart was racing at the thought of eating with new friends, but he had a feeling in the pit of his stomach that it was going to turn into a cruel prank. But, at the same time he couldn't help but trust Dean. Which was strange because he wasn't the type to trust people easily; it comes from having a brother like Gabriel.

"Cassy! Wait up!" Gabe's voice, followed by a surprise side-hug, caught Cas by surprise, "You ran out of Chem so fast I couldn't ask you how my favorite brother's day is going," he high-fiving a few passing classmates who referred to him as the "G-Man." 

Cas ducked out of his brother's grasp, "it's fine," he walked into the cafeteria and looked around.

"You waiting for a hot date?" Gabe mused, ruffling Cas' hair.

"Yeah, because the school cafeteria is so romantic," Cas swatted at Gabe's hand, "cut it out, Gabe," he tried to flatten his hair, but he knew it was fruitless. 

"Fixing your hair?" Gabe raised an eyebrow, following Cas toward the lunch line, "Who's the girl?"

"Hey, Cas!" Dean waved at Cas from a table. He was sitting with Jo, and a boy Cas hadn't met yet, but assumed was Dean's brother. Cas smiled shyly, awkwardly waving back under Gabe's unwavering scrutiny. 

"Dean Winchester? Really, Cas?" Gabe folded his arms, "I don't trust him," he whispered, going into big brother mode, "he's a jock. Remember the last time-"

"Dean's different," Cas snapped, harsher than he intended to. He didn't even really know if Dean was truly different than the jocks from his other school. The jocks who humiliated him on a daily basis; to the point where Cas had contemplated ending it all. 

"Whatever you say," Gabe narrowed his eyes at Dean, who was strolling over, grinning broadly at the brothers.

"Gabe Novak? I'm Dean Winchester," Dean offered his hand for Gabe to shake, "cool pencil trick, man."

Gabe shook Dean's hand, pulling Dean close so he could whisper in his ear, "you mess with Cas and you're in for a bad year," he growled, before faking a smile, "good to meet you, Dean. I have some," he paused for a minute, winking at a group of attractive girls walking by, "business to attend to," he said, wandering off after the girls.

"Protective older brother?" Dean watched Gabe walk away before turning to Cas, "I'm the same way with Sammy," he admitted, chuckling. God, his smile was perfect, Cas thought, zoning out for a moment, "so, uh, you still eating with us?" Dean asked when Cas didn't say anything.

"I need food first," Cas immediately felt like any idiot for his answer, but Dean ignored him and was steering him toward the table. Jo was talking animatedly to the boy Cas didn't know, and they were laughing when he and Dean got to the table.

"Hey, Cas," Jo pushed a can of coke toward him, "how was chemistry with my mom?"

"It would have been better if my brother wasn't in class with me," Cas opened the can when he sat down, taking a sip.

Dean took a seat next to Jo, "Cas, this is my brother, Sam," he said, nodding at Sam.

Cas nodded to Sam, before turning his attention down to his can of soda, unsure of anything to say. At least he wasn't sitting alone like he did at the rest of the schools he'd attended. He listened to Dean talk about some of his football buddies, Micheal and Adam, and about the Homecoming weekend game. Cas didn't mind. He liked listening to other people do the talking, he was a good listener. 

"You okay, Cas?" Dean asked after a few minutes, noticing Cas transfixed on the can of coke.

Cas glanced up, meeting Dean's eyes, "uh," he lost his train of thought, cocking his head to the side, unable to tear his eyes away from Dean. He knew Sam and Jo were staring, which made him blush, making the moment, if possible, even more awkward.

"Well," Sam cleared his throat, "I have to get to Algebra. Henrickson is a real hard-ass with tardiness," he nudged Jo, "I'll save you a seat."

"No need, I'm coming," Jo got up, kissing Dean on the cheek, "I'll see you after school," she followed Sam out of the cafeteria after saying goodbye to Cas, leaving him and Dean.

Dean walked around the table to Cas, sitting down next to him, "double PE this afternoon. Maybe we can blow it off," he was grinning mischievously.

Cas frowned, "on the first day of school?" 

Dean shrugged, "Coach won't care. I'll tell him I'm working on my game," he punched Cas playfully, "besides, you're new to town. I could give you the grand tour."

Cas had never skipped a class in his life, mostly out of fear for detention. He didn't want to be like his brother, who had probably already scored a detention. Dean was staring, waiting for an answer, Cas sighed, defeated, "as long as we don't get detention," he smiled shyly, "my sister doesn't need another Gabriel in the house."

A smile spread across Dean's face and he let out loud, appreciative laugh, "detention ain't the end of the world," he stood up, "and it's not like I never talked myself out of detention," he added, grabbing his backpack off the ground, "so I'll see you in PE, buddy," he winked at Cas before strolling out of the cafeteria. 

The wink caught Cas totally by surprise. He sat at the table, dumbfounded, for a second, before getting his bearings on reality. What did the wink mean? Was he reading too much into it? Cas' mind was racing as he walked to his trigonometry class with Mrs. Tran. Even through out the class, Cas didn't listen to anything Mrs. Tran had to say. His mind was transfixed on Dean. 

Cas' people skills were rusty. It had been so long since he'd had a real friend. Dean was clearly at the top of the school's social hierarchy, and truth be told, it was intimidating. Socializing and being one of the populars wasn't something Cas ever had any kind of interest in. He preferred the company of a good book or song...that is, until a few hours ago. Why Dean Winchester, of all people? 

Cas sighed in frustration, louder than he meant to, causing Mrs. Tran to call him out, "Mr. Novak, what seems to be the problem? Is the syllabus not exciting enough for you?" she asked, visibly annoyed.

"I, uh," Cas stared at Mrs. Tran, gaping and unable to think of anything to say, but luckily his mouth was trained, "sorry, I have a really awful migraine," he mumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose; mostly out of embarrassment.

Mrs Tran's expression softened, "my son has migraines. I totally understand. Go see the nurse," he shooed Cas with her hand and continued talking about the syllabus, as if uninterrupted. 

Cas gathered his things and left the room as quietly as he could, ducking out into the hallway and softly shutting the door. The hallway was completely vacant, it was almost eerie as he made his way to his locker. He didn't want to lie to the school nurse, so he decided to spend the class period in the library, reading. 

After getting his locker open on the first try, Cas grabbed his backpack and slung it over his shoulder. As he reached to shut his locker, he felt a presence, but shrugged it off; however, that didn't stop him from nearly having a heart attack when Dean was standing right behind his locker door after he shut it, "jeez, Dean! What are you doing?" Cas gasped, accidentally hitting him in the chest.

"Ow, shit, man! That hurt," Dean complained, rubbing his chest, "you got a killer right hook, Cas," he coughed, but he was smiling the wolfish smile that intrigued Cas from the beginning.

"Sorry," Cas couldn't help but laugh, making his apology sound insincere. But Dean laughed too, so Cas assumed everything was cool. Or at least he hoped it was, "I didn't mean to hit you so hard."

"It's all good, buddy," Dean shrugged it off, "so why aren't you in class?" he asked conversationally, following Cas to the library.

"I disrupted class and the first excuse I could think of was that I had I mirgraine," Cas glanced at Dean, who was listening intently, "so she told me to go to the nurse."

"But you didn't really have a migraine," Dean smirked at Cas.

"No," Cas chuckled, "I was going to go to the library and read until PE," outside the library, Dean grabbed the door handle as Cas reached for it, "what are you doing?"

"Saving you from yourself," Dean grabbed Cas' shoulder and turned him in the opposite direction, "I'm taking you on the grand tour of town now," he ushered Cas down the hall, "and don't even ask about PE. You're set. Trust me," he flashed a brilliant smile at Cas before stopping at his locker, "I just need to grab my keys."

"Are you sure it's okay we just leave?" Cas was worried. Maybe Gabriel was right to not trust Dean. Never in a million years would he think about skipping any class on the first day of school. Dean seemed genuine, but Cas couldn't help but feel uneasy.

"Cas, stop worrying so much. Live a little," Dean slammed his locker and twirled his keyring around his index finger, "let's roll."

\---

The sky was cloudless and the air was mild when Cas and Dean walked out into the student parking lot. A few other seniors were hanging out around their cars; Dean waved at a group of them before turning to a mint-condition black 1967 Chevy Impala, "hey baby," he cooed, brushing a leaf off the hood, "Cas, I want you to meet my baby."  
"Wow," Cas didn't know anything about cars, but he could tell this car was Dean's pride and joy, "she's quite a car," he could see his reflection in the paint, "much better than the Chevette my sister drives."

"A Chevette?" Dean looked horrified, "I'm so sorry, man."

"Well, it starts most days and usually gets us from point A to point B," Cas walked over to the passenger side and got in, "but it would be nice to have something nicer," he added, running his hand over the leather seat.

Dean climbed in and started the car. The engine roared to life, and Dean grinned smugly to himself before turning to Cas, "she likes you."

Cas' cheeks were on fire, "I'm...glad?"

Dean laughed, revving the engine, "she's glad too," he honked at his friends before pulling out of the parking lot, driving faster than necessary. Cas wasn't a fan of reckless driving. Anna was a safe driver, and he was used to feeling safe in a vehicle. But Dean drove so fast, that Cas was actually frightened. Dean picked up on his discomfort and slowed down a little, "sorry, I forgot you were there," he chuckled, "you're so quiet, man. Tell me about yourself."

"I'm not very interesting," Cas sighed, "I live with my sister and brother. That's about it."

"What about your parents?" Dean turned down a side street.

"My Dad never came back from Vietnam and my mom was sent to a mental hospital where she killed herself," Cas had never told anyone that. He bit his lip, looking at Dean, "sorry, I didn't mean to be so blunt."

"Shit," Dean stopped at a red light and turned to Cas, "I'm sorry. I didn't know. I wouldn't have asked if-"

"I don't want your pity," Cas interrupted, "I'm fine. Really."

"That's a lot of crap for someone deal with," Dean touched Cas' knee for a second, before the light turned green and he grabbed the wheel again, "I'm sorry for your losses, Cas."

Cas rested his hand on the spot where Dean touched him, "it was hard at first," he turned his attention out the window, "Anna, Gabe and I moved around a lot, until Anna got a few jobs out here over the summer. Hopefully we're here for good."

"A few jobs?" Dean whistled, impressed, "I only work at the diner and I'm beat."

"My sister works at a diner too. She also works part time as a seamstress and on her day off she works at the town library. She works so hard for Gabe and I," Cas smiled to himself, "I'm lucky to have a sister like Anna."

"Wait, ginger Anna?" Dean pulled the car over in front of a rundown apartment building, and laughed when Cas nodded, "I didn't know Anna was your sister. Small world, huh?" he mused, "Alright, first stop on the grand tour. Right here."

Cas furrowed his brow, "an apartment building?"

"Not just any apartment building," Dean announced, "this is Chateau Winchester."

"You only live a block from me," Cas noted, "I live down on Maple." 

"So you're the ones who moved into the Harvelle's old place," something caught Dean's attention in his rearview mirror, "fuck," he pulled back out onto the street, flooring the gas pedal.

"What the hell are you doing?" Cas yelled, covering his mouth when he realized he yelled.

"Is he following us?" Dean asked, glancing madly from the rearview mirror, back to the road, "No, okay, we're good," he slowed the car and took a sharp right down a back road.

"What was that about?" Cas asked, folding his arms, "You're a crazy driver."

"I'd rather deal with a cop than my dad catching me cutting class," Dean took a left down a dirt road, "my dad would literally beat the shit out of me." 

"That's horrible," Cas whispered, not sure of what else to say. His family was always close, so he didn't know if he could empathize with Dean, but he felt sympathy for him.

"My dad's not a bad guy," Dean pulled the car over into a dirt lot, "it's the booze that makes him the way he is," he sighed, "after my mom left him, he just lost it. I don't blame him for the shit he's done." 

Cas didn't know how to respond, instead he looked out the windshield, "so, uh, where are we?" Trees surrounded them, and there was a dirt path leading up a hill in front of the car.

Dean's smile returned, "next stop on the tour. This is a special stop because you're the only one who gets to see it," he turned the car off and got out, "I actually don't know why I brought you here," he was thoughtful for a moment, watching Cas get ouf of the car, "weird."

"What's so special about the woods?" Cas shut the door, "You're not going to leave me out here, are you?" he stared at Dean, wide-eyed, realizing that might have been the plan all along. His stomach twisted nervously.

"What did I tell you before? Chill, man," Dean walked around the car and headed toward the path, "no one knows about this place, and if I left you here, you'd give away my secret spot." 

"That's not comforting," Cas didn't move from his spot.

Dean turned around to face Cas, "I'm not going to leave you here," Dean nodded for Cas to follow him, "I come here when I need to get away from everything."

Cas reluctantly followed Dean up the hill, and was about to complain when the hill crested and the trees cleared, "you can see the whole town from up here," he breathed, looking out over the cliff, "wow."

"Pretty amazing, huh?" Dean walked over to a hollow tree and pulled out a big case, shaped like a guitar, "No one bothers me here. It's great."

"I thought you were Mr. Popular," Cas watched Dean pull a guitar out of the case, "why would you want to get away?"

"I guess I don't like playing popular jock all the time," Dean sat on the grass and plucked a few strings on the guitar, tuning it, "sometimes it's nice to come up here and draw or play my guitar. You know, whatever I feel like doing."

Cas nodded, "that makes sense," he sat on a rock near Dean, still in awe of the view, "nice choice for a secret spot."

Dean strummed absentmindedly at the guitar, "if you think this is something, you should see it at night."

"I imagine it's a nice view," Cas watched Dean's finger's expertly play the strings, "you're really good," he said after a few minutes, "where'd you learn to play?"

"My mom played," Dean ran his hand along the strings, "this is hers. She let me keep it when she moved out. My dad wouldn't let me play it in the house, so I hid it up here," Dean plucked a string, fiddling with the screw, "you play any instruments?"

Cas had never been musically inclined, but he always appreciated music. He gave the piano a try when he was a kid, but it didn't work out. Guitar was daunting, and he respected anyone who played it, "I'm not very musical. I prefer reading and writing."

"A musician and a writer," Dean grinned, "we have the makings of a band. Do you sing?"

"Sometimes I sing in the shower," Cas blushed as Dean laughed, not sure of why he'd just admitted that he sang in the shower. He felt at ease with Dean, and the feeling of ease made him nervous because people never had this effect on him. It was weird to feel such companionship with someone he'd literally met that morning; it basically boiled down to- they just clicked. And it was as simple as that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like this fic?
> 
> Check out my other ones, and be sure to leave kudos, bookmark it and share it! I'll be updating as often as I can!


	3. Falling Into Routine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas hit it off immediately. From the first day they met, they fell immaculately into a routine that quickly turned into a friendship Cas had never expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! Thank you for all the kind words, kudos etc on this fic. It's my first high school AU and I really appreciate the feedback. Feel free to share this fic, and find me on Tumblr: cockney-bitch.
> 
> Thanks again!!

Cas lost track of time at the secret spot. He sat quietly, watching Dean strum away at the weathered, old guitar, humming to himself. When Dean played, it was like nothing else existed. He was a completely different person, and it was mesmerizing to Cas; he knew he was staring at Dean, but it was hard not to.

Dean glanced at Cas, a small smile playing his lips, as he strummed the opening lick to 'Here Comes The Sun' by the Beatles, "you like The Beatles, Cas?" he murmured, mouthing the words to the song as he played, "I'm a Zeppelin man, but The Beatles are totally a guilty pleasure."

"My sister has all their records," Cas bobbed his head along to Dean's playing, "I love them."

"What's your favorite song?" Dean shifted to face Cas, "I gotta say, I have a weakness for 'When I'm 64.'"

"I hope I don't sound cliche, but 'I Want To Hold Your Hand' is one of my favorite songs of all times," Cas felt himself blushing for the umpteenth time, "I guess I'm a hopeless romantic."

"The quiet, romantic type," Dean put his guitar back in the case, "my girl says I'm not romantic enough," he laughed airily, "I think I'm a hopeless non-romatic," he added, smirking at Cas.

"Haven't you taken her here?" Cas asked, looking out, once again, over the town, "This is the epitome of romantic settings."

"Nah," Dean picked up the guitar case and stored it back in the tree, "she'd think I'm a dork if I took her up here and played my guitar," his cheeks were pink when he returned to the spot he was sitting.

"If she loved you, I'm sure she'd be flattered," Cas looked down at his hands, "for what it's worth, I think it's very romantic up here," he risked a glance at Dean, "Jo would like it," he added, hoping he wasn't sounding too flirtatious. The last thing he needed was Dean running off when he found out Cas had a slight crush on him. Dean liked girls, Cas reminded himself over and over again in his head.

"I haven't showed this place to anyone," Dean sat down on the grass, flopping down on his back so he could look at the sky, "well, except for you. I still don't know why I brought you here." 

"Maybe you wanted to murder me, but changed your mind," Cas quipped, letting himself gaze at Dean, who had closed his eyes. Watching the rise and fall of his chest, and smile playing those perfect lips almost took Cas' breath away. The more he learned about Dean, the harder it became to be cool. A fleeting thought of kissing Dean crossed Cas' mind and he cleared his throat to distract himself from it.

"I'm not going to murder you," Dean sat up and punched Cas lightly on the leg, "you want to go home?"

Cas looked out over the cliff again, "I think I'd like to stay here a little longer," he turned back to Dean, "if that's okay. I don't want to intrude on your spot." 

Dean pat the ground next to him, "it's all good. The rock can't be comfortable, grab some turf, buddy."

Cas laid on the ground, next to Dean and looked at the sky. For the most part, it was still cloudless, despite a single fluffy cloud drifting off to the east. He sighed happily, letting his eyes shut, unable to stop himself from grinning. Being this genuinely ecstatic was a rarity, and Cas was determined to enjoy it while it lasted.

"I don't believe that you don't have a girl," Dean said after a long silence, "nice guy like you. You should have girls begging to be with you."

"Girlfriend," Cas shook his head, amused, "honestly, I'm not really a ladies man."

Dean nodded, understanding, "boyfriend, then?" he asked, still amicable, as if nothing had changed. 

Cas was surprised at how accepting Dean was, though he didn't know why. Dean had been nothing but nice, why would sexuality change that, "I don't have anyone," Cas mumbled, still smiling, "sexuality is kind of a taboo topic, you know?"

"Yeah," Dean's voice trailed off and they fell into another companionable silence until Dean spoke again, "how'd you know?" he asked, his voice barely a whisper. 

"I just knew," Cas shrugged, turning on his side to look at Dean, "it's one of those things where it's hard to explain...you just know."

"Makes sense," Dean sat up, and looked at his watch, "school ended an hour ago. You think Gabe is going to be worried about you?" 

"Probably," Cas got up slowly, stretching, "would you mind dropping me at my place?" 

Dean stood up, cracking his knuckles before digging in his pocket for his car keys, "sure, buddy," he strolled back down the dirt path, Cas following close behind. 

They got into the Impala and drove back to town without conversation, listening to a tape of Bad Company. When Dean pulled to the curb in front of Cas' apartment he turned off the radio, "you want a lift to school tomorrow?" he asked, uncharacteristically shy.

"Sure," Cas reached for the door handle, "hey...can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, of course, buddy," Dean licked his lips, watching Cas.

"Can you keep my sexuality a secret? I haven't told anyone...I didn't mean to come out to you, I just-"

"Your secret is safe with me," Dean touched Cas' arm, "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

Cas exhaled, relieved, "thank you, Dean."

"Can I ask you something too?" Dean's hand was still on Cas' arm.

"What is it?" Cas cocked his head to the side, his eyebrows knitted.

"Will you go to the homecoming game? Support the home team, you know?" Dean dropped his hand and put it back on the steering wheel, "There's a party afterwards, and it's usually groovier than the game. You should come."

"Maybe I'll make an appearance," Cas opened the door and got out, bending to look at Dean again, "see you in the morning," he offered a quick smile before shutting the door and walking to his apartment, waving to Dean as he honked the horn and pulled away.

Cas closed the apartment door behind him and leaned against the cool metal, sighing. He didn't know what was happening; this intense, exciting feeling was filling him to the brim and threatened to spill over. He barely knew Dean, but at the same time, he felt that he knew Dean better than any of his peers. He saw a side of Dean that even Dean admitted he didn't show people, and he was shamelessly swooning. 

"Where the hell have you been?" Gabe's irritated voice tore Cas from his day dream. He was leaning against the door frame of their apartment, arms folded.

"Out," Cas breezed past Gabe into the apartment, making a beeline for his bedroom, Gabe close in tow.

"Out? It would have been nice if you told me you were going out," Gabe stopped just outside of Cas' room, still cross.

"It was spontaneous," Cas tried to close his door, but Gabe stuck his foot in to prevent it from shutting, "come on, Gabriel. I'm sorry."

"Who were you with?" Gabe raised an eyebrow.

"A friend was showing me around town," Cas gave up trying to close the door and went to sit on his bed. 

Gabe strolled into the room and leaned on Cas' desk, "you were with Dean Winchester."

Cas shrugged, "so?" 

"He's bad news, bro," Gabe said, disapproving.

"Because he's a jock?" Cas rolled his eyes, pulling a book off his bookshelf, "It isn't like our old school. Dean isn't like the others."

"How the hell do you know that? You met him this morning," Gabe walked over to Cas and took the book, putting it down on the night stand before sitting next to his little brother, "look, I just don't want to see you," he paused, frowning, "you know. Like before."

Cas nudged Gabe, "stop worrying. I'm not a kid anymore."

"You're still my little brother," Gabe's expression softened, "I worry."

"Don't," Cas smiled, "I'm happy for the first time in a long time. Dean accepts me for who I am. Can't you just accept that I've made a friend?" 

"If he starts any trouble, he's going to have to deal with me," Gabe got up and ruffled Cas' hair, "you hungry?"

"Starving," Cas felt his stomach rumble and remembered he only had a can of coke and some coffee that day, "pizza?"

"Can I put anchovies on it?" Gabe was smirking.

"If you put anchovies on it, you can deal with Anna's wrath when she comes home wondering why the apartment smells like low tide," Cas chuckled.

"So, no anchovies," Gabe laughed appreciatively, walking out of Cas' room, "extra cheese and pepperoni it is," he called, before his footsteps disappeared into the kitchen.

Cas flopped down on his bed, Dean's smile on his mind. He closed his eyes and replayed the afternoon in his head, a twinge of excitement hitting him when he realized Dean was driving him to school the next day. Sure, most people would scoff at his excitement over a new friend...but in all honesty, Cas was brimming with giddiness. It was usually Gabe who had the friends. Finally, he'd found someone who accepted him and made an effort at a friendship, "Oh, Dean," Cas sighed, "what am I getting myself into?"

It wasn't until he felt lips on his forehead that Cas realized he'd fallen asleep, "Anna?"

"I didn't mean to wake you," Anna brushed a few strands of hair out of Cas' face, "how was school?"

"Good," Cas yawned, hugging a pillow to his chest, "how was work?"

"Busy night at the diner," Anna flipped on Cas' table lamp, "Dean's a good kid. Don't listen to Gabe."

"Gabe told you about Dean?" Cas squinted at the light, "What did he say?"

"Typical Gabriel stuff. He's worried," Anna smiled, her eyes tired, "I work with Dean, and think you picked a good friend."

"I think so too," Cas pulled his blanket up, "Dean told me he worked with you."

"That's what he was saying earlier," Anna picked up the book Gabe put down on the nightstand earlier, "he told me you were special," she glanced up from the book cover, raising an eyebrow, "not like the other guys."

"He said that?" Cas tried to hide his smile, but failed miserably.

Anna's eyebrows both shot up, "is there something between you two?"

"No," Cas answered too-quickly, "he's going steady with a girl from school."

"I know," Anna giggled softly, reaching for her brother's cheek, "but you're blushing, so I had to ask." 

"We just met," Cas mumbled, hiding his face in the pillow, "can I sleep now?" he asked, his voice muffled.

Anna ruffled Cas' hair, pressing a kiss on the disheveled mess, "you can tell me anything, Cas. You don't have to be ashamed," she whispered before shutting the light off and leaving the room.

When the door clicked shut, Cas rolled onto his back, staring at the dark ceiling. He never told Anna that he was gay. It wasn't that he avoided it because he knew Anna would love him no matter what, it was just that he wasn't ready to say it out loud to his family. Anna would be thrilled, but he was worried that Gabe would go after Dean, ruining anything that could ever potentially happen. Cas swore under his breath, letting sleep take him again. 

\- - -

The following mornings, over the next two weeks, Dean picked up and dropped Cas back off at home every single day. They fell into a schedule, and soon became inseparable. Sometimes Dean would hang out at Cas' apartment, doing homework or watching TV until his curfew, other times they would study at the library until it closed. Regardless of the setting, Cas and Dean, and occasionally others in the group of friends, were together when they weren't in school.

Homecoming was just a few days away. Dean spent a lot of time practicing with the football team after school, which Cas and Jo were happy to sit through, chatting in the bleachers until practice let out. Cas liked Jo. She was smart, funny and absolutely charming.

The day before the Homecoming game, Jo and Cas were seated at the bleachers watching the team practice. Jo was jotting down notes for a quiz she had the following day, while Cas watched Dean throw a football to Micheal down on the field, "hey, Cas?" she asked, looking up from her notes.

"Hm?" Cas tore his eyes from Dean to look at Jo.

"Has Dean said anything to you about me?" Jo looked sullen, "Lately, I feel like he doesn't want to be around me. Every time I'm with him, he seems to want to be somewhere else."

Cas shrugged, "he said his dad has been giving him a rough time."

"That's not what a meant," Jo closed her notebook, "is he seeing someone else?"

Cas stared at her, bewildered, "Dean wouldn't do that," he said confidently, "He loves you. You know that."

Jo sighed, "you're right. Maybe I'm just being stupid."

"You're not stupid," Cas gave her a one-arm hug, "I think Dean just makes people crazy."

"Total understatement," Jo finally laughed, returning the hug, "you always know what to say, Cas. Thanks," she stood up, shoving her notebook into her bookback, "will I be seeing you at Homecoming?"

"I wouldn't miss your cheer-leading routine for the world," Cas smiled, "do you have to get to practice?"

"Yeah," Jo slung her backpack over her shoulder, "tell Dean I'll call him later, okay?"

Cas nodded, "you know I will."

"See you tomorrow, sweetie," Jo waved at Cas as she made her way down the bleachers and back toward the school.

Cas turned his attention back to the football practice that seemed to be ending. Dean looked up at the bleachers and yelled to Cas, "gimme ten minutes!" 

Cas gave Dean a thumbs up and put is homework back into his bag, making sure he grabbed everything before heading toward the student parking lot to meet Dean at the Impala. By the time he reached the car, Dean was strutting out of the school with Adam and Micheal, chatting enthusiastically about what Cas couldn't only assume was football. 

"Hey Cas," Adam high-fived Cas, "you think we're going to win the big game tomorrow?"

"You guys looked strong out there. I'd be shocked if you lost," Cas still wasn't sure how football was played, but between watching practices and Dean explaining the rules, he was slowly starting to understand.

"You going to the game?" Michael leaned against the hood of the car, "You're like our unofficial cheerleader," he sneered.

"Cas just supports the home team, don't you, buddy?" Dean punched Michael playfully.

"I do what I can," Cas smiled awkwardly. He didn't have anything against Michael, but he always got the feeling that Michael hated him for some reason.

"I'm sure," Michael nudged Adam, "I want a burger. You in?"

"When do I ever turn down a burger?" Adam laughed, "You guys coming?"

"I'll take a rain check," Dean pulled his keys out of his pocket, "I have some errands to run before tomorrow," he added cryptically, winking at his friends.

"Want to grab me some buds?" Adam pulled a fiver out of his pocket, "Rufus won't sell to minors anymore."

"Bummer, man. I don't buy for minors," Dean grabbed the five, laughing when Adam stuck up his middle finger, "where's the party at tomorrow?"

"Garth's folks are out of town for the weekend. I hope that nerd can throw a rager," Michael snorted, "of all people to throw a party."

"Garth is nice," Cas said quietly.

"I'm gonna have to agree with Cas there, Mike," Dean unlocked his car door, "I'll see you boys in the morning."

After their goodbyes to Adam and Mike, Cas and Dean got into the Impala, "why doesn't Mike like me?" Cas asked after a few minutes. It genuinely bothered him. He tried to be friendly, but it never seemed to work.

"Probably jealousy," Dean rolled his eyes, "apparently I'm not allowed to spend time with anyone else. He's like an over-protective wife, I swear."

"I got that," Cas looked out the car window, watching the pinks and purples of sunset span out over the sky, "I didn't mean to intrude on his friendship with you."

"You didn't. Mike's just being a chump. Don't worry about him," Dean turned down Maple street, "you're still going to the game, right?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world," Cas grinned at Dean, "you're going to win it. I just know it."

Dean pulled the car in front of Cas' apartment, "you're a good friend, Cas," he touched Cas' shoulder, "I'm glad I talked to you in Bobby's class that day."

Cas' cheeks ignited, "I...me too."

Dean laughed, squeezing Cas' shoulder, "need a ride to the game tomorrow?"

"Anna said I could use the car tomorrow. She finally has a day off and wants to work on her new painting," Cas glanced at Dean's hand still resting on his shoulder.  
"I'll have to swing by at some point and see it," Dean dropped his hand, raking it through his hair before resting it on the wheel, "I guess I'll see you tomorrow."  
"Yeah, definitely," Cas got out of the car, and went around to Dean's window, "good luck tomorrow, Dean."

"Like I need it," Dean said smugly, winking at Cas, "see ya, buddy."

Cas laughed and waved at Dean as he drove off. He was smiling when he walked into his apartment, glad that no one was home. It didn't even phase him that he forgot to tell Dean that Jo was going to call him. It slipped his mind. Right now, Anna was working and he assume Gabe was spending time with the girl down the hall, Meg. The two met a week prior and spent as much time as humanly possible together now. It was nice to have some quiet time after school.

Cas grabbed a coke out of the fridge and situated himself on the sofa after turning the television on. He didn't know what was on, but he mainly had it on as background noise anyway. Closing his eyes, he let his mind wander to day dreams he couldn't risk having at school. He tried to keep his crush on Dean a secret, but he had a feeling that people were catching on- especially Jo. He had to keep it on the down-low, he thought to himself, Dean wasn't interested like that.

Dean would never like Cas the way he liked Dean. He accepted that, but that didn't stop his mind from wandering. It wasn't like he was acting on those feelings anyhow. Dean was his best friend. He wasn't going to ruin that for anything.


	4. Football and Floodgates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas quickly learns that the Homecoming football game is a huge deal to everyone in school. Sure, he still knows next to nothing about football, but that doesn't stop him from having a memorable Homecoming day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go. That plot picks up now. Like "Fast Times At Heaven Hills High?" Be sure to leave kudos, bookmark and comment! Loads more to come! Thanks again for all your kind words already! It means a lot!

**Homecoming Game**

Cas woke up early the morning of Homecoming. He had to be at the field for noon, but decided to take the time to look extra nice since he was sure Dean would drag him to the after party, even though he wasn't keen on parties. Maybe he'd make a quick appearance.

After showering, Cas pulled on his favorite pair of jeans and the "Heaven Hills Angels" t-shirt that Dean loaned him for the game. He claimed Cas needed it for team spirit. Cas couldn't turn it down- especially since the shirt smelled like Dean's cologne. 

Cas brushed through his hair and stared at himself in the mirror for a long time before making his way to the kitchen. Gabe was making a pot of coffee and Meg was sitting at the kitchen table, she smiled at Cas, "morning, sleeping beauty."

"Hello," Cas joined her at the table, "are you two going to the game today?"

"We're not cheerleaders like you, Cas," Gabe handed Meg and Cas mugs, "I'm taking my lady on a date today. Movies, food, maybe some sex."

"How did I get so lucky?" Meg rolled her eyes, spooning some sugar into her cup.

Gabe winked at her, pouring coffee into her mug, "you love it, babe."

"If you say so," Meg giggled when Gabe pressed a kiss to her cheek, "go shave," she swatted gently at him, "you're stubbly."

Cas watched his brother and Meg interact and couldn't help but wish he had that with someone. Particularly Dean, "I should finish getting ready," Cas mumbled, excusing himself from the table. He walked down the hall to Anna's room and tapped lightly on the door, "Anna?"

"Come on in," Anna called from the other side of the door.

Cas poked his head in, "I just wanted to let you know I was heading out," he looked at the large piece of canvas hanging on Anna's wall. It looked like she was painting the night sky, although there was probably more paint on her body than the canvas, "I like that."

Anna smiled, she had blue paint smeared across her cheek, "thanks Cas," she dropped her paintbrush into a cup of water, "what time are you going to be home?"

Cas shrugged, "that depends on whether or not I go to the after party."

"You might go to a party?" Anna looked surprised.

"Maybe," Cas leaned against the door frame, "I'm not sure yet."

"You should," Anna pulled her hair back into a messy bun with the elastic band around her wrist, "Gabe's going to be gone all night and I'm going to be shut up in here, painting. Go have fun," she walked over to Cas and shooed him out of her room, "seriously, go."

"Okay, okay," Cas chuckled as Anna said goodbye and shut her door. He grabbed his shoes and wallet from his room before walking back out to the kitchen. Meg was sipping her coffee, while Gabe, Cas assumed, was in the shower.

"See you around, Cas," Meg tossed the car keys, that were sitting on the table, to Cas.

"Have fun with Gabe," Cas caught the keys and grabbed his coat from the hall closet. Meg flashed a peace sign at him as he left the apartment. 

Surprisingly, the Chevette only took two tries to start. The engine rattled to life and Cas was on his way. By the time he reached the school, the parking lot was starting to fill with students and other members of the community. He didn't realize what a big to-do Homecoming was. There was no less than twenty people in full body paint, in support of the Angels. 

After driving around the parking lot a few times to find a decent spot, Cas shut the car off, not bothering to lock the door since no one in their right mind would steal a crappy Chevette. He shrugged into his jacket and walked down to the field, managing to find a seat at the top of the bleachers where he could see the whole field perfectly. 

Eventually Jo, Sam and Sam's girlfriend, Jess, joined him. He'd never met Jess, but she was sweet and had a personality that was hard to dislike. Jo sat next to Cas, "would you mind watching my purse during the game?" she handed Cas her bag, "I'll come find you afterwards."

"No problem," Cas tucked her purse under his khaki trench coat, "good luck down there."

Jo pressed a kiss to his cheek, "you're the best, Cas," she waved at Sam and Jess before making her way down to the field.

"You going to the party later on?" Sam asked, scooting closer to Cas to give Jess more room.

"Depends on how crazy it's going to be," Cas pulled some gloves out of his pocket and slipped them on, "I don't drink, so it might be awkward to go."

"I know how you feel. Jess and I are skipping the Homecoming party. Last year the cops showed up," Sam laughed, "Dean showed up at home, drunk as a skunk and out of breath."

"Drunk as a skunk?" Jess snorted, "He was totally smashed. I don't know how he got away from the cops."

"He's Dean. I don't think we'll ever know," Sam looked down at the field when the marching band started playing the school song, "you think we have this game in the bag?" he asked no one in particular.

"Definitely," Cas watched the band make it's way onto the field, "the Devil's should give up while they have the chance."

Sam draped his arm around Jess, "let's hope you're right. After last year's loss at states, the team could really use an ego boost." 

The game was exciting, to say the very least. It was tied almost the entire time, until the last minute when Dean scored the winning touchdown. The stands of Angels fans went absolutely mad, cheering and spraying assorted beverages on each other. It was beautifully chaotic. Cas had to push through dozens of people to get down to the field, where the football team was tackling and hugging each other.

Dean saw Cas immediately and lunged at him, "we won!" he howled, hugging Cas, nearly knocking him over.

Cas caught his balance, "congratulations, Dean," he hugged Dean back, not wanting to let go, but Dean pulled away and ran over to Adam, tackling his and messing up his already disheveled hair. It made Cas happy to see everyone else happy. 

Jo hugged Cas from behind, "what a game!" she was beaming as she thanked Cas for holding her purse, "The party tonight is going to be far out, you in, Cas?"

Cas held up his hands, "oh, I think I'll pass. It might be too crazy for me."

Dean made his way back over to Cas and Jo, pulling Jo into a passionate kiss. She hit his chest playfully, "later, babe," she laughed, "after the party, okay?" 

"Everyone's heading over to Garth's now," Dean pulled a rag out of his pocket and wiped his face, "you're coming, right, Cas?"

"He said it was going to be too crazy for him," Jo said, mimicking Cas' voice, making Cas laugh.

"What? Too crazy?" Dean rolled his eyes, "Way to ruin the celebration, Cas."

"I'm no fun at parties," Cas admitted, waving Sam and Jess over to them, "besides, I'm sure you'll have fun with the team and Jess."

Dean looked sad for a split second, before noticing his brother, "Sammy!" he yanked his brother into a tight hug, "Did you see that touchdown? I'm amazing!"

"And modest," Sam joked, grabbing Jess' hand, "we just wanted to come down and congratulate you before we head out."

"You're not coming to Garth's either?" Dean folded his arms.

"Not after the cop's showed up last year," Jess raised an eyebrow at Dean, "my mom would ground me forever if I got arrested."

"Be that way then," Dean wrapped his arm around Jo's waist, "we'll have fun then, won't we, baby?"

"Sure," Jo looked at Cas, "are you sure you don't want to come?"

"Yeah, Cas! Come on, it'll be fun," Dean gave Cas a very good imitation of a sad puppy face.

"Really, I think I might just do that paper for Bobby's class," Cas went to touch Dean's arm but stopped himself, "I think I'm going to go before everyone else leaves. Enjoy the party, you'll have more fun without me anyway."

Dean definitely looked upset for a moment. Cas wasn't imagining it, "I doubt that," he mumbled. Jo was talking to one of the other cheerleaders and didn't hear, but Cas did. He gave an apologetic smile before ducking through the crowd back to his car. In a way he regretted turning down an invitation to his first high school party, but at the same time, he knew he'd be uncomfortable with his drunk peers everywhere. Not really his scene.

Cas left the school, wondering how crazy the party was actually going to be. He hoped Dean and Jo wouldn't get into any trouble, or anyone else he knew, for that matter. The last thing he needed was someone getting into a drunken car wreck or something. He couldn't help but worry about his friends.

As he pulled into the usual parking spot in front of the apartment building, Cas turned the car off and walked inside. The apartment, to his surprise, was empty. A note was on the kitchen table:

_Cas-_

_I'm going out for the night to unwind with the girls from the Tailor Shop. There's leftover chicken in the fridge if you're hungry._

_Hugs,  
Anna_

"I guess I really am the only chump staying in tonight," Cas mumbled, deciding to spend his afternoon lounging in his bedroom, reading 'The Hobbit' for the tenth time. Though, he could hardly focus on reading because he wondered what Dean was doing. Was he rude to decline the invitation? 

The remainder of the afternoon was spent watching Leave It to Beaver on television, eating leftovers and listening to his favorite Beatles album, Sergent Pepper, on Anna's record player. It was enjoyable to have the apartment to himself, since it so rarely happened. By ten at night, he'd drifted off on the couch, holding 'The Hobbit' to his chest. 

About an hour after he'd fallen asleep, the phone started ringing, scaring Cas out of his little cat nap. He felt around in the dark for the receiver and held it to his ear, "hello?" he asked, sleep still evident in his voice. There was loud music and people talking on the other end, "Hello?" he asked again, annoyed.

"C-Cas?" It was Dean, and he sounded incredibly drunk, "Cas, um, hey."

"Do you have any idea what time it is?" Cas asked, yawning as he reached to turn on the table lamp.

"I need you," Dean slurred into the phone, "please, Cas."

"What's wrong?" Cas knew something wasn't right. He could hear it in Dean's voice.

"I can't drive," Dean sniffled loudly. He was crying, and it caught Cas off guard.

"Do you want me to come get you?" Cas asked, "What happened?"

"Please," Dean caught his breath, another loud sniffle coming through the phone. 

"Are you...crying? Dean, are you okay?" Cas toed into his shoes, still grasping the phone reciever.

"Please, Cas, just...come," Dean hung up the phone. 

Cas never left his apartment so fast. He ran out to the car and drove to Garth's house as fast as the speed limits would allow him. There were cars lining the street, and drunk minors stumbling up the sidewalks. He recognized Adam and Mike out on Garth's lawn; Adam was doubled over vomiting. Cas cringed as he pulled the car up in front of the house and got up. He walked over to Mike and Adam, "have you two seen Dean?"

Mike took a swig of beer, "why do you wanna know?" he asked, his eyes lidded.

"He called me asking me to come," Cas pulled wad of tissues out of his pocket and handed them to Adam, "is he okay?"

"Adam can't hold his whiskey," Mike slapped Adam on the back and laughed.

"Can it," Adam gagged again, looking up at Cas, "Dean locked himself in the bathroom, last I checked."

Cas sighed, "what happened?"

"Him and Jo got in a big fight," Mike snorted, finishing his beer, "it was like a movie."

"A fight?" Cas looked over to the house, "I should probably go see what's up."

"Go get 'em, lover boy," Mike pulled a beer out of his back pocket and cracked it.

Cas ignored Mike's comment and walked up to the house, not bothering to knock. Inside, it seemed like the whole school was celebrating the football win. A few people high-fived him on his way to the bathroom. Garth was leaning up against the wall, a grin on his face, "Garth?"

"Hey, man, you thirsty?" Garth offered Cas his beer.

"No, thank you. I'm looking for Dean," Cas watched Garth down his beer, "have you seen him?" At that moment, the bathroom door opened and Dean stumbled out, walking right into the wall. Cas helped Dean stand up straight, "Alright, Dean?" 

"Cas!" Dean wrapped his arms around Cas, squeezing him as tight as his drunk body would allow, "You came!" he still had tears rimming his eyes.

"You called me," Cas reminded him, "I'm going to take you home."

Dean nodded, taking Garth's beer, "I think you've had enough, buddy."

Cas took the beer from Dean, "you too," he gave the beer back to Garth, "let's get you home."

"You're the best, Cas," Dean linked his arm with Cas', dragging him out of the house. He waved at Mike and Adam, but they didn't see him, before Cas helped him into the Chevette.

"What happened tonight?" Cas asked, pulling away from the party.

"Jo said I didn't love her," Dean sunk down in the seat, covering his face with his hands. He was shaking.

"What did you say?" Cas tried to keep his voice comforting, despite being annoyed that Dean woke him up and forced him into the party situation.

"I told her she was being stupid," Dean sniffed loudly, rubbing his eyes, "and she called me a jerk."

"I don't blame her," Cas mumbled, turning down Dean's street, "I think you should get some sleep. I'll help you up to your apartment."

"No," Dean grabbed Cas' arm, "please. Not yet."

"What?" Cas drove past Dean's apartment, "Where do you want me to take you then? You're not going back to the party."

"Special spot," Dean squeezed Cas' arm, "please, Cas?" he sounded almost childish, begging like that.

Cas couldn't say no, "okay, okay. We'll go. But after I'm taking you home. You really need to sleep," he took the same route Dean had taken him several weeks prior, pulling into the dirt lot and parking the car. Dean was sleeping, "we're here," Cas shook Dean's shoulder and turned the car reading light on. 

Dean blinked a few times, "Cas?" 

"Hi Dean," Cas smiled at him, "how are you feeling?"

"Where are we?" Dean squinted out the window.

"Your special spot," Cas turned the car off and got out. 

Dean followed suite, losing his balance and hitting the ground, "walking sucks," he complained.

Cas laughed and rounded the car to help him up, "let's go look at the town, okay?" he wasn't meaning to talk to Dean like a kid, but truth be told, drunk Dean was acting extremely immature.

Dean let Cas lead him up to the special spot. When they got to the top of the hill, Dean sat down and looked over the town, "I told you it's beautiful at night," he whispered, hugging his knees to his chest. The moon was high in the sky and cast just enough light for them to see each other. 

Cas sat down next to him, "you did," Cas noticed Dean wasn't wearing a jacket, and took his off, draping it over Dean's shoulders, "where's your jacket?"

"I don't know," Dean hugged Cas' coat around him, "this is mine now."

"You can borrow it," Cas corrected him, unable to be upset at the situation anymore. Dean was cute when he was drunk. Then again, Dean was always cute. Cas couldn't help chuckling to himself.

"Don't laugh at me," Dean nudged Cas. 

"I'm not," Cas snorted, "you're just cute when you're drunk," he immediately regretted his choice of words, "I mean, funny," he cleared his throat, embarrassed, "you know what I mean."

"You think I'm cute?" Dean looked at Cas, a smile playing his lips. 

"I didn't mean it like that," Cas scooted away from Dean a little, "sorry."

"Yeah you did," Dean still didn't turn away from Cas.

Cas felt like he was going to vomit. Dean knew? He sighed, carding his hand through his hair, "I'm sorry...I didn't mean to-"

"Chill out, man," Dean was grinning, "I'm flattered."

Cas folded his arms, "stop making fun of me."

"I'm not, honest," Dean scooted closer to Cas, "I'm lucky to have someone like you."

"How did the fight between you and Jo happen?" Cas was desperate to change the topic. He was positive his cheeks were actually glowing at this point. 

Dean's smile faded, as if he'd forgotten about Jo. Cas regretted bringing it up, "I was bummed you didn't come, man," Dean closed his eyes, "Jo made a comment that I loved you more than her...and one thing lead to another...and here we are."

"What did you say to Jo?" Cas could hear his pulse in his ears. 

"I already told you. I said she was being stupid," Dean rested his chin on his knees, frowning.

"You didn't mean that though. You love her," Cas looked away from Dean, turning his attention to the town below.

"I do," Dean agreed, "but...it's complicated."

"You two have been together forever. How is it complicated?" Cas was confused. Dean wasn't making any sense.

"She's a beard," Dean whispered, staring at Cas, "Dammit, Cas...I'm so drunk right now," he rubbed his hands on his face.

"What are you trying to say?" Cas breathed, almost positive he knew what Dean was talking about. But he had to be sure.

Dean was silent for a long time. Cas assumed Dean didn't even know what he was talking about and breathed a sigh of relief, laying back on the grass to look at the starry sky. Dean didn't move, he hugged Cas' coat to his body, staring off into the distance. Cas wasn't going to pry, whatever Dean wanted to say would be said if it needed to be said. 

After a while, Cas sat up and looked at Dean, "you almost ready to go home? It's late."

Dean shook his head, his eyes meeting Cas', "Cas, have you ever had feelings for someone and couldn't, you know, do anything about it?"

"What do you mean?" Cas cocked his head to the side, "Like, romantic feelings?"

"Yeah," Dean nodded, "you ever like someone you couldn't have?"

"You don't know the half of it," Cas blurted out before he could stop himself, making Dean grin.

"Me too," Dean said, almost shyly. 

"You could have any girl you wanted, and you know it," Cas rolled his eyes, "what are you on about?"

"It's not a girl," Dean stretched out his legs in front of him, before leaning closer to Cas. His eyes were wide, "it's...well, it's not a girl."

Cas inhaled sharply, "so, it's a..."

"You," Dean said finally, exhaling loudly, "it's you, okay? I can't stop thinking about you, Cas. I'm crazy about you," the floodgates were opened, and Cas could only stare, open-mouthed as Dean rambled on, "I can't tell the guys...or Jo...dammit, Cas...what do I do?" he covered his face, the soft sniffling returning again. 

"What do you think you should do?" Cas asked, his voice barely a whisper, as he tried to process what Dean was saying. 

Dean's gaze locked on Cas, "I think I should kiss you." 

Cas' jaw dropped, he couldn't respond. What would he say? Dean was staring at him expectantly, his eyes wet with fresh tears. Cas simply nodded, unable to say anything.

Dean scooted even closer to Cas, their arms brushing together, "you ever kiss anyone, Cas?" Dean asked, gently running his index finger along Cas' jaw before cupping his cheek in his hand.

Cas closed his eyes, and shook his head, "never," he mouthed, feeling Dean's thumb stroking his cheek. He swallowed hard, not sure of what to do. 

"Really?" Dean murmured, sidling up to Cas, "I find that hard to believe," he moved his hand to the back of Cas' neck, "you're special."

Cas opened his eyes, surprised at how close Dean's face was to his. He chewed his lip, unsure of what to say. His eyes kept darting to Dean's lips. 

"Can I kiss you, Cas?" Dean rested his forehead against Cas', playing with a few strands of hair on the nape of his neck.

Cas licked his lips, not breaking eye contact with Dean, "you want to kiss me?" Dean nodded, smiling, "what about Jo?"

"Shh," Dean brushed his lips against Cas'. Cas closed his eyes, letting Dean press their lips together, lingering for a moment before pulling away, "I knew it."

"Knew what?" Cas reached up and caressed Dean's cheek, his own cheeks flushing deep red. He swore for a moment he saw stars when their lips met.

Dean leaned into the touch, smiling, "fireworks," he sighed happily. His breath smelled like cheap beer.

Cas' eyebrows shot up, "you saw them too?" 

Dean nodded, chuckling airily, "fireworks only happen when you meet the one. It's science."

"I don't think that's science," Cas snorted, "I think you're just drunk."

"I would have kissed you sober," Dean grinned, leaning in to kiss Cas again, "and I will."

"Promise?" Cas breathed against Dean's lips.

"Promise," Dean pecked Cas' lips once more before standing up, stumbling to the side before catching his balance.

Cas stood up, "what now?" he asked, running his hand through his hair.

"Sleep," Dean yawned, stretching his arms.

"I'll take you home then," Cas brushed past Dean, trying to be nonchalant as Dean laced their fingers together, "we can talk in the morning when you've sobered up."

Dean squeezed his hand, "you're afraid this is just because I'm drunk," he mumbled, getting in the car when Cas opened the door for him.

Cas let go of Dean's hand and closed the door, before getting into the driver's seat, "that's not what I'm afraid of."

"What is it then?" Dean asked quietly.

Cas turned the car on, "I'm afraid this ripple is going to cause a tidal wave."

"Can you swim?" Dean turned the radio on, beaming when Zeppelin started playing.

"No," Cas turned out onto the dirt road, heading back to town, "can you?"

"Nah," Dean looked out the window, "I think we probably should invest in a boat."


	5. Candy Corn Tastes Like Crap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Dean have a complicated relationship. Cas knows it, Dean knows it. And as they get closer, things get more complicated. Dean is willing, but Cas is reluctant, especially with Jo still in the picture. He refuses to hurt Jo, and for now, they have to play it cool. Things will work out in the end, otherwise it isn't the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, well, well. You guys are so sweet for all the kudos, bookmarks and comments. I appreciate it! It motivates me to keep writing! Thank you for bearing with me and my lack of updates! I bring this peace offering, a long chapter, for your reading pleasure! Enjoy! And feel free to share it! (If you post it on Tumblr, let me know! I'll reblog from you! cockney-bitch.tumblr.com.)

Cas walked to Dean's apartment the following morning, around ten. He really hadn't slept since dropping Dean off about eight hours prior. How could he sleep? His mind was spinning from the kiss, and he couldn't help but be cheerful; even Anna noticed how pleasant he was. Fortunately, she didn't ask too many prying questions. Cas wasn't ready to explain that he was practically giddy over a kiss with the popular quarterback. Not yet, anyway.

As Cas climbed the stairs to Dean's third-floor flat, he felt uneasy, as it was the first time he'd actually been to the apartment. After all the horror stories Dean told him about his dad, Cas avoided going to visit. He paused for a minute outside of apartment 3A, inhaling before knocking on the door. 

There was movement inside, followed by Sam's voice, "coming!" the inside lock on the door clicked, and it slowly opened, "Cas?" Sam looked confused, opening the door a bit more. 

"Dean told me to come by this morning," Cas said sheepishly, carding his hand through his still-damp hair, "or, at least Drunk Dean told me to," he added, chuckling. 

Sam grinned, "why don't you come in? My dad's at work," he let Cas in, "I'll go see if I can wake up Sleeping Beauty," he shut the door, "sorry about the mess. I didn't know Dean was having you stop by," he offered Cas a seat before disappearing down the hall to Dean's room.

Cas liked Sam from the start; Sam was one of the most genuinely kind people Cas had ever met, not to mention extremely mature for being only a sophomore. Sam was well-liked by just about everyone though, unlike his brother. Dean had a tendency to have a bad reputation because he drove too fast and Cas had even heard someone call him a 'bad apple' because he wore his jeans too tight. People just didn't see Dean the way Cas saw him. 

"He's alive," Sam returned, walking into the kitchen, "you can go down and make sure he gets up. He kind of growled at me," Sam poked his head into the parlor, holding up a mug, "coffee?"

"No, thank you though," Cas nodded toward Dean's room, "I'm going to drag him out of bed. He owes me for playing babysitter last night," Cas walked down the hall and tapped on the door with a Led Zeppelin poster on it, "Dean?" he opened the door and peered inside. The room was dark, and cluttered with posters and dozens of boxes of papers, records and tapes. In the corner, Dean was sleeping in a cocoon of blankets, snoring soundly, "Dean, wake up," Cas kicked the mattress. 

"No," Dean groaned, whipping a pillow in Cas' direction.

"Hey!" Cas dodged the pillow, "I should be the grumpy one, Dean," he grabbed the pillow and threw it at Dean's head.

"What the hell, man," Dean rolled on his back, rubbing his eyes and grumbling for a moment before noticing Cas, "Cas?" he sat up.

"Good morning," Cas walked over to the window and pulled open the curtains, grinning to himself when Dean moaned miserably from the sunlight, "how are you feeling?" Cas folded his arms, attempting to look cross. 

Dean pinched the bridge of his nose, still cringing from the sudden burst of light in the room, "I'm never drinking wine again," he mumbled, "next time I tell you to come in the morning, please ignore me," he laid back down, covering his head with the blanket, "can I sleep now?" his voice was muffled by the covers. 

"We need to talk. Now," Cas remained stoic. 

Dean peeked out from under the blanket, squinting at Cas, "About?"

"Last night," Cas folded his arms.

Dean knitted his eyebrows together, recalling the evening, "oh," he tossed the blanket on the floor, "I'm up, I'm up," he climbed out of bed, still wearing the clothes Cas dropped him off it- shoes and all. He glanced in the mirror before turning to Cas, a small smile playing his lips.

Cas raised an eyebrow, "I was thinking we could get some breakfast. It'll help your hangover," he finally smiled, "I've been told greasy diner food cures hangovers like nothing else."

"I want a burger," Dean took a step toward Cas, "look, about last night," he locked eyes with Cas, losing his train of thought instantly.

"If you think I'm upset, I'm not," Cas reached out and touched Dean's shoulder, "I think we just need to talk in private." 

Dean nodded in agreement, "I'll drive," he reached around Cas and grabbed the car keys off the dresser, intentionally brushing up against Cas as he stood up straight again. When he was upright, he noticed Cas avoiding his gaze, chewing his lip, "chill man," he wrapped his arm around Cas' waist, "if I remember correctly, I made a promise to you last night," with his free hand, he cupped Cas' cheek, "and you know I don't make promises I won't keep," he leaned in close, their noses touching, "I hope that's okay."

Dean's breath was hot against Cas' lips, "you remember everything?" he asked, his breath hitching when Dean pulled him closer.

"Mhm," Dean pressed their lips together for a moment and smiled, caressing Cas' cheek with his thumb, "fireworks," he breathed, stealing one more kiss before heading toward the bedroom door, as if nothing had happened, "come on, Cas. I have an idea."

"Idea?" Cas blinked a few times, coming back to reality, "I don't know how I-"

"Trust me," Dean left the room after winking at Cas.

Cas sighed, "Are you sure you're good to drive?" he followed Dean out into the parlor, where Sam was currently watching cartoons. 

"Sammy, we're going to grab a bite to eat. You going to be good here?" Dean ignored Cas' inquiry, shrugging into the leather coat he'd discarded on the arm rest of the sofa. 

"I'm not a kid, Dean," Sam took a long, appreciative sip of his coffee to prove his point.

"If dad comes home early, tell him I'm out with Jo, okay?" Dean messed up Sam's hair.

"Jo. Right," Sam gave Dean a quizzical look, but didn't ask any further questions. He nodded at them before turning back to the TV.

Dean walked out of the apartment, twirling his keyring around his finger, Cas following close behind. When they got outside, Dean froze, "Cas. Tell me my car is still at Garth's place," he looked at Cas, terrified.

"So much for remembering everything last night," Cas mused, only answering when Dean looked like he was about to cry, "yes, Dean. Your car is at Garth's."

"I remember last night," Dean argued, following Cas in the direction of Garth's house. Cas snorted at Dean's comment, "well, I remember the important stuff," he nudged Cas, winking.

"Good answer," Cas snorted, turning down Garth's street, "there's your car," he pointed down the street, to the familiar, black Impala.

"Baby!" Dean jogged down the street to his car, inspecting every inch of it before turning to Cas, who was watching him, "I had to make sure she was okay," he added, unlocking the door and getting in, "I need to make a quick stop before we eat," he reached over and unlocked Cas' door before starting the car.

"Where?" Cas picked a tape up off the seat and read the tracks.

"Special spot. I think I left my wallet," Dean sped through town, glancing over at Cas perusing the tape, "you like Billy Joel?"

"Yeah," Cas put the tape back down, "I didn't peg you as a Billy fan though."

"Have you heard him play piano?" Dean turned down the back road to the special spot, "I can't believe there are people who don't respect Billy Joel."

"Your taste in music is surprising," Cas grinned at Dean.

"Music is the only thing that makes sense to me anymore," Dean pulled into the dirt lot and shut the car off, "ever since my mom left, I guess music was always there for me, you know?"

Cas nodded, "I'd like to see your music collection. I'm intrigued," he got out of the car and followed Dean up the hill to the overlook. Something caught his attention, "Dean, your wallet is in your coat pocket."

"So it is," Dean walked out into the clearing, automatically grabbing his guitar, "I just thought that since we needed to talk in private," he shrugged, "no one will bother us here."

Cas felt his cheeks burning as memories from the previous night came flooding back, "why don't you tell me what happened at the party?" he sat next to Dean, who was already finger-picking a familiar tune that Cas couldn't put his finger on. He needed to know what it was, "what song is that?"

Dean stopped playing, his cheeks flushed pink, "Jo was drunker than I was," he avoided Cas' question about the song, which he refused to admit was 'Your Song' by Elton John, "I was drinking a bottle of wine and she started nagging me because I was being anti-social or something," Dean rolled his eyes, "she told me to stop moping about you not being there."

"Were you really moping?" Cas smirked, "That's a little pathetic."

Dean continued, as if Cas hadn't said anything, "so I told Jo to stop bitching. One thing lead to another and," he made an explosion sound, using his hands to emphasize, "she just flipped and said if I loved you so much, I should be your boyfriend."

Cas frowned at Dean, "you need to talk to Jo."

"Not until we're done here," Dean lazily strummed the strings of the guitar, "you should say something now."

"I want to know what this is," Cas picked a dandelion and twirled it between his fingers, "you said a lot of stuff last night, you know."

"Cas," Dean sighed, "I can't just dump Jo and tell everyone I'm queer. I'm the quarterback..."

"I'm not saying you have to," Cas interjected, "and honestly, I'd rather not go public yet either," he hugged his knees to his chest, "does that mean we're going to pretend that last night didn't happen?" he glanced at Dean, his brow furrowed.

"We just need to keep it a secret," Dean put the guitar down, and scooted closer to Cas, "just until we're both ready."

"So no repeats of last night, then?" Cas relaxed a little when Dean laughed at his question.

"I never said that. We just need to be careful and not get caught," he grinned mischievously, "our romantic, secret affair."

"Suggesting you cheat on your girlfriend with me isn't romantic, Dean," Cas shook his head sadly, "I like you, but that's wrong."

Dean was thoughtful for a moment, "well, how about we just spend private time together, like, in secret," he waggled his eyebrows, "besides, it's only cheating if you fuck someone," he added in an after thought.

"You're too nonchalant about polygamy," Cas felt Dean's arm around him, "I'm not going to let you hurt Jo," he said firmly, shivering when Dean ran his fingers over his hand.

"We've already kissed," Dean reminded him, "if we keep it on the hush-hush, we'll be fine. No one's going to get hurt."

"Promise me, Dean."

Dean rested his head on Cas' shoulder, "I promise, Cas."

\- - -

**Halloween. 1975.**

Over the next month, leading up to Halloween, Cas and Dean played it cool. Dean made up with Jo and they acted like nothing had happened. Cas saw Dean as much as he could, without making anything look suspicious. He felt guilty about seeing Dean behind Jo's back, but he refused to fool around when they did see each other so he could justify seeing Dean in the first place. 

It was Saturday morning, and Cas was knee-deep in potential Halloween costumes. There was a huge costume party at Adam's house; his parents were in Thailand for their wedding anniversary, so, naturally, his house was volunteered for the festivities. Normally, Cas avoided parties, more so after the Homecoming fiasco. He really had no desire to go to this party, but Dean practically begged him and he just couldn't say no.

Cas held up a white, collared shirt, sighing, "why did I agree to this?" he mumbled, throwing the shirt on his bed. There was a soft rap on the door, "come in," he said, poking through the pile of clothes.

Anna opened the door and peeked in, "what are you doing?" she asked, stepping over a pair of trousers to sit on Cas' bed. 

"The party I stupidly agreed to go to requires a costume," Cas rolled his eyes, "I'm awful at Halloween costumes."

Anna stood up, "I have an idea," she left the room for a minute before reappearing with a wig and pair of circle-framed sunglasses, "John Lennon," she said proudly, beaming.

Cas took the wig, "I'm glad you're creative," he looked in the mirror, putting the wig on, "where'd you get this wig?"

Anna giggled, "I bought it for a play I was in a few years ago," she put the glasses on Cas, "all you need is a nice pair of slacks and shirts. You'll totally look like circa 1965 Lennon."

"I still don't understand why dressing up in costume at this age is so popular," Cas complained, "I should have said no to Dean."

Anna untangled a knot in the wig, "maybe I shouldn't say anything, but, Dean has talked about nothing but this party since you said you'd go," she smiled, noticing Cas' cheeks go pink, "he's so fond of you, Cas. He literally doesn't shut up about you when we work the same shift."

"Really?" Cas took the wig and glasses off, putting them down on his bureau, "I'm surprised he's not sick of me yet. I see him more than anyone."

"You two do spend a lot of time together," Anna looked at Cas expectantly.

"Dean has a rough time with his Dad. I don't mind spending time with him," Cas shrugged, avoiding Anna's gaze.

"Cas!" Gabe's voice echoed down the hall, "Dean's here!"

"Speaking of the devil," Anna winked at Cas before leaving the room.

Cas could hear Dean chatting with Anna out in the parlor as he quickly tried to fix his hair. He glanced in his mirror just in time to see Dean closing his door, "sure, come right in, Dean," he gave Dean a mock-angry look.

Dean crossed the room to Cas, "what a mess," he was smirking and smelled faintly of cheap beer.

"I thought you were coming later," Cas walked around Dean, tidying up his clothes, "and I also thought you weren't drinking anymore."

Dean folded his arms, looking suddenly sad, "I would have called, but my dad," he sighed, taking a seat on Cas' bed, "he's having a bad day."

Cas tossed his clothes in the closet and joined Dean, "do you want to talk about it?"

Dean pulled up the sleeve of his leather jacket, revealing a circular burn on his forearm, "he caught me drinking one of his beers."

"Let me see," Cas gently pulled Dean's arm closer to get a better look, "did he put a cigar out on your arm?" he asked, horrified, "You really need to clean this...it's going to get infected."

"It's no big deal," Dean yanked down his sleeve, flinching when the fabric brushed along the burn, "if I'm intruding on you here, I can go. I just thought..." he glanced at Cas, sighing again, this time a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"What?" Cas' mouth was dry and his heart was racing. This was nothing new. He always felt a little nauseous when he was close to Dean. 

The smile overtook Dean's face, "never mind," he got up and turned his attention to the wig on the bureau, "what are you dressing up as?" he snorted, putting the wig on, "how do I look?"

"If a Barbie and Joe Cocker had a love child, you'd be it," Cas snickered, walking over to Dean to grab the wig back, "Anna gave this to me so I could dress like John Lennon."

"Wait, did you just call me a drug addicted Barbie doll?" Dean feigned offense before turning back ot Cas, "you know, Lennon's my favorite Beatle."

"I always pegged you as a Paul man," Cas ran his fingers through the wig, "I'm biased though. I've had a thing for Paul since I was 12."

"Paul's got the looks, but Lennon has soul," Dean sat back down on the bed, "you'll be teasing me all night, dressed like John."

Cas raised an eyebrow, "well, it's a good thing you'll have Jo to keep you busy then."

"I'd much rather you keeping me busy," Dean muttered.

"You know how I feel about all this," Cas warned, "Jo's a good person...she'll understand if we tell her, you know."

"Cas," Dean flopped down on his back, hugging a pillow to his chest, "I promise we'll tell her...just not yet."

"I don't care if we're public," Cas leaned on his bureau, "I just can't keep lying to Jo."

"Lying? We haven't done anything," Dean exhaled dramatically, sitting up, "you know we haven't done anything."

"And it's staying that way until you tell Jo about us," Cas said firmly, and that was that. He had morals and wouldn't go against them, even for Dean Winchester. 

After Cas dropped the subject, the remainder of the afternoon was spent watching TV and getting ready for the party. Since Dean refused to risk going home, he used some of Gabe's hair pomade and slicked his hair back, calling himself a greaser. Cas caught himself staring more than once. But it was okay, because he caught Dean staring once he was in costume. 

"So, I told Jo we'd meet her at the party," Dean looked at the wall clock, "want me to drive?"

"And have you risk your dad putting out another cigar on your arm?" Cas folded his arms, "I know you're going to be drinking too. Maybe we should walk."

"Maybe you're right," Dean pulled a flask out of his jacket, "you drinking tonight?" he offered it to Cas.

"You know I don't drink," Cas put the circular sunglasses on, "after seeing you at Homecoming, I think one of us needs to stay coherent."

\- - -

The walk to Adam's house was uneventful. When they reached the house, people were already loitering about, and music was blaring inside. Dean walked in, already tipsy from dibbing into his flask, and greeted everyone. Cas stayed close behind, following Dean into the kitchen, where Jo was sitting on the counter, wearing a pink poodle skirt. She waved excitedly when she way them.

"It's about time you two showed up," Jo slid off the counter and stood on her tip-toes to kiss Dean, "you look like James Dean, babe," she mused, turning to Cas, "Lennon?"

Cas nodded, "nice skirt," he grinned at her.

"It was my mom's in the fifties," Jo curtsied and laughed, "it's so weird to wear something that used to be fashionable, as a costume."

"One day, people are going to wear our fashions as costumes," Cas chuckled, "I wonder what clothes will look like in the future."

"Who cares," Dean draped his arm around Jo's shoulders, "we came here to party! Let's party!"

"How much has he had?" Jo asked, grabbing her drink off of the counter.

"Whatever was in the flask," Cas watched Jo down the whole glass of clear liquid, "are you drinking straight vodka?"

"Rum. Do you want some?" Jo's cheeks were rosy, and she was still grinning.

"Cas doesn't drink," Dean pulled Jo into another kiss, glancing at Cas as their lips met, "let's go dance, baby."

Jo reached for Cas' hand, "come dance with us," she pulled him into the parlor, where about twenty people were already drinking and dancing. 

Cas watched Dean drag Jo out onto the makeshift dance floor. He couldn't dance and was perfectly content being a wallflower. Most of the people at the party knew Cas by association to Dean, but no one went out of their way to talk to him. He was quickly beginning to feel out of place. 

After a while, Cas lost track of Dean and Joe- they left the parlor and didn't come back. That was an hour ago. Cas tried to avoid thinking about what they were doing as he sat down on one of the sofas. He noticed a dish of candy corn on the coffee table and couldn't resist taking a handful. 

"Hey there, Cas," a familiar voice made Cas jump, since this was the first time anyone other than Dean or Jo had spoken to him all night.

"Meg? What are you doing at a high school party? I thought you were in college," Cas offered her some candy corn.

"Gabe dragged me here to pre-game the rager at the Delta Rho house later," Meg took a single candy corn, "these taste like crap. I don't know why people love them."

"They taste like honey," Cas popped a few candies in his mouth.

Meg pulled a face, "they're all yours then," she flicked her candy corn on the floor, "so where's your boyfriend?"

"What?" Cas cocked his head to the side, "Dean?" Meg snorted at Cas, "he's with his girlfriend. They kind of disappeared on me, actually," Cas shrugged, "I've been sitting here eating candy. I don't really care where they went. The longer they can keep their drunk selves occupied, the better," Cas chuckled, "where's Gabe?"

"He said he had to water the lawn," Meg said, using air quotes, laughing before looking out the window, "oh shit," she got off the couch and ran over the the window, "Gabriel Novak, put your damn pants back on!" she yelled, glancing back at Cas, "a little help?"

"Just tell him you're going to call Anna," Cas wasn't going to look outside. He's seen Gabe's naked ass more times than he could count, and he tried to avoid it if at all possible. There was already a crowd forming at the window, cheering Gabe on. 

Cas took the distraction as an opportunity to find Dean and Jo. People were starting to get extremely drunk, and he assumed Jo and Dean would be just as bad. If not worse. It was getting close to midnight, and Cas was starting to feel tired as he made his way to the kitchen. 

Adam was shotgunning a beer with Mike and a few other football players- all ironically dressed as basketball players. Adam noticed Cas and waved him over, speaking once he finished his beer, "Dean was looking for you, man," he belched and crushed the can on the counter, "Jo had too much rum."

"Where are they?" Cas eyed an unopened beer on the sink.

"Probably in the upstairs bathroom," Adam nodded to the beer, "want a bud, Cas?"

"Oh, I don't-"

"It's one beer. Live a little," Mike interrupted, clearly already trashed.

"Don't be such an asshole," Adam punched Mike's arm, "you don't have to drink if you don't want to."

"I think I _will_ have one," Cas grabbed the beer and cracked it open. It tasted horrible, but he forced himself to drink it in one go, so he wouldn't have to savor it. He gagged when he finished, "how can you drink this?" he croaked, cringing when he burped. 

"Jelly shots are better," Adam walked over to the fridge and pulled out a sheet pan stocked with tiny paper cups, "try some of these."

"What are they?" Cas examined the cups.

"Vodka and Jell-O," Adam put the pan down and helped himself to a red jelly, swirling his finger around the cup before slurping the mixture down, "tastes like cherries."

Cas reluctantly took one, copying Adam's method of eating it, "these have vodka in them?" he helped himself to another, "I like these."

"Help yourself, buddy," Adam had two more before he heard a commotion in the parlor and went to check it out, Mike close in tow. Cas couldn't help but chuckle at Adam being the new Dean for Mike. 

After three more jellies, Cas made his way up to the bathroom, hoping Jo was alright. He didn't mean to drink, it just kind of happened. And his head was spinning now. He found it difficult to focus as he walked up the stairs to the second floor. 

Upstairs was much less crowded than the main floor. There were curious sex sounds coming from behind a lot of the closed doors, but he managed to find the bathroom when he heard Jo's voice.

"I'm not drunk," Jo's speech was slurred and she sounded belligerent.

"Baby, you need to go to bed," Dean sounded just as drunk, but that wasn't surprising to Cas. He knocked on the door, "occupied," Dean called from inside.

"It's me," Cas jiggled the door handle impatiently, "let me in."

The door clicked open and Cas walked in, shutting it behind him. Jo was sitting on the floor, hugging the toilet. Dean was holding a beer with one hand, and Jo's hair with the other, as she gagged into the toilet, "it's okay, let it out," he cooed, taking a pull off his beer.

Cas leaned against the wall, "is she, okay?" he was finding it more and more difficult to act sober. His head was swimming.

"She needs to go to bed, but she's being a pain in the ass," Dean laughed, putting his beer down on the sink, so he could hand Jo a tissue to wipe her mouth, "isn't that right, sweetheart?"

Jo flipped Dean off, "I can't drive," she said finally, resting her cheek on the toilet seat, "Cas, will you drive me home? My boyfriend is drunk."

"I...I can't," Cas felt his cheeks burning, "my brother and Meg are here...I think Meg drove," Cas grabbed Dean's beer and took a sip, "they could drop you off at home before the frat party they're going to."

Jo nodded, her eyes lidded, "you're the best, Cas."

"Since when do you drink?" Dean watched Cas take another sip of beer.

"Since you and Jo disappeared," Cas knelt next to Jo, "Dean and I will help you downstairs, " he hoped he wouldn't regret his decision to be helpful. Vodka jelly was a bad choice- he couldn't think clearly.

Surprisingly, it wasn't difficult to get Jo into Meg's car. They ran into her on their way downstairs, and Meg thankfully helped them walk Jo outside. Gabriel, on the other hand, had to be physically shoved into the car and strapped in because he claimed he hadn't pre-gamed enough. Megan finally got Gabe situated before saying good night to Cas and Dean. 

After Meg left, Dean nudged Cas, "you're drunk," he was grinning wolfishly.

"Like you're not," Cas snorted, watching Meg's car disappear around the corner, "do you want to stay?" he asked, turning to face Dean.

"Whatever you want," Dean wavered a little where he was standing, "let's go sit in the gazebo," he quickly glanced around before grabbing Cas' hand, pulling him toward the backyard.

Cas let Dean lead him to the gazebo in the backyard. It was hidden by a large willow tree, "why are we going back here?" the cool, autumn air was refreshing against his burning skin, though it didn't really help sober him up any faster. 

"We can't be alone in there," Dean stepped into the gazebo and looked around at the ornate trellises, "freakin' rich kids," he mused.

"Maybe we shouldn't be alone," Cas watched Dean running his hand along the painted wood, "you don't behave when you're drunk."

"You're drunk too, remember?" Dean strolled over to Cas, trying to be cool, but he tripped and stumbled forward, knocking both of them on the ground, "ow, fuck!" he shifted so he was straddling Cas, "are you okay?" he asked, trying not to laugh.

"I'm drunk?" Cas gently shoved Dean, "get off," he tried to sit up, but Dean didn't move. Instead, he leaned forward and pressed his lips against Cas', causing Cas to inhale sharply, "Dean..."

"Cas," Dean whispered, running his thumb along Cas' lips, "do you believe in true love?"

"I believe I'd love it if you got off of me," Cas said gruffly, biting his lip.

"Sorry," Dean carefully stood up and offered Cas his hand, "I wanted to do that all night."

"Knock me on the ground?" Cas scoffed, brushing himself off. He wouldn't look at Dean because he felt those jade eyes bearing into him.

"I said I was sorry about that," Dean reached for Cas' hand, "why are you being like this?"

Cas sighed, "I'm afraid, okay?" he admitted, finally caving and looking at Dean.

"What?" Dean pulled Cas into a hug, "why are you afraid?" he asked, "I didn't mean to scare you."

"I'm not scared of you," Cas relaxed into the embrace, "I'm scared of this...whatever it is."

Dean let him go, "what do you mean?"

"I'm afraid to give in to whatever this is," Cas turned away from Dean, "I'm just...afraid," he was being redundant, but his drunk mind couldn't think of another word for 'afraid.'

"You don't have to be afraid," Dean touched Cas' shoulder, "we're alone here. Just you and me. Talk to me, buddy."

"Can I ask you something?" Cas still didn't look at Dean. He was transfixed on a moth bobbing around one of the lawn lights.

"Anything," Dean's voice was barely a whisper.

"Why me?" Cas still didn't understand why Dean chose him. Dean could have any woman (or man) and Cas was baffled as to why Dean would choose someone so...average.

"You're special," Dean said without hesitation, "I knew it from the second I saw you in Bobby's class," he squeezed Cas' shoulder, "I guess I'm also a sucker for baby blues, and yours are..." Dean walked in front of Cas, tilting his head up so he could see his eyes, "beautiful," he breathed, reaching up to caress Cas' cheek.

Cas leaned into the touch, closing his eyes, "why does everything have to be so complicated?" he murmured, feeling a lump in his throat.

Dean pulled Cas close with his free hand, "I think you just have to work hard to achieve something you really want," Dean wiped a tear from Cas' cheek with his thumb, "my mom used to tell me that things would work out in the end...and if things haven't worked out, it isn't the end. So things will be okay, I promise," Dean kissed Cas' forehead, "it'll be worth it in the end."

"What do we do until then?" Cas opened his eyes, feeling fresh tears threatening to spill out.

"The best we can," Dean smiled, "now cheer up, it's Halloween."

"I think I just want to go to bed," Cas was feeling his eyelids drooping, partially from his lack of sleep, but mostly from the vodka.

Dean chuckled, "I'll walk you home," he let his hand linger on Cas' cheek for a moment before dropping it, in favor of holding Cas' hand, "is there anyone to tuck you in at home?"

"I'm drunk, not five years old," Cas followed Dean out of the gazebo, glad Dean didn't walk through the party again to say goodbye to everyone.

Dean hummed to himself as they walked up the sidewalk, hand-in-hand. They let go only when a car drove by, or someone passed them walking, but somehow their hands always gravitated back to one another. Cas couldn't help but smile.

"Here we are," Dean walked Cas inside the building, "is Anna working the diner tonight?" he asked outside the apartment.

"Anna's out with her old college buddies," Cas pulled the apartment key out of his pocket, "but she'll be home soon. She works in the morning," he unlocked the door, "are you going to be alright walking home?"

"I will be once I know you're safe in bed," Dean followed Cas into the pitch black apartment.

"You're not tucking me in," Cas tripped over something in the dark and cursed before finding the light switch, "that was much more difficult than it usually is."

"I'll get you some water, buddy. Why don't you get ready for bed?" Dean shooed Cas to his room and walked into the kitchen.

Cas was too tired to argue. He walked down to his room and kicked off his shoes and pants before sitting on his bed, thankful he'd forgotten to shut his lamp off. With some difficulty, he unbuttoned his shirt and cocooned himself in his blanket by the time Dean arrived with a glass of water and a plate of crackers.

"If you feel sick, the crackers will help," Dean set the plate and cup on the nightstand, "do you feel sick?" he sat on the edge of the bed.

"I'm just tired," Cas hugged his pillow- it still smelled like Dean's cologne from earlier, "you didn't have to put me to bed."

"I know," Dean reached over and took Cas' wig and sunglasses off and put them at the foot of the bed, "I just wanted to make sure you were good, man."

"I'm fine," Cas insisted, smiling tiredly at Dean, "I'd just like to sleep."

"Goodnight, Cas," Dean leaned over and kissed Cas on the cheek before reaching for the lamp.

"Wrong," Cas mumbled, frowning.

Dean laughed, confused, "what?"

"That goodnight kiss was wrong," Cas sat up, feeling bold all of a sudden. He grabbed the front of Dean's shirt, tugging him closer, "all wrong," he pressed his lips against Dean's, "much better," he kissed Dean again, lingering longer than before before sitting back, smiling and nodding to himself, "goodnight, Dean," he laid back down, his pulse pounding in his ear. He'd never been the one to initiate a kiss. He was reeling. 

Dean stared at Cas, dumbfounded for a moment before ruffling Cas' hair, "sweet dreams," he shut the lamp off and got off the bed, walking to the door. He started to close it but he heard his name.

"Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

"Anytime, Cas."

Dean left without another word. It didn't take Cas long to fall asleep, and the smile never left his face. He knew he'd remember this Halloween forever.


	6. All The Best Blizzards Involve Elton John

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With a blizzard rolling in, Cas was prepared for a nice, quiet night alone in the apartment. What he didn't expect was Dean showing up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on fire with this! Expect updates more often.
> 
> Thank you, thank you for all the support in the form of kudos, bookmarks and comments. I love this fandom to pieces. You're all wonderful!

**November, 1975.**

After Halloween, everything seemed to change between Dean and Cas. They were still secretive about seeing each other, but the time they spent together was quickly becoming more passionate. Cas tried to avoid kissing Dean, but his lips were addictive. He couldn't hide how he felt anymore. It wasn't worth it to hold back. He did feel bad about going behind Jo's back...but at the same time, he didn't even think about Jo when he was with Dean. And judging by the way Dean acted around him, he forgot about Jo when he was with Cas.

The third week of November was bitterly cold. Snow flurries happened almost daily and there was a blizzard forecasted to hit. Gabriel had plans to spend the blizzard with his steady girlfriend, Meg. Anna had to work, but she was going to spend the night at her coworkers apartment that was above the tailor shop because there was no way the Chevette would deal with snowy roads.

Cas, on the other hand, was going to walk around the apartment in his boxers, drinking coffee and watching whatever was on television. School had already been cancelled for the next few days, and with finals looming ever closer, Cas wanted to relax while he could. He had straight A's in school, so he wasn't overly concerned about finals, but he still had intentions of locking himself away for the first couple of weeks in December to study. Dean mentioned wanting to study with him, but Cas knew studying wouldn't happen with Dean.

The sky was overcast when Cas woke up, a few snowflakes were spitting but the storm wasn't going to roll in until later in the afternoon. He walked down to the corner shop to pick up a few snacks and some Coke to last him through the snow before heading back to the apartment to hunker down until the snow started. He hated snow, but at least he wouldn't have to go out in it. 

By noon it was starting to snow steadily. Cas was lounging on his bed, reading a Hunter S Thompson book. He glanced out the window, a gust of wind catching his attention. Sighing, he put the book down and walked over to the thermostat, turning it up a couple of degrees. The apartment was drafty and one thing he hated was being cold. He liked snuggling up in a blanket with a book and some coffee. It was one of those simple pleasures that helped him relax. 

Returning to his bed, Cas fluffed up his pillow and laid down, closing his eyes. He listened to the wind rage outside and was thankful he'd gone out before the snow hit. Walking around in a blizzard sounded like a horrible time and he genuinely felt bad for anyone who was stuck outside. But he could help feeling a little bit of schadenfreude for those people too, because he was nice and warm in his bed. He tried to stay awake, but he was so cozy that he drifted off into a cat nap.

Cas hadn't been asleep long before a tapping on his window woke him up. He stretched, almost cat-like, opening his eyes to look out his window. The last thing he expected was to see Dean standing there, "Dean?" Cas cocked his head to the side.

"Let me in," Dean pointed to the front of the building.

Cas climbed out of bed and went to unlock his apartment door. He opened it, poking his head out as Dean walked into the building, "what the hell are you doing?" he asked, letting Dean inside, "It's awful out there."

"Yeah, well it's better than being home," Dean was covered in snow and his cheeks were bright pink, "fuck that place," he walked into the apartment, putting down his backpack and guitar case on the sofa, "jeez, it's cold."

Cas took Dean's jacket and hung it in the hall closet, "what happened at home?" he asked, walking into the kitchen to make a pot of coffee.

Dean followed Cas, leaning up against the counter, "I didn't want my guitar to get ruined in the snow, so I brought it home," he explained, rubbing his hands together in an attempt to warm up, "I thought my dad was spending the night elsewhere."

Cas set up the coffee pot before turning to Dean, he noticed a purple bruise on Dean's cheek, "what's that?" he went over to Dean and gently touched the swelling, "did he do that to you?" he asked, dropping his voice.

Dean looked away, "I shouldn't have brought the guitar home," he mumbled, closing his eyes as Cas pressed a kiss to the bump that was rapidly growing on his cheek, "sorry I didn't call."

"I'm glad you came," Cas murmured, letting his lips linger on Dean's cheek. He wasn't going to pry for information. Dean didn't like talking about his dad, and Cas was alright with that. 

"You home alone?" Dean pulled Cas closer to him, brushing his fingers under the back of Cas' shirt, making Cas jump.

"Your hands are freezing," Cas complained, swatting at Dean's hand, "you're welcome to bunk here until the snow ends. Anna and Gabe are staying somewhere else tonight."

"Good," Dean kissed the tip of Cas' nose, "I was planning on it."

"I'm glad you waited for an invite," Cas chuckled, wriggling out of Dean's grip to get mugs, "cream and sugar?" he asked, pouring the coffee into the cups.

"I can make it," Dean joined Cas, spooning sugar into his cup, "you know, I've been working on a surprise for you," he said, changing the subject as he poured some cream into the coffee, turning it a caramel color.

"A surprise?" Cas raised an eyebrow, taking the cream from Dean, "Should I be afraid?"

"Nah," Dean stirred his coffee before dropping the spoon in the sink, "I should be though. You might hate it."

"I doubt that," Cas put the cream back in the fridge, "what kind of surprise is it?"

"You'll have to wait until my hands thaw out," Dean grinned, holding his mug close to him, "I need my hands for the surprise."

"I'm not sure I want this surprise," Cas admitted, his mind automatically straying to things Dean could surprise him with his hands. He cleared his throat, trying to distract himself from the possibility of a handjob. 

"Don't be a pervert, Cas," Dean laughed, walking back out into the parlor, making himself at home on the sofa.

"I...wasn't," Cas lied, sitting down next to Dean. 

"Yes you were," Dean put his mug down on the coffee table, "I know that your mind is wandering when you clear your throat like that."

"How could you possibly know that?" Cas put his cup down next to Dean's, so he could fold his arms.

"I know you," Dean reached over Cas and grabbed his guitar. 

Cas exhaled, relieved that Dean was talking about his guitar, "what have you been working on?" he asked, watching Dean open the case.

"Patience," Dean took his time tuning the guitar, half-smiling at Cas shifting impatiently next to him. He strummed a few chords to warm up, "maybe I'll wait a little longer."

"The anticipation is killing me," Cas scooted close to Dean, leaning over to kiss his cheek again, "tell me the surprise."

Dean lazily strummed a few more chords, "you're going to laugh at me," he adjusted his C string, strumming a few more times before he was happy with the sound.

"I would never laugh at you," Cas frowned, but quickly grinned, "well, maybe I would."

"And people call me an asshole," Dean plucked a few strings, humming along to the notes.

"You can be corny a lot of the time, Dean," Cas mused, chuckling to himself.

"Only with you," Dean rolled his eyes, "you bring out my inner-romantic."

"I thought you didn't do romance," Cas narrowed his eyes, a smile still evident on his face.

"Fireworks," Dean reminded him, "it's the fireworks." 

"Valid argument," Cas sat back, propping his legs up on the coffee table, careful not to knock the mugs over.

"Mhm," Dean was in the zone, finger-picking and strumming the guitar absentmindedly for a while, before starting the tune he played for Cas a few weeks back.  
Cas recognized the tune and his attention piqued. He was mesmerized by Dean's dexterity, but still couldn't put his finger on the song. The song continued and Dean was nodding his head along to the beat before starting to hum again. Slowly he started mouthing words, continuing to finger-pick the notes. Cas definitely knew the song and it was frustrating that he couldn't figure it out. It was on the tip of his tongue. The chords and notes were so familiar, but he couldn't bring himself to ask Dean what it was. He looked at peace playing the guitar, and Cas was smitten.

Dean's humming turned into murmuring along with the song, but Cas couldn't make out the words. He was being shy, as if he was ashamed to be playing such a beautiful piece of music. Risking a quick glance to Cas, a smile spread across his face as he started strumming chords again, " _I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind_ ," he sang quietly, " _that I put down into words...how wonderful life is, while you're in the world_."

Cas felt goosebumps erupt all over his body, "Dean..." he whispered, his mouth gaping. He was speechless. It was cheesy. Cas knew it and Dean knew it, but Cas couldn't stop a single tear from escaping. 

Dean stopped playing and looked at Cas, putting the guitar down next to the sofa, "I've been working on that for you," Dean was blushing, "sorry I can't write you a real song..."

"Shut up and kiss me," Cas sidled up to Dean, gently touching his bruised cheek.

Dean didn't hesitate at all. His lips were on Cas' in an instant, pulling Cas closer, "I think I love you," he said in a husky voice against Cas' mouth, before kissing him again. 

Cas melted into Dean's arms, his eyes closing as their lips moved perfectly in unison. They'd kissed before, but this kiss was different. The fireworks were there, but everything around them seemed to disappear. He shivered when Dean ran his hand down his arm, lacing their fingers together. Cas broke the kiss, his lips were swollen from the impromptu makeout session, "I love you too," Cas said finally, ignoring the uneasy feeling in the back of his mind about the backlash that could potentially occur if anyone found out about them. Sure, he loved Dean, but he just didn't know what to do now. 

Dean squeezed Cas' hand, sighing happily, "thank God. I was afraid you were going to call me a chump for learning an Elton John song to tell you how I feel," he chuckled, stealing another kiss, "I'm almost glad my dad clocked me one."

"If he touches you again," Cas started, but trailed off, frowning, "you shouldn't have to deal with that, Dean."

Dean let go of Cas' hand and shrugged, looking sullen all of a sudden, "this is nothing compared to the fit he's going to pull when he finds out that his son likes men," he got up, and strolled down the hall to Cas' room.

Cas watched Dean go, and decided to follow him. Dean was laying down on Cas' bed, facing the wall, "Dean?" 

Dean shifted and made room for Cas on the bed, "I'm fine," he mumbled, tugging a blanket up over his shoulders.

Cas walked over to the bed and sat down, "no you're not," he touched Dean's shoulder, "talk to me," Dean shook his head, so Cas laid down next to him, draping his arm around his chest, hugging him, "you can tell me anything, you know."

"He hates me, Cas," Dean said, his voice cracking, "I try to be a good son. I really do."

"You are," Cas kissed the back of Dean's neck, "you're such a good person and your father is stupid if he doesn't see that."

"I just want him to be proud of me," Dean was shaking, "but I'm not like Sam...school isn't my thing."

"You're a talented football player and musician," Cas ghosted his lips against Dean's neck, "I don't care if you're smart or dumb...you're my Dean and nothing is going to change how I feel," he smiled to himself, "you'll always have me. Forget your dad. High school is almost over and we can run away together."

Dean laughed, wiping his face with his hand before turning to face Cas, "you mean it?" he asked, his eyes still wet with tears.

"We can leave society," Cas wiped a stray tear from Dean's cheek, "live in the woods. Just you and me."

"I hate the woods," Dean smiled, "let's move to New York City. I can play my guitar and you can be my little housewife." 

"New York City," Cas nodded, "I like New York."

"You've been?" Dean looked impressed.

"I lived there for a short period of time with Anna and Gabe after our mom died," Cas remembered the bustling city. In a way he was glad to be in a rural area again, but sometimes he missed all the action and excitement of the city, "at least until Gabe got expelled for spiking the punch with LSD at a school dance."

"I wish I could say I'm surprised," Dean chuckled, caressing Cas' cheek, "it must have been hard to move all over though."

Cas leaned into Dean's touch, "it's nice to be somewhere permanently though," he said quietly, "I'm happy here. New York was nice, but I didn't really fit in anywhere. People thought I was odd because I liked to keep to myself. They never bothered to talk to me," Cas covered Dean's hand with his own, "not like you."

"Best decision of my life," Dean curled up against Cas' chest, "I knew you were special."

Cas kissed the top of Dean's head, tracing little circles on his back with his finger, "you're not so bad yourself," he whispered, closing his eyes. He was so content laying here with Dean, he could have easily fallen asleep like this.

"We need to tell Jo," Dean said after a long silence, his face still buried in Cas' chest, "I just don't know if I'm ready."

"Don't worry about that now," Cas pulled at the blanket, covering him and Dean, "let's just stay here until the snow ends. Just you and me, okay?"

"Just us," Dean exhaled, relaxing. He sounded exhausted, his voice was soft.

"Just us," Cas repeated, shifting into a more comfortable position, his arm still around Dean, "us...I like that."

"Has a nice ring to it," Dean hugged Cas, "can I spend the night?"

"You're not going out in the storm again," Cas said firmly.

"Good, because I'm beat," Dean said, yawning.

"It's so early," Cas noted, glancing at his alarm clock. It was barely eight.

"But I'm so comfortable. Don't make me move," Dean whined, squeezing Cas tighter.

"Whining is a mood killer," Cas lazily carded his fingers through Dean's hair.

"I haven't slept in days," Dean loosened his grip, "this is the most relaxed I've been in weeks."

"I was kidding," Cas bumped another kiss on Dean's head, "you can sleep. I'll be here when you wake up."

"Thanks, Cas," Dean breathed, shifting so he could lay on a pillow. His eyes were already closed. 

Cas watched Dean quickly fall asleep. He was beautiful when he was sleeping, a small smile on his lips as he breathed softly. Cas couldn't resist giving him a peck on the lips before relaxing and eventually falling asleep himself. 

When Cas woke up the next morning, the snow had stopped and Dean was gone. He rubbed his eyes, looking around, "Dean?" he got out of bed and walked out into the kitchen. There was a note on the fridge. He pulled it off and skimmed over it:

_Cas-_

_I had to get to work. Sorry I didn't wake you. You were sleeping like a baby. I'll see you at school tomorrow._

_I love you._

_Dean_

Cas hugged the note to his chest, grinning. It wasn't much of a love letter, but it was from Dean. He sighed happily, feeling more excited than usual for school. He knew nothing would change between them at school because they still had to keep their affair on the down-low, but he had a feeling Dean was getting closer to telling Jo. The hope of finally having Dean all to himself got him through the day. Sure, it might not be immediate, but one day, he was sure he and Dean would be together. It was simply meant to be and no one could convince him otherwise.


	7. The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As time goes by, Cas is getting sick of lying. His frustrations build up until it causes an argument between him and Dean, which then leads to an event no one could have anticipated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Dean gets hurt in this chapter. Bad. If you don't like reading that stuff, then maybe avoid this. 
> 
> Also: since I took forever to post a new chapter, I thought I'd make the climax chapter nice and long. Thanks again for all the support in the form of comments and kudos. I love you all.

In the weeks following the November blizzard, Cas and Dean saw little of one another. With finals coming up, as well at the approach of the winter holidays, they were so busy with school and work. However, Cas had a hunch that something was up with Dean- at school, Dean was incredibly nonchalant, even when he was alone with Cas. It was unnerving. 

Cas tried to be cool about it. He knew that Dean still wanted to keep everything on the down-low, but something wasn't right. Did Dean regret the things that were said during the blizzard? That thought alone made Cas begin to regret using that stupid "L word." Why did he have to go and tell Dean he loved him? Stupid, stupid, _stupid_.

The tardy bell rang, tearing Cas out of his thoughts. He glanced to Dean's still-empty desk; Dean had been late to Bobby's class a total of twelve times this semester, but he always seemed to mosey into class exactly four minutes after the bell, like clockwork. Cas would know. He kept track...not that Dean's attendance record was important or anything. Dean just fascinated Cas with every facet of his existence. Cas could try to deny being in love with Dean, but it would be a bold-faced lie.

After four minutes, Dean's desk was still vacant. Odd, Cas thought, maybe he's running late. It was the first class of the day and it was very likely Dean had just slept in. He never showed up to bring Cas to school, and the only other times it had happened was when Dean decided to sleep in. 

When nearly half an hour had passed, Cas was beginning to worry. Dean was never absent- or at least not without calling him or Jo first. Cas fidgeted anxiously in his seat, unable to concentrate on Bobby's discussion of "Hamlet." Something was wrong and Cas had to find out where Dean was. 

Bobby cleared his throat, snapping Cas back to the present, "you're excused, Cas," he said, nodding toward the door. Bobby could always tell when someone was under stress. He never had a problem excusing someone from class without question. That's probably why the student body all seemed to like Bobby.

"Thank you, sir," Cas grabbed his belongings and ducked out the back door of the classroom, careful not to interrupt anymore than he already did.  
Cas didn't even know where to start looking for Dean. He remembered Jo had a study first period, so he headed toward the library, hoping he was overreacting about Dean not showing up to school.

Jo glanced up when Cas walked into the library, she frowned slightly upon noticing how frantic Cas looked, "damn, Cas, what's wrong?" she asked, pulling out a chair for Cas, "you look like you're about to have a panic attack."

"Please tell me you know where Dean is," Cas declined the chair, "he never showed up to Bobby's class."

"What do you mean he never showed up?" Jo closed her notebook and put it in her backpack, "did he drink last night?" she swung her backpack over her shoulder.

"I don't know, I was studying," Cas raked his hands through his hair, "did you see Sam at all today?"

"I did. Sam's got a perfect attendance record, he never misses classes," Jo grabbed Cas' sleeve and pulled him out of the library, "so, where are we going?" she reached into her purse and pulled out her car keys.

"I think we should check his apartment first," Cas followed Jo toward the main entrance, "Jo, we can't just walk out-"

"My mom works here, leave it to me," Jo popped her head in the office, "Hi Doris, I need to pop out for a minute and drag my delinquent boyfriend out of bed, I won't be gone long," she said sweetly, laughing at the secretary's muffled response, "thank you, Doris. I'll check in when I get back," she shut the door and grinned at Cas, "the perks of being a teacher's kid," she strolled out of the building, almost cocky, to her car. 

Cas got into the passenger seat and Jo started the engine, "do you think he just slept in?" Cas asked, fiddling nervously with a strap on his backpack.

"Probably," Jo turned down Dean's street, "he usually parks there," she pointed to an empty spot, "but I see John's car, so he's definitely not home," she glanced at Cas, "plan B?"

"I might know where he is," Cas sighed, "but Dean might be upset if I bring you there."

"What?" Jo looked confused, taking a right onto Cas' street, "he has a secret spot he'll tell you about, but not me?" 

"I don't understand either. Dean's weird," Cas chuckled uncomfortably, "but, if you take a left at the end of my road and head toward the state forest, I can get you there."

Jo nodded, "I know that area," she turned left at the end of Cas' street and after a few minutes, Cas told her to take a right, "you're taking me out to the middle of nowhere. You're not going to murder me, are you?"

Cas snorted, "you know, I asked Dean the same question the first time he took me out here," he grinned at Jo, but something caught his attention, "hey...is that Dean walking?"

"Well, damn, I think it is," Jo slowed the car next to Dean, and had Cas roll down the window, "hey, handsome, how much?" she honked the horn.

Dean looked up, startled, "Jo? Cas?" his whole face was pink; he'd clearly been walking out in the cold for a while.

"Get in," Jo said sternly, "mind telling us why you aren't at school?"

"I could ask you the same thing, babe," Dean said coolly, getting into the car. He leaned over the seat and pressed a kiss to Jo's cheek before settling in the back seat, "hey, Cas."

"Hello Dean," Cas smiled shyly at Dean in the side rear view mirror.

"So, what's the excuse this time, Dean?" Jo prodded, speeding back toward town, "Forgot it was a school day?"

"I was cruising before school and ran out of gas. Didn't realize I was low," Dean rubbed his hands together, trying to warm up, "I've been walking for like an hour." 

Jo's expression softened, "that sucks, babe. I'm glad Cas came and told me you never showed up," she reached over and squeezed Cas' shoulder, "poor guy was worried sick about you."

"I wasn't that worried," Cas' cheeks ignited, "you're just never more than four minutes late and given your father's track record, I suspected the worst."

"Aren't I lucky to have such good friends? My guardian angels," Dean was grinning, "so, babe, can you cover our asses at school? Unless, of course, you want to play hooky with us," Dean waggled his eyebrows at Jo in the mirror.

"I'm not skipping classes. My mom will flip out," Jo slowed the car in front of Cas' apartment, "I'll just tell the office you're ill and needed Cas to take you to the doctor."

"You're the best, Jo," Dean leaned over the seat again to kiss Jo, "want to grab me after school so I can get some gas? Maybe I'll treat my woman to a burger," he winked.

"You certainly know how to charm a lady," Jo rolled her eyes, "I'll pick you up at 3:00, alright? You two truants have fun."

After Cas and Dean got out of the car, they waved at Jo before going inside the building. Cas unlocked the door and went inside, closing it behind Dean, "why were you out by your special spot?" he asked, taking off his jacket and draping it over the couch arm.

"My dad was shit-faced last night," Dean shrugged out of his coat, "the bastard told me I must be a fag for hanging out with you more than Jo," he held out his arm to Cas, revealing a series of bruises, looking like Dean had been grabbed, hard, "so I punched him."

"You...punched him," Cas raised an eyebrow, feeling even more of a burning hatred for John Winchester, "where was Sam?"

"Sam was spending the night at Jess' place," Dean walked toward Cas' room.

"Are you okay?" Cas followed Dean, watching him flop down on the bed. Dean hugged one of Cas' pillows to his face and rolled over to face the window. Cas sat down on the edge of the bed and touched Dean's arm; Dean was trembling, "I'm here, Dean. You're fine," Cas whispered, not sure of how to comfort Dean.

Dean didn't speak for a long time. Cas rubbed Dean's arm comfortingly, letting him cry. After an hour or so, Dean finally reached up and covered Cas' hand with his own, "thanks, Cas," he said weakly, turning back over to look at Cas.

Cas smiled, "are you going to tell me what's really wrong now?"

"I can't," Dean wiped his eyes on the back of his hand, "I'm just overtired, man. I'm a mess."

"I'm not surprised with all the hours you've been working. Why are you so desperate for money?" Cas folded his arms, "you're not in trouble, are you?"

"No, no," Dean sat up, "it's just...I wanted to surprise you with a trip to a real log cabin for Christmas. Sam already said he'd cover for us...I just can't afford it," Dean looked at Cas sadly, "I've been such a jerk lately, I know I have. I wanted to make it up to you."

"And here I was thinking you were upset about the whole...blizzard thing," Cas laid down on his back, stretching out his legs, "you know, you don't have to do anything for me this Christmas."

"I have to do something," Dean said stubbornly.

"All I want for Christmas is a nice, quiet night in with you," Cas blurted out before he could stop himself. 

"Well...my dad is expecting me and Sam to go to our mom's place for Christmas. I could always duck out and come here," Dean touched Cas' hand, "you said Gabe was going away with Meg, right?"

"Yeah," Cas watched Dean lace their fingers together, bringing Cas' hand to his lips. He shivered when Dean's lips brushed against his knuckles, "Anna's not going to be here either...but she won't care either way."

"I think she already knows about us," Dean murmured, letting his lips ghost along Cas' wrist. 

Cas closed his eyes, feeling Dean shift to kiss his cheek, "Anna has known about us since the beginning."

"You told her?" Dean let go of Cas' hand, frowning slightly.

"Actually, she told me," Cas looked at Dean, "apparently you spend a lot of time talking about me at the diner," Cas smirked at Dean, recalling the chat he had with Anna just a few days prior.

_"Hey Cas?" Anna took a seat at the kitchen table, stirring some cream in her coffee._

_Cas was in a bad mood. There was no sugar-coating it. Dean blew him off for their homework party and he was bitter about it. He didn't mean to be so grumpy about it, but Dean had promised him they'd spend the afternoon together, and never showed up. He looked up from his mug, "hm?"_

_"Is everything okay?" Anna looked worried, and exhausted. It was the first Saturday she'd had off in two months, and even though it was nearly two, she was still wearing pajamas._

_Cas shrugged, taking a sip of his own coffee, "I'm just in a bad mood," he mumbled, looking into his now empty mug._

_"I noticed," Anna reached behind her and grabbed the coffee pot, filling Cas' cup, "do you want to talk about it?" she asked, sitting the coffee pot on the table, "Gabe's out with Meg so you don't have to worry about him overhearing anything."_

_"I shouldn't talk about it," Cas sighed, "everything is complicated."_

_Anna reached across the table and touched Cas' hand, "I was a teenager once, Cas. You keep keep stuff bottled up. It's not healthy."_

_"I know, I just..." Cas raked his hand through his unwashed hair, brushing Anna off, "I just don't know where to begin."_

_"At the beginning, silly," Anna smiled at Cas, "is it about Dean?" Cas had to resist the urge to flinch at the mention of Dean's name, but Anna noticed his reaction, "I thought so. Talk to me, Cas."_

_Cas shook his head, "I can't," he wanted to tell Anna. He wanted to tell her everything, but he just couldn't. Everything was confusing and frustrating, he felt like the bile in his stomach was threatening to make an appearance._

_Instead of getting irritated by Cas' stubbornness, Anna giggled, "love is frustrating, isn't it?" she said, her smile never faltering._

_Cas looked at Anna, his eyes-wide, "I never said..."_

_Anna's expression softened, "you didn't have to, sweetie. I've known for a while, and I don't know why you're so worried about talking to me. I know you, Cas. You beat yourself up," she shook her head sadly, "the last time I saw you like this, I had to raid your bedroom for razorblades. I'm not letting you get to that level again, Cas."_

_Cas stared at Anna. It was rare that she called him out, and he knew he couldn't keep avoiding the subject with her. She worried about him, and he understood where she was coming from, but at the same time he kind of wished she would just leave him alone, "I don't know what to do about Dean," he said finally, feeling a lump rising up in his throat, "I was stupid to think he'd choose me over Jo. I believed him...and now...I just don't know."_

_"If you're this confused, think of how confused Dean must be," Anna took a sip of her coffee, looking thoughtful, "have you tried talking to him?"_

_Cas shook his head, "I hardly see him outside of class. He's been so busy with work and trying to spend time with Jo...I feel like I should just give up."_

_"Don't give up, Cas," Anna said firmly, "I know Dean loves Jo, but you're the one he wants. He never mentions Jo around me at work. It's always Cas this and Cas that," she smiled again, "just last night he was telling me that all he wanted for Christmas was to spend a nice day with you doing absolutely nothing. He misses you just as much as you miss him. Give it time."_

_Cas felt like he was going to cry, "he said that?"_

_Anna nodded, "he's crazy about you, little brother."_

_Cas finally smiled, feeling tears in his eyes, "he has a shitty way of showing it."_

_"Just talk to him, Cas," Anna got up, putting her coffee mug in the sink, before turning back to Cas, "now come here and give me a hug," she held out her arms._

_Cas chuckled, "do I have to?"_

_Anna walked over to Cas and hugged him from behind, "I love you, Cas. Don't forget that I'm here for you whenever you need me."_

_"Thank you, Anna," Cas turned so he could properly hug his big sister, "don't tell Dean I complained about him, okay?"_

_"My lips are sealed," Anna released Cas and pulled her hair back in a ponytail, using one of the rubber bands that were ever present around her wrists, "I'm going to work on my painting. If you need anything, you know where I'll be."_

_Cas nodded, watching Anna leave the kitchen. Truthfully, he felt a bit better. Anna always knew what to say to make him feel better. He was blessed to have such a wonderful sister._

"If you're worried about Anna saying anything, stop. I know my sister. I promise this secret is safe," Cas said, when Dean didn't speak, "not even Gabe will know."

Dean sighed, "I guess I can't be pissed," he brushed a few strands of hair from Cas' forehead, "Sam sorta 'told me' too."

Cas laughed, "what?"

"Back in freaking September, man," Dean shook his head, grinning, "all he said was 'so, uh, Cas, huh?' and I said yeah," he glanced at Cas, "Sam didn't question it and won't bring it up unless I do. He's good like that."

"I'm sure Jo will be fine too, you know," Cas suggested reluctantly, knowing Dean liked to avoid the topic. 

"I'm worried about everyone else," Dean admitted, sidling up to Cas, laying down, "I don't want either of us to get hurt," he cozied up to Cas' chest.

"So, you want to wait until after graduation," Cas said, sighing, "I understand."

"January first," Dean said suddenly, playing with a button on Cas' shirt, "new year, new us."

"You...you mean mean that?"Cas hugged Dean, "Are you sure?"

"That's what I was thinking about earlier. I'm sick of lying," Dean sat up a little, looking down at Cas, "less than a month and we'll have our happy ending."

Cas smiled, "promise?"

Dean leaned down as kissed Cas, "only if you promise to spend Christmas with me."

"No presents though," Cas pulled Dean in again, pressing their lips together, "we can be each other's present, so stop working yourself into the ground. Deal?"

"Deal," Dean winked at Cas, and for the first time in weeks, Cas knew everything was right in the world.

At least for now.

\---

**Christmas. Part A: Semester Endeth.**

Cas literally breathed out a sigh of relief as he strolled out of school on the last day of classes before Christmas break. He knew he'd passed all of his finals, but what he was actually stressed about was totally unrelated to school work. The affectionately named "Dean Dilemma' was a becoming a constant source of stress for Cas. He was at his wit's end. He physically could not continue maintaining the facade that he and Dean were just friends. He was done lying.

The plan to tell Jo was in motion. Dean was going to talk to her after the holidays, since her family was obsessed with spending holidays together and it was unlikely Dean would see her. Cas, however, was still thinking of a way to tell Gabriel.

Though Gabe had warmed up to Dean over the past few months, he was still wary about trusting him. Cas spend hours trying to think of a good approach to telling Gabe about him and Dean, but he was clueless. The fear of Gabe going after Dean made Cas nervous. Gabe wasn't violent, but that didn't stop him from being surprisingly intimidating for someone of his size. 

Cas instinctively made his way to Dean's Impala, a small smile playing his lips upon remembering he'd have Dean all to himself on the eight minute drive home. To his surprise, Dean was already sitting in the driver's seat.

"Since when do you beat me outside?" Cas quipped, getting into the passenger seat, "you okay?" his cheerful mood lessened when he noticed Dean hardly acknowledging him.

"It's just been a long semester, Cas," Dean said gruffly, starting the car.

Cas nodded, "at least it's over now," he reached over and touched Dean's shoulder, "are you sure you're okay?"

Dean hesitated for a moment, "yeah. I'm fine."

"If you say so," Cas wasn't going to argue. It wasn't worth starting a fight with Dean a few days before Christmas.

"How was your Trig final?" Dean asked, though he didn't seem even mildly interested.

"Fine," Cas shifted uncomfortably. He couldn't relax when Dean got like this. If he was patient, he knew Dean would tell him what the problem was, "I think I may have only gotten a B in Chemistry though. I'm always too concerned about Gabriel, I can't focus."

"Only a B? I'm surprised at you, that much be like an F in your mind," Dean chuckled to himself, but his expression remained stoic.

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Cas mumbled, not bothering to strike up a conversation. Dean wasn't interested, and, though reluctant, Cas accepted it.

The last two minutes of the ride home were spent in an awkward silence. When Dean pulled up in front of Cas' apartment building, he shut off the engine and reached over for Cas' hand, lacing their fingers together, "I'm sorry," he whispered, staring down at the steering wheel.

Cas squeezed Dean's hand, "there's nothing to forgive," he murmured, kissing Dean's knuckles.

A slow smile crept over Dean's lips, "thanks," he finally looked at Cas. He had dark circles under his eyes; one eye was puffy from a fading bruise Cas just noticed.

Ignoring the bruise, Cas forced himself to smile, "you're welcome, Dean."

"So...see you at Christmas?" Dean asked, glancing around before tugging Cas closer, their lips brushing.

"Christmas," Cas sighed happily, closing his eyes, letting Dean press their lips together for a moment before sitting back, "see you at Christmas," Cas grinned at Dean before getting out of the car, waving at Dean as he started the engine and took off around the corner. And that was the last he saw of Dean before Christmas. 

**Christmas. Part B: Before.**

Despite not hearing from Dean on the days leading up to Christmas, Cas was eager to spend some quality time with him. A nice, quiet night in. Gabe had gotten a fancy hotel up north with Meg for the holidays and Anna insisted she had plans when Cas mentioned Dean spending Christmas there. Cas felt guilty not spending Christmas with Anna, but she was adamant that Cas spend time with Dean. 

Cas wasn't sure when Dean was going to show up, but by dinner time, he began to get discouraged. He lounged on the sofa, reading some trashy romance novel that Anna had left on the coffee table. The popcorn he made sat, untouched, on a vacant couch cushion next to him. He sighed to himself out of frustration, just as a loud knock came on the door, making him jump, "coming," he choked, nearly tripping on his way to the door. His cheeks were flushed with embarrassment even though no one say him stumble over the edge of the rug, "hello, Dean," he said shyly, letting Dean in, "Merry Christmas!"

Dean rounded on Cas the moment the door was shut, pinning him against it as he crushed their lips together. Cas struggled for a moment, hitting Dean on the back to snap him out of it, "Merry Christmas," Dean was grinning wolfishly and winked at Cas before shrugging out of his leather jacket. 

"You're full of Christmas cheer," Cas mused, raising a quizzical eyebrow.

"Am I not supposed to be cheerful on Christmas?" Dean reached into his coat pocket and retrieved a small, rectangular box, "I know we said no presents, but I swear this didn't cost anything," he handed it to Cas, "but no peeking until tomorrow morning."

Cas inspected the poorly wrapped box, his curiosity burning a hole in his very being, "I feel bad I didn't get you anything," he frowned at Dean, "I should have known you wouldn't listen."

Dean laughed, "exactly, so who's really at fault here?"

Cas snorted, "touche," he took Dean's jacket and hung it up in the hall closet, "so...what's the plan?"

"I've heard blowjobs are all the rage," Dean was still grinning as he strolled over to Cas, kicking his shoes off.

"I'm not having this discussion until you talk to Jo," Cas closed the closet and folded his arms. 

Dean was smirking, "you do know what a blowjob is, right?"

"I'm not stupid," Cas rolled his eyes, "either way, it's not happening until you tell Jo about us," Dean sighed dramatically and Cas froze, "you're not having second thoughts, are you, Dean?" Cas asked, his eyes wide. 

Dean leaned against the wall, looking at the floor, "I don't know, man...my dad hates fags..."

"So this is about your father?" Cas shook his head, "You're here to dump me, aren't you?"

"Cas, don't-"

"Cas, don't _what_?" Don't be like this?" Cas threw his hands up in frustration, "I'm so stupid," he stormed off to the bathroom and slammed the door behind him.

Dean knocked on the door, "listen to me, Cas. I'm not here to-"

"No, you listen to me. First you were afraid to tell Jo, now it's all about your dad," Cas interrupted, his voice raised, "oh, and it was the whole school too. Dean, if you're too afraid to be with me, just say it. Stop making up excuses," he stared into the mirror, tears rimming his eyes.

"I love you, Cas," Dean jiggled the locked door knob, "isn't that enough?"

"How can you say you love me when you're still with Jo?" Cas snapped, "I hate to say it again, but you have to choose, Dean. It's her or me."

"Cas, it's compli-"

"It's always complicated with you," Cas pounded his fist on the sink, "you said it was complicated with Jo too," he shook the pain off his hand, "Dean, you're the one complicating things. It doesn't have to be like this."

"And you think it would be easier for me to just tell my dad and Jo and everyone?" Dean huffed loudly, "You think everything will be fine and dandy? Fuck, it must be nice to be you, Cas."

Cas unlocked the door and swung it open, "I never said that. You're making it complicated again. All I'm saying is you need to choose, because I'm done," Cas exhaled, closing his eyes, "I'm just...done."

"Do you want me to leave?" Dean asked quietly.

"I want you to figure out what you want, Dean," Cas opened his eyes, "just...promise me if you choose Jo, don't come back. Just leave me alone."

"You're really making me choose?" Dean rolled his eyes, tutting.

"I don't want any part of this if I'm going to be the man on the side. It's not fair to Jo or me," Cas said evenly, crossing to Dean. He gently caressed his cheek, "I wish I could be okay with everything the way it is...but it's wrong. I'm ashamed that I've lied for the sake of your reputation for as long as I have. I understand that-"

"How could you possibly understand?" Dean swatted Cas' hand away, "your family supports and loves you, man. You're not me. So shut up with the fake sympathy," he toed into his shoes.

"So, what, I call you out and now you're going to leave?" Dean ignored Cas as he grabbed his jacket, "you know what? Fine. Leave. But I'm done, Dean," Cas followed Dean to the door, "if you leave, don't expect me to be here for you ever again!" he screamed as Dean slammed the door.

Cas kicked the couch in a fit of rage, feeling his world crashing down around him. Searing pain shot up his leg as his foot came in contact with the wooden leg of the couch. He swore loudly, feeling tears in his eyes. By the time he'd stammered to his room, his chest was heaving with sobs. He's felt emotional pain in the past, but never like this. It was like the end of the world, but worse.

Collapsing down on the bed, Cas buried his face in a pillow, letting himself cry. He had nothing left to do but cry at this point. All of pent of emotions were coming out in the form of tears and quiet sobs and he couldn't stop it. 

So this was how their story ended. Dean was wrong about things being okay in the end. This isn't how it was supposed to end. Things weren't okay. Things were far from being okay.

**Christmas. Part C: After.**

After a while, Cas managed to cry himself to sleep. He'd been asleep for several hours when the phone rang, waking him up. His pillow was still wet with tears and general crying mess, "ugh," he mumbled, throwing the pillow on the floor before sitting up. He rubbed his eyes for a moment before realizing the phone was still ringing. He jumped up and went to answer it, "...hello?" his voice was hoarse from yelling.

"C-Cas?" It was Jo. Her voice was trembling.

"Jo?" Cas yawned, sitting on the arm of the sofa, "everything alright?" he turned the table lamp on and looked at the clock. It was after one in the morning.

"Cas, it's Dean," Jo choked out, he voice cracking when she said Dean's name.

"What about him?" Cas grimaced, still extremely angry from earlier.

"He...he," Jo sniffled, "Cas, he's not doing good. Cas..."

"What happened, Jo?" Cas felt his heart sink, "What happened to Dean?" he asked again, impatient.

"He was in an accident," Jo started crying on the other end.

"Shh, Jo, it's okay. Are you at Heaven Hills Memorial?" Cas expected the worst at this point. It was karma. It had to be.

"In the ICU waiting room," Jo said quietly, sniffing again, "we need you here, Cas."

"On my way," Cas hung up the phone and stepped into his sneakers, not even bothering with a coat as he ran out of the apartment and toward the hospital. He wanted to slap himself for not wearing a sweater or anything because it was frigid outside, be he kept running until he physically couldn't run anymore. Fortunately, the hospital was in sight because it was only a mile away.

Cas couldn't feel his hands or arms by the time he reached the hospital lobby. Ignoring concerned looks from the receptionists, he asked, panting heavily, where the ICU was, before jogging toward the elevators. His mind was in overdrive when the elevator doors opened. He stepped out and immediately heard Jo.

"Cas!" Jo ran over and flung her arms around Cas, her entire body shaking with sobs.

Cas rubbed Jo's back, "where's Dean?" he asked urgently.

Jo let go of Cas and tugged him to the waiting room, "they won't let us in until they stabilize him," she wiped her eyes, smudging her makeup. 

"What exactly happened? Why isn't his dad and Sam here?" Cas had so many questions, but he tried to tone it down for Jo. She was already upset and he didn't want to push her. 

"The hospital called me after they couldn't get a hold of John. Sam's at his mom's house. Thank god Dean keeps my number in his wallet," Jo grabbed Cas' hand, "they said he was in a pretty bad accident," she looked at Cas, "all I know is he crashed into a tree and almost went through his windshield," fresh tears were rimming her eyes, "he's been in critical condition since I got here an hour ago."

"Is he going to..." Cas couldn't bring himself to say it.

"They don't know yet," Jo sighed, "they won't tell me anything."

"Are you Dean Winchester's family?" an official-sounding voice made Jo and Cas jump.

"No, but I'm his girlfriend and this is his best friend," Jo squeezed Cas' hand, waiting for any information the doctor had, "Dean's family is away."

"Dean is stable for now," the doctor sat down next to Jo, "but, he's in a coma."

Jo covered her mouth, staring, bewildered, at the doctor. Cas tried to clear the lump in his throat, "a coma?"

The doctor nodded, looking sympathetic, "his head injuries were extensive and when something like this happens, the body's natural reaction is to turn off, so it can heal," he handed Cas a pamphlet, "that pamphlet explains everything." 

Cas put the pamphlet down, "will he ever wake up?" he asked, though he wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer.

"It's too early to tell. We need to wait for the swelling in his brain to go down," the doctor stood up, Jo and Cas following his lead, "if you'd like to see him, you can go in. We've moved him to a room," he looked at Jo and Cas, "I should warn you, he's in really rough shape."

"I don't care," Cas blurted out, pretending not to see the quizzical look Jo gave him.

"It's just down the hall, room 512," the doctor pointed to his left, "if you're able to get a hold of Dean's family, please have them check in," he left the room without another word. 

Cas pulled Jo down the hall, stopping in front of Dean's room, "it'll be okay, right?" he asked softly, his hand lingering a few inches from the door handle.

"I don't know," Jo said weakly, watching Cas' hand hesitate near the door knob.

Cas took a deep breath and opened the door, "oh god..." the sight he was faced with would haunt him for the rest of his life. 

Dean laid motionless on the hospital bed, hooked up to half a dozen beeping machines. His face was covered in cuts, makeshift gauze bandages and dried blood. Jo made a whimpering sound, "Dean?" 

Cas watched Jo run to Dean's side, collapsing into the chair next to the bed. He couldn't move. Dean looked so broken and Cas blamed himself for it. He said so much out of anger and frustration...and now he couldn't take it back. His legs felt weak, so he slowly slunk down to the floor, covering his face with his hands.

"Cas?" Jo crossed the room to Cas and knelt down next to him, "hey, it's okay," she hugged him, "we both can't cry," her voice cracked, "shh, it's okay."

"I told him if he left, I was done," Cas said miserably, leaning into Jo's embrace, "I never meant..." his voice trailed off.

"Dean brings out the worst in people sometimes," Jo kissed the top of Cas' head, "I've been in enough arguments with him to know."

"It's my fault he was driving," Cas couldn't stop shaking, "why did I have to be so selfish?"

"Is this about Dean being too much of a wimp to tell me he's gay?" Jo asked, raising an eyebrow.

"How..." Cas stared at Jo, "we were so careful."

"I've known since the moment I saw you two together," Jo stood up, offering her hand to Cas, "Dean never looked at me the way he looks at you."

"I wanted to tell you," Cas took Jo's hand and she helped him up, "but Dean kept putting it off." 

"No worries," Jo caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror on the wall and automatically started fixing her makeup, "I knew I was a cover for Dean. He thought he had me fooled," she wiped some eyeliner that was streaked across her cheek, "but one of the first things he said to me was about Paul McCartney's ass," she smiled sadly, "I guess you could say I've known for a while."

"Why did you play along?" Cas tipped his head to the side, "You knew it was just a lie..."

"He's my best friend," Jo sighed when she glanced at Dean, "you know how Dean's dad is. I was keeping Dean safe, you know, by being there for him however he needed me. What can I say? I love the bastard."

"I wish it didn't turn out like this," Cas mumbled, feeling even worse about the situation, "I tried to make him choose between you and me...why did I do that?" Cas raked him hand through his hair, "this is all my fault," he said again.

"Don't say that," Jo hugged Cas again, squeezing him as tight as she could, "accidents happen. This wasn't anyone's fault,," she ruffled Cas' hair and pushing him toward Dean's bed, "you say, just in case he wakes up."

"I doubt he'll wake up," Cas said sadly, risking a glance at Dean," you're leaving?"

"I need to track down John and call Sam," Jo walked to the other side of Dean's bed and grabbed his hand, "Dean, I'm going to let Cas stay with you, okay?" she leaned down and kissed the bandage over his forehead, "Cas'll take good care of you, I promise," she looked at Cas and smiled, before touching Dean's cheek, "have a nice nap, babe."

"I promise I'll call if anything changes," Cas pulled the chair closer to the bed and sat down.

"You'd better," Jo strolled over to Cas and bumped a kiss on the top of his head, "take care of yourself, Cas. I'll be back tomorrow."

Cas nodded, hardly paying attention to her, "I'll see you then."

Jo squeezed Cas' shoulder before heading to the door. Before walking out, she turned back to Cas, "hey."

Cas looked up, "yeah?"

"Merry Christmas, Cas."

"Merry Christmas, Jo."


	8. Complications and a Mix Tape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reality of everything that had happened begins to sink in for Cas. Dean's in a coma and there's a good chance that he may not come out of it. But he has to try to have hope. For Dean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took me forever to write because I rewrote it 5 times. I appreciate the constant pestering for new chapters- it really motivates me. Thank you for all your kind words, kudos and everything else. This fandom is my favorite. <3 
> 
> Also, if you like this fic, please read my others! And share this one. The more kudos I get, the quicker I'll be posting chapters. Just saying. ;)

After Jo left Cas alone with Dean, everything that had happened was beginning to sink in. Dean was in a coma, and Cas knew that it was entirely his fault. He picked the fight and Dean left. What made him feel worse was that he couldn't apologize because Dean wouldn't hear him now.  
Cas groaned miserably, leaning back in the uncomfortable hospital chair, "leave it to me to ruin Christmas," he mumbled, letting his eyes close, "I know you can't hear me, but I'm sorry, Dean."

"Visiting hours ended a while ago," a woman's voice made Cas jump.

"I...I just got here," Cas started to get up, "please, it's Christmas..."

The dark-skinned, heavyset woman smiled sympathetically, "your brother?" she had a soothing, kind voice.

Cas looked at Dean, "not in a family kind of way," he touched Dean's limp hand, "it's complicated."

The woman walked over to one of the monitors, "his vitals are much better than they were," she glanced at Cas, "what's your name, sweetheart?"

"It's Cas," he watched the nurse check the machines, "if I'm not allowed to be here, I can go..."

"Cas," the woman offered her hand, "I'm Missouri," she shook Cas' hand, "looks like your friend might be here for a while," she picked up the clipboard off of the hook on Dean's bed and began jotting down something.

Cas nodded slowly, "is there any chance he'll wake up?" he asked, curious as to what Missouri was writing down.

"I'm just his nurse, dear," Missouri hung the clipboard back up, "but I'll tell you what I told a family in your shoes: as long as you believe there's hope, there it."

"Should I have hope to begin with?" Cas sat back down, his eyes on Dean, "This is all like a bad dream."

"I've seen people survive worse," Missouri fixed the blanket covering Dean, "your friend almost died. I won't sugar-coat it. But," a smile played her lips, "he kept holding on," she looked at Cas, "it was like he was holding on. Maybe he has unfinished business. I think there's reason to believe he'll get better."

"Is it true he doesn't know we're here right now?" Cas hated to ask such daft questions, but he was enjoying Missouri's company. He didn't want to be alone right now. 

"They say coma patients don't know what's going on around them. But I've never been on a coma, so who knows. Maybe he's hearing everything we're saying," Missouri walked to the door, "you can stay as long as you want, sweetie. It'll be nice to have some company on Christmas."

Cas smiled tiredly, "I just want to stay until someone else comes to keep him company while I get some rest."

"I'll grab you a cup of coffee while I'm on my rounds," Missouri winked at Cas, "if anything changes with him, the call button is right there on the wall."

Cas thanked the nurse as she left him alone with Dean again. It was still dark outside and Cas was starting to feel his eyelids drooping. He glanced at the wallclock; it was nearly half past four in the morning. No wonder he was exhausted.

"Jo should be back in a few hours," Cas murmured to no one in particular. He grabbed Dean's hand, resting his chin on the metal bar that was still raised on Dean's bed, "I'm just going to rest my eyes for a minute, okay Dean? I'll be right here if you wake up," he yawned, closing his eyes, unintentionally falling asleep.  
\---

" _I fucking knew it,_ " a booming voice scared Cas awake, "god damn faggots!"

"Cut it out, Dad," a familiar voice followed the angry voice.

Cas let go of Dean's hand, which he'd fallen asleep holding. He stood up, knowing exactly who was outside the hospital room. He waited for the storm of Dean's father. It was unavoidable. He'd never met Dean's father, John, but he had a feeling it wasn't going to be a pleasant experience.

Sam walked into the room first, giving an apologetic, frightened smile to Cas before a tall, burly man stumbled in. Cas smelled alcohol and cigars immediately. The man narrowed his eyes maliciously at Cas, "so you're the queer who fucked up my son," he said, voice voice dripping in quiet rage.

"Dad!" Sam snapped.

"Shut your damn mouth, boy," John stammered a few steps closer to Cas, "just who the hell do you think you are?"

"I'm Castiel Novak, sir," Cas said stiffly, "Dean has told me so much about you," Cas added, forcing himself to control his smile when Sam snorted at his sarcasm.

"If you were my boy, I'd beat your ass for talking like that," John looked at Dean, "this is all your fault, isn't it?"

"Dean was driving, not me," Cas muttered, clenching his fists, "it was just an accident."

"And he's a liar too," John pulled a flask out of his coat and took a long pull off it, wiping his mouth on his sleeve, "a fag and a liar," he laughed darkly.

"Dad, stop it," Sam said sternly, "who gives a shit if Dean likes Cas? Being gay isn't the end of the world. At least they're not murderers or something. Dean's your son. Be a fucking dad for once," Sam looked furious.

"He's not my son," John turned to Sam, "car, now," he stomped out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

Cas stared, bewildered at the door, "Sam...I..."

"I'll talk to him. He's drunk. I just had to drive him here," Sam want over to Cas, "if it makes you feel any better, this was polite for him."

"I'm sorry for you and Dean," Cas frowned, "did he mean what he said about Dean not being his son anymore?"

Sam looked worried, "Dean's eighteen. My dad could use that against him," he sighed, "he told Dean a couple years back that if he messed up after he was eighteen, he was on his own."

"So, Dean's on is own," Cas leaned against the fall, fighting the urge to vomit, "and I have a feeling your father isn't going to change his mind."

"He might. I can be really persuasive," Sam smiled weakly, "don't worry about my dad now. I'll see what I can do. Just be here for Dean, okay?" he punched Cas' arm playfully, "you're the one Dean would want here anyway," he added smirking, "but you knew that already."

"I doubt that," Cas looked at the tiled floor, remembering the fight he'd had Dean the previous night, "he probably wouldn't be in a coma if it wasn't for me."

"Jo told me everything," Sam squeezed Cas' shoulder, "shit happens, man. You can't blame yourself for someone else's fate. Trust me, Dean wants you here."

"How do you know?" Cas sighed, "Dean's probably furious with me..."

"Did he not give you the tape?" Sam asked, looking confused, "He pestered me for weeks to help him record-"

"What tape?" Cas asked, just as confused as Sam looked.

"Your Christmas gift. Listen to it," Sam grinned, "trust me."

"I forgot about that," Cas said, remembering the poorly wrapped box Dean handed him just minutes before the fight, "I'll listen to it when I get home."

"Good," Sam gave Cas a one-armed hug, "Dean's a strong person, Cas. He'll pull through."

" _SAM!_ " John's voice echoed outside the room.

"You should probably go," Cas chuckled without humor, "good luck with your-"

"God dammit, Sam! I said get your ass to the car," John swung open the door, losing his balance for a split second before finding his footing, "now."

"Walk home. I want to stay with Dean for a while," Sam folded his arms, glaring at his father.

"I sure as hell ain't walking home," John held out his hand, "give me my keys."

"Are you insane?" Sam rolled his eyes, "I'm not letting you drive," he pointed to Dean, "I already have one family member in the hospital for Christmas. I'm not going through this twice today, dad."

John dropped his hand and clenched his fist. Cas could literally see the tantrum boiling up inside the full-grown man. Sam stood his ground, not taking his eyes off of his father. No one said anything for several tense moments. Finally Cas cleared his throat, after watching Sam and John stare daggers at one another for almost a full minute, "maybe a hospital isn't the best place for this...I could stay with Dean for a while longer if you-"

"You'd like that, wouldn't you, faggot?" John hissed, his attention snapping to Cas.

"I'll drive you home," Sam stepped between Cas and John, "leave Cas out of this," he added in a low voice.

John sighed heavily, defeated. He turned and stormed out of the room without another word. Cas and Sam collectively sighed, relieved, when John was presumably out of earshot.

"What an asshole," Cas mumbled before he could censor himself. He wasn't one for cursing out loud, but in this particular circumstance, he made an exception.

"I couldn't have said it better myself," Sam pulled Cas into another hug, "I'll try to swing by later," he pulled the car keys out of his pocket, "take care of my big bro, okay?"

"I'll do my best," Cas smiled shyly, waving at Sam before he left the room, once again, leaving Cas alone with Dean. He looked at Dean laying motionless on the bed; the beeping and whirring of the machines was almost deafening in the silent room.

Cas hated hospitals. This was the longest he'd ever voluntarily stayed at one. _Dean was worth it_ , he kept telling himself, _Dean was worth it_. After several more hours, Cas had nearly come to peace with his fear of hospitals. Almost. When Jo showed up and told Cas to get some sleep, he didn't argue. 

One the walk home, Cas thought about everything he wanted to say to Dean if he ever woke up. It wasn't until he reached his block that he realized he never left a note for Anna about where he was. He knew his Christmas was about to get a hell of a lot worse, especially if Gabriel had come home early. Cas knew his siblings would understand once he explained everything, but he knew he would be hounded the moment he walked in the door either way. And he wasn't ready for more confrontation.

The Chevette was parked out front and Cas collected himself as he walked into the building. Gabe was home. He paused for a moment, inhaling, before opening the door, as ready as he'd ever be for the rage of his sister and brother.

"Where the _hell_ have you been?" Gabe rounded on Cas the moment the door was shut.

"No note. Your coat was here. All the lights on. Cas, where have you been?" Anna was frowning.

Cas closed his eyes, "I've had a really long night. Can I please have a cup of coffee?" he asked calmly.

Anna nodded for Gabe to get Cas some coffee, "are you drunk, Cas?"

"I wish," Cas took the mug of black coffee from Gabe, who had just returned. He took a long, reflective sip before speaking again, "I was in a rush, and didn't have time to leave a note."

"Stop being mysterious, Cassy. Where were you? We were really worried. Anna called me at the freaking hotel and I came home early," Gabe folded his arms, "I swear, if this is about Dean Wi-"

Anna touched Gabe's arm, silencing him. She looked at Cas expectantly, "well?"

"Dean and I got into a fight," Cas stared down into his mug," he left because I'm an idiot," he took a sip of coffee, "I got a call a few hours later from Jo. She was at the hospital," Cas' voice started to tremble, "Dean had been in an accident," his eyes were welling up with tears and he wiped his face on his free arm, "I just left. I didn't think...I had to go. I'm sorry..."

Both Anna and Gabe's expressions dropped, both staring at Cas with varying looks of shock. Gabe immediately looked away. Anna, on the other hand, delicately wrapped her arms around Cas, careful not to spill his coffee, "Cas, I'm so sorry. Is Dean alright?"

Cas shrugged, feeling another round of tears, "he's...in a coma," his voice cracked.

Anna hugged him tighter, "it'll be okay. People come out of comas all the time," she said, trying to sound confident.

"It might not be okay. Even the doctors won't say for sure if he'll wake up. It'll almost be better if he doesn't," Cas squirmed out of Anna's grip, "at least where he is now, he doesn't have to deal with his father."

"That bad?" Anna looked concerned.

"He pretty much disowned Dean this morning," Cas shook his head sadly, "Sam said he'd talk to him...but I doubt it'll help."

"He disowned Dean?" Anna's looked of concern flashed to anger, "for a stupid car accident?"

"Because I corrupted Dean," Cas finished his coffee and studied his mug.

"You? Corrupt Dean Winchester?" Gabe snorted, "I think he's got it the wrong way."

"Dean's not a bad guy, Gabe," Cas interjected, "sure, he's got his flaws, but they're part of what makes him...him."

Gabe rolled his eyes, "you sound like your in love with him."

"Dean can stay here if his father doesn't change his mind," Anna chimed in, her voice raised in an attempt to change the topic.

Both Cas and Gabe stared at Anna, "really?" Cas asked, "are you sure?"

"Yeah, Anna-banana, are you sure about that?" Gabe looked annoyed, "the position of house delinquent is already filled."

"You practically live with Meg. What do you care if Cas and Dean bunk together while everything gets sorted?" Anna frowned at Gabe, "I happen to agree with Cas, about Dean. Why do you hate him so much?"

"I worry," Gabe shrugged, "that other guy, what's his name, from New York-"

"Dean isn't like him," Cas was getting fed up, "if you'd just get to know him..." he paused, "you know what? Forget it. I don't care if you like Dean. I love him and nothing you say is going to change that."

Gabe sighed, "I don't hate Dean. I just worry that he doesn't feel the same way you do," he leaned against the arm of the couch, "with the girlfriend thing, you really can't blame a fella for not wanting to trust the guy."

"Jo isn't in the picture anymore," Cas watched Gabe pull at a loose string on the sofa, "it's just me and Dean now."

"I'll believe that when I see it," Gabe smirked.

"Gross," Cas couldn't help laughing, "you're a pervert."

"So it's settled. Dean'll move in when he wakes up," Anna cut in, smiling brightly.

"Great," Gabe winked at Cas, making a suggestive hand gesture.

"I'm going to bed," Cas breezed past his older siblings, chuckling to himself.

"Merry Christmas, Cas," Anna said sweetly, "oh, wait!"

Cas turned around, "what?"

"This is yours," Anna picked up the small, box that Dean gave Cas the previous night.

"I nearly forgot," Cas took the box and looked at it, "Sam told me to listen to it."

"Get some sleep, Cas. Listen to it later," Anna ruffled Cas' hair, "you look like crap."

"Thanks," Cas tucked the box in his pocket, turning to head to his room, "Merry Christmas."

Cas locked his bedroom door and grabbed his tape deck, taking a seat on his bed. He gingerly unwrapped the tape and smiled when he saw Dean's chicken-scratch handwriting spelling out, For My Cas, "Oh, Dean," he sighed sadly, popping the tape into the player.

The tape clicked on and Dean's voice gave Cas goosebumps, " _Is it on, Sammy?_ "

" _The tape is moving...does that mean it's recording, Dean?_ "

" _Yeah, so shut up and hold the microphone._ "

" _A please and thank you would be nice. I'm sure Cas wouldn't appreciate your shitty manners._ "

Cas chuckled, a smile overtaking his face.

" _Dammit, Sammy, this is the only tape I had and it's a present. Just stand there and shut your pie-hole so I can get this over with._ "

Sam laughed, " _you must really love him if you've stooped to Elton John. That's corny even for you._ "

" _Sam!_ "

" _Sorry, I'm shutting up. Merry Christmas, Cas!_ "

" _Sorry about that, Cas,_ " Dean said gruffly, " _So, I know I've been a Grade A jerk lately, but it has nothing to do with you. Hell, being around you is the only thing I look forward to anymore_ ," Sam snorted in the background, " _Sam!_ "

" _Sorry!_ "

" _ANYWAY. I'm no good at this...romance thing. Just ask Jo_ ," Dean chuckled, " _so, I'll let this song do the talking_ ," shuffling was heard before Dean cleared his throat, strumming and finger-picking the intro to the song on his guitar. After a minute or so, Dean started singing the familiar lyrics, " _It's a little bit funny...this feeling inside...I'm not one of those who can easily hide...don't have much money, but boy, if I did, I'd buy a big house, where we both could live_ ," Dean's voice was soft, almost shy. As he continued singing, his voice grew stronger, and but the climax of the chorus, he'd lost all inhibitions and practically belted out, " _I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind, that I put down into words...how wonderful life is, while you're in the world._ "

Cas sat, gaping, as Dean sang and expertly played the guitar on the recording. He didn't realize how amazingly talented Dean actually was. As the song continued, Cas began to feel a third round of tears. By time Dean had finished the song, his voice was trembling, " _how wonderful life is...while you're in the world._ "

Cas exhaled slowly as the tape clicked to an end. The had been the worst Christmas Cas ever had. But, he was almost ambivalent about it. Sure, Dean was in a coma, but after listening to the tape, Cas somehow felt better. It gave him hope. Dean loved him and he loved Dean. Surely things would work out. They had to. He needed to tell Dean so many things. How he loved him, and how Dean meant everything to him. 

As Cas curled up on his bed, the loneliness struck him. He could wish and hope for Dean to be back, but he knew this was going to be a long process. As he fell asleep, he made the executive decision to be there for Dean until whatever end they faced.


	9. Flashbacks and Confetti

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unsurprisingly, Cas decides to spend New Years Eve with Dean, which causes Cas to have a flashback of when he lived in New York City.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo. Trigger warning: mentions of masochism. Bullying too. 
> 
> Thanks again for bearing with me while I write this fic. I appreciate all of my readers. You're all so lovely, and I hope this fic continues to be readable as it nears the last few chapters! :)

**New Year's Eve**

In the days leading up to New Year's, Dean's condition remained the same: stable, but still comatose. The only time Cas left the hospital was when Jo, Sam or Missouri phsyically walked him to the exit and told him to eat, sleep and shower. He never wanted to leave because he held onto the hope that Dean could wake up at any time and he insisted that he needed to be there. 

It was the last day of December. The last day of the year. Cas had been at Dean's side all day because everyone else seemed to have plans. He'd been at the hospital since dawn, only popping out when it was time for Dean's sponge bath. That was alright though, he desperately needed coffee. 

As he nibbled on a stale donut in the hospital cafeteria, he heard his name. Glancing up, he saw Jo strolling over, wearing an incredibly flashy dress, "wow, you look like a disco ball."

Jo laughed, "party at Mike's tonight," she turned to show off the whole outfit, "I thought I'd stop by and see if I could coax you out."

"Mike hates me. I think I'll stay here," Cas picked at the donut, "I don't want Dean to be alone on New Year's."

"How did Dean get so lucky?" Jo sat across from Cas, helping herself to a piece of the donut, "are you sure you're alright here?"

"I don't want to bring in 1976 with anyone but Dean," Cas sipped his coffee, "I hope you have fun tonight though."

"My mom's at home, so, if anything changes with Dean, call her. She can relay the message to me," Jo got up and walked around the table to hug Cas, "I'll see you in '76!"

"Be safe," Cas stood up, "will you be able to come tomorrow?"

"I'll be here at some point," Jo grinned, pulling out a small bottle of vodka from her purse, "Adam is staying sober tonight."

"Call me here if you need anything," Cas walked with Jo to the exit of the cafeteria, "hell of a way to end the year, huh?"

"Maybe he'll wake up," Jo nudged Cas, "there's still four hours until midnight."

"I won't get my hopes up," Cas held the door for Jo, "I guess I'll see you next year."

Jo nodded, "you don't have to stay until I get back, you know. You look exhausted, Cas."

"I'm fine. I won't let Dean wake up alone," Cas said stubbornly.

"Oh, Cas. You're heaven-sent," Jo hugged him again, "Dean picked a good fella." 

After their prolonged goodbyes, Cas and Jo parted ways. Cas went back upstairs to Dean's room. Missouri was tucking him back into bed, "still here?" she asked, an amused smile taking over her face.

"No one should be alone on New Year's," Cas took his usual seat, next to Dean's bed.

"That boy better know how lucky he is to have someone like you," Missouri mused, inspecting the stitches on Dean's forehead, "he must," she glanced at Cas, "his vitals are always fantastic when you're here."

"All the more reason for me to stay as long as I can," Cas watched Missouri cross the room and flip the TV on, "actually, I was going to read..."

"Sweetheart, it's New Year's. You're watching the ball drop," Missouri grinned at him, "I'm so glad I'll have someone to watch it with this year. Last year I was the only conscious person here."

"I'll be honored to ring it 1976 with you and Dean," Cas offered a small smile, reaching for Dean's hand, "thank you for bending the rules for me."

"What rules?" Missouri winked at Cas, "Holler when it's almost midnight. I have to do my rounds."

Cas nodded, turning his attention to the TV when Missouri left. The camera was panning out over the crowd of people in Times Square. There had to be ten thousand or more celebrating the holiday. Seeing the city on TV made Cas miss living there. He was only there for about six months, but it was truly exciting to be at the center of everything. At least New York was fascinating until Alfie happened. Cas couldn't think about New York without Alfie coming up. He tried to block it from his mind; it was a rough time for Cas, and he really didn't like to talk about it.

_From the moment he saw Alfie, Cas was smitten. But, being as shy as he was, Cas never got up the courage to speak to Alfie- he more or less admired him from afar. Cas tried to be discreet, but about six months after he moved there, Alfie caught him staring in class one day._

_That night, Alfie called Cas- which was a total surprise because Alfie was literally the most popular guy in school. He got Cas to agree to have dinner, just the two of them. 'Like a date,' Alfie even said._

_Cas was giddy with excitement. He told Anna and Gabe that he was going to hang out with a new friend. As he headed toward Times Square, he hummed to himself. Alfie was waiting for him near the 42nd St sign post; he waved Cas over._

_"It's Castiel, right?" Alfie asked, smiling._

_"Cas, please," Cas' cheeks were flushed, "so, um, dinner?"_

_"I thought we could take a walk through Central Park," Alfie winked at Cas, "work up our appetite before we eat."_

_The sun was low in the sky as Alfie and Cas strolled, side by side, through the park. Cas kept glancing at Alfie, hoping their lack of conversation wasn't awkward. Alfie was smiling, so Cas assumed he was enjoying himself for the time being._

_After a while, Alfie stopped near a bridge, "hey, Cas, can I ask you something?"_

_"Of course," Cas' heart was pounding in his ears, "what's up?"_

_"Did you really think you had a chance with someone like me?" Alfie chuckled, "Even if I was queer. I mean...look at you."_

_"You're not..." Cas felt nauseous, but before he could think on the feeling, something hit him in the back of the head, "what the-"_

_"Take that, faggot," a second voice said, as another stone flew in Cas' direction._

_"What did I ever do to you?" Cas knew there were tears in his eyes as he ducked a third rock._

_A couple of popular jocks walked over to Alfie, all of them making fun of Cas as he ran in the opposite direction. The last thing Cas heard was Alfie saying, "kill yourself."_

_Cas didn't stop running until he was home. He was crying when he walked into the apartment, ignoring Anna and Gabe as he locked himself in his bedroom. He couldn't process what just happened. In a frenzy, he tore open his dresser drawer, pushing over his socks to reveal a double-edge razor blade. His fingers hovered over it, the words "kill yourself" reverberating in the back of his mind._

_"Castiel Novak, you open this door right now," Anna pounded on Cas' door, "don't make me pick the lock."_

_Before Cas could answer, the door clicked open. Anna looked at Cas' outstretched hand. She walked over to the dresser and saw the razor blade, "Cas..."_

_Cas spun around and went to leave, but Anna grabbed his arm, wrapping her arms around him, "Cas, talk to me," she didn't let go, "what happened?"_

_"Nothing," Cas' voice broke, a fresh round of tears in his eyes as he tried to wriggle out of her grip, "let me go."_

_"Not until you tell me why you have that in your drawer," Anna was losing her grip on Cas, "Gabe, help me!"_

_Gabe was in Cas' room almost instantly, "what the hell is going on?" he looked from Anna to Cas._

_"Check his drawers," Anna nodded to Cas' dresser, "I'm going to let you go, Cas, but don't even think about leaving," she let Cas go and folded her arms, "you're a mess. What happened with your friend?"_

_Cas wiped his face on his sleeve, "it was all a cruel joke," he sniffled, looking at Anna, "they..." his voice trailed off, "they told me to kill myself."_

_Gabe looked at Cas, holding up three blades, "are there anymore?" he asked, interrupting Cas._

_"No," Cas sighed, sitting down on his bed, "that's all."_

_Anna still looked horrified, "Cas...if things were this bad, you should have come to me."_

_"I can't go back to that school," Cas said quietly, his voice trembling, "I won't go back."_

_"I had a job offer in this small down about ten hours away," Anna smiled sadly, "but if we go, that's it. We can't afford to keep moving every six months."_

_"Please," Cas looked at Anna, desperate, "I can't go back."_

_"We're moving again?" Gabe groaned dramatically, "well, at least this time I didn't get expelled," he added, a smug grin taking over his face._

_"Go pack," Anna shooed Gabe and sat down next to Cas, "I know things have been rough without mom and dad, but you have to remember that you're not alone," she touched Cas' shoulder, "I'm sorry for going through your stuff..."_

_"I never used them," Cas said, looking down at his lap, "I tried, but something always stopped me..."_

_"What do you mean?" Anna looked confused._

_"Like a voice in the back of my head, telling me things would get better," Cas shrugged, "so I never went through with it."_

_"Promise me you'll come to me before it gets to this point again," Anna said sternly, "I promised dad, before he went to Vietnam, that I'd take care of you. I love you, Cas. Don't worry me like this ever again..."_

_Cas nodded, "okay, Anna."_

Coming out of his flashback, Cas looked at the TV again. It was after 11:30. Less than half an hour until the new year. The steady beeping of Dean's heart monitor made Cas remember that he was still sitting in the hospital. How long was he zoning out?

Cas brushed his fingers across the back of Dean's hand, "there's still time for you to see the ball drop, if you want to wake up, Dean," he mumbled, gently reaching over to stroke Dean's cheek, "you really need to shave," he smiled, his eyes pained as he dropped his hand to hold Dean's, "don't make me go to school alone, Dean...please," he added in a whisper, closing his eyes, "I need you."

Cas knew that talking to Dean while he was comatose was fruitless, but it made him feel better, "who am I supposed to kiss at midnight now?" Cas opened his eyes and looked at Dean, "you have ten minutes to stop all this, Dean."

For the next few minutes, Cas watched Dean, hoping for any sign that he could wake up. As midnight drew near, Missouri returned, turning up the TV just as the countdown started.

"10."

"9."

"8."

"7."

"6."

"5."

"4."

"3."

"2 ." Cas closed his eyes, still holding Dean's hand, as he braced himself for the new year.

"1."

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!" Missouri cheered, watching the festivities on TV. Confetti poured from the building and countless couples kissed at the stroke of midnight.

"Happy New Year, Dean," Cas squeezed Dean's hand, "you owe me a New Year's kiss," he went to let go of Dean, but for a second, Cas could have sworn Dean squeezed back, "oh!"

Missouri looked at Cas, "Oh?"

"D-Dean!" Cas stood up, holding Dean's hand between both of his, "he squeezed my hand!"

"He did?" Missouri went into nurse mode, "is that all?" she checked Dean's pulse.

"Yeah," Cas was beaming, "is he waking up?"

"Not necessarily," Missouri grabbed the clipboard and wrote down some notes, "sometimes it seems like they'll be waking up, but it's all part of the process of the brain resetting itself."

Cas' smile faded, "so he's not waking up."

"I'm just saying it takes time," Missouri put the clipboard down, "could be days, could be months. Only time will tell."

"Is this progress though?" Cas asked, referring to Dean squeezing his hand.

"Absolutely," Missouri smiled, "I think he must know how impatient you are."

"I'm not-"

"I hear you talking to him, sweetie," Missouri laughed, "you've hardly left his side. He knows you want him awake."

"He'd better," Cas glanced at Missouri, "what's the average time it takes someone to come out of a coma?"

"I can't really say. It depends on the person," Missouri turned and walked over to the TV, shutting it off, "like I said...could be weeks, months...maybe years."

"Years?" Cas choked.

"In major cases," Missouri turned back to Cas, "coma patients are tricky. It's hard to give time frames."

Cas sighed, sitting back down, "at least being here with Dean has helped me get over my fear of hospitals."

"That's the spirit," Missouri opened the door to leave, "as a nurse, I shouldn't say this, but I like you, so..."

"What is it?"

"Love is a better medicine than any treatment we could give him here," Missouri grinned at Cas, "and let me tell you, Dean is loved."

Cas felt his cheeks warming as he looked back to Dean, "he really is."

"I should take over the desk. I'll be down the hall if you need anything," Missouri started to leave but Cas spoke up.

"Hey, Missouri?"

"Hm?" Missouri turned to Cas.

"Happy New Year," Cas smiled shyly.

"And a Happy New Year to you," Missouri said, opening the door a bit more, "to both of you," she left without another word.

When Cas was alone with Dean again, he stood up and leaved down to kiss Dean's forehead, "here's to a new year," he whispered, his lips lingering, "a fresh start."

1976\. A new year. A fresh start is exactly what Cas needed. Dean would wake up and they could start over; pretend none of this had happened. This year had potential because it was starting at rock bottom. Things could only get better. They had to, because they couldn't get much worse. 

...could they?


	10. An Unexpected Valentine's Day Gift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After getting roped into going to a school dance with Jo, as friends, for Valentine's Day, he can't help but want to get out of going. Little does he know, he's in for one hell of a Valentine's Day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep those comments/kudos/etc coming. I'm flattered and overjoyed that so many of you are enjoying this fic. Because I'm having an absolutely blast writing it for all of you. <3

**January, 1976.**

The first day back to school was the hardest. Cas ignored the stares and whispers that seemed to follow him down the halls. He knew there were rumors, but his personal life was no one's business, so he kept to himself. He just had to get through the day, then he and Sam were going to see Dean.

Since the accident, Cas and Sam had hardly spoken. Sam caught Cas at his locker that morning and insisted that they needed to talk, so Cas couldn't say no.  
The day dragged by, but was, for the most part, incident free. Cas even hid in the bathroom during lunch, to avoid any potential awkward questions or unwavering stares from his classmates. The only class left was English with Bobby. He could do this.

Cas took his seat in the back of the room, attempting to ignore Dean's empty desk. He tried to pay attention to Bobby's lecture on Poe, but he was getting antsy. This was the longest he'd been away from Dean; the only time he'd been leaving the hospital over break was to bathe, so, six hours at school seemed like an eternity.

The final bell rang and class was dismissed. Cas frantically gathered his things and nearly knocked Garth over as he made his way to the front of the room. 

"Cas, hold up a minute," Bobby said, pointing Cas to a desk.

Cas sat down and watched his peers filter out into the hall. Bobby followed the last person out and shut the door, "you okay, Bobby?" Cas asked, his eyes on the clock.

"I think I should be asking you the same question," Bobby sat on his desk, "I know you and Dean were close."

"I'm fine," Cas said quietly, "or, I should say, I'm better than I was at first."

"You don't look fine, boy," Bobby frowned, "your homework is to go home and get a good night of sleep."

"But-"

"When is the last time you slept in a bed?" Bobby raised an eyebrow.

Cas opened his mouth to argue, but Bobby was right. It had been nearly two weeks since he'd slept in a bed, "point taken, sir," Cas got up, "I need to get to the hospital to check on Dean first though."

"If you look this beat tomorrow, you're getting an F," Bobby cracked a smile, "tell that idjit I said to hurry back to class. It's too dang quiet without his input."

"I will," Cas chuckled as he headed to the door, "I'll see you tomorrow, Bobby."

Cas speed walked to his locked, where Sam was waiting. He smiled when he saw Cas, "hey, Cas."

"Sorry for taking so long. Bobby kept me after class," Cas opened his locker and grabbed his backpack.

"No worries," Sam followed Cas to the front entrance, "Jo said she'd drop us off at the hospital on her way home."

"She can't come up to visit Dean?" Cas asked, spotting Jo's car.

"She's filling out college applications," Sam waved at Jo, "I guess the deadlines are soon."

"I'm taking a year off after this year," Cas hugged his coat closer as the wind picked up, "for Dean."

"My brother is lucky," Sam grinned, getting into the front seat of Jo's car.

Cas climbed into the back, "hello, Jo."

"Hi boys," Jo seemed cheerful, "how's it going?"

"It's going," Sam fiddled with the radio as Jo pulled out of the parking lot, "you sure you can't come up and say hi to Dean?"

"If I don't mail out my application to Yale tomorrow morning, I'll never make the deadline," Jo slapped Sam's hand from the radio, "I love this song, stop."

Cas froze in the back seat, slowly inhaling as Elton John filled the car. Sam glanced back at Cas, noticing how uncomfortable he looked, "you can drop us here, Jo," he said, getting out of the car as soon as Jo stopped. Cas followed his lead.

"You two behave," Jo gave them a smirk before driving off.

"Thank you, Sam," Cas walked into the hospital, behind Sam, "can I ask what we needed to talk about?"

"Yeah..." Sam frowned, "about that."

"Your dad won't budge," Cas sighed, "that's it, isn't it?"

"He's gone this week, and said that if Dean's stuff isn't gone when he gets back, all of it is going in the trash," Sam pressed the elevator button, "any ideas?"

"Anna said Dean could crash at our apartment until things get sorted," Cas got in the elevator and pushed the button for Dean's floor, "I could move his stuff to my place...not sure where I'm going to put all of it though."

"I can move some of his stuff into my room, so you'll only have to take the important stuff he'll want," Sam followed Cas out of the elevator, "with the two of us, it won't take long."

"Poor Dean is going to wake up and everything is going to be so different," Cas mused, "I hope he won't be too upset."

"We'll deal with that when he wakes up," Sam walked into Dean's room, "he doesn't look as beaten up as he did the last time I saw him."

Cas grinned, "the other day his fingers twitched again."

"He could wake up any time when the starts happening, right?" Sam watched Cas fix Dean's hair.

"I think so," Cas took his usual seat, "his nurse said it could be days...but it could also take weeks or even months," Cas' smile faded a little, "his vitals have been stronger though."

"We should take wagers about when he'll wake up," Sam chuckled.

"You want to bet when your comatose brother is going to wake up?" Cas snorted, "I'd like to say Dean would be offended, but he'd probably cheering us on in his head right now."

"Probably," Sam pulled a chair up next to Cas, "hey, I meant to thank you for being here with Dean all the time. I wish I could have been here, but my dad..."

"It's okay, Sam. I'd rather not piss that man off again. I don't mind staying with Dean," Cas glanced at Sam, "but Bobby did give me a ridiculous homework assignment that's going to force me to go home."

"Let me guess, he told you to sleep?" Sam laughed, "Bobby must like you if he's acting all motherly."

"He basically told me I looked like crap and I needed to sleep in a real bed tonight or he'd give me an F," Cas rolled his eyes, "I sleep just fine in this chair."

"Take the night off. I'll stay tonight, since my dad is away," Sam nudged Cas, "go get some rest."

Cas looked from Sam to Dean, "but, what if-"

"If he wakes up, or whatever, I'll call you," Sam interrupted, "you're only a mile away. Stop worrying so much."

Cas sighed, defeated, "I guess it would be nice to have a night on a mattress, rather than a wooden chair."

"Have you slept at home since this happened?" Sam looked bewildered.

"Not really," Cas admitted sheepishly, "I feel bad because this is partially my fault."

"Stop it. This was an accident," Sam folded his arms, "I think you need to go get some sleep, Cas."

Cas stood up, "and you'll call if-"

"Yes, Cas."

"I'll be back before school to-"

"Cas, don't worry about Dean. He's in good hands."

"I just-"

"I know you love him, but you need to take care of yourself," Sam got up and ushered Cas to the door, "Dean would be super pissed off if he knew you weren't taking care of yourself."

"Fine, I'm going now," Cas looked over at Dean once more, "I can be here in ten minutes if there's an emergency."

"I know, Cas. I'll keep you posted, now go get some sleep," Sam smiled, "and sleep means not calling the hospital every hour to check on Dean, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Cas reluctantly left the hospital, edgy from having only seen Dean for a few minutes. He walked home, and when he got to the apartment, it was empty, so he took advantage of the silence. It barely took him five minutes before he was snoring soundly in his bed. Maybe he did need some sleep, but he'd never admit it.

\- - -

**February, 1976.**

January came and went. Dean had gone from sporadically twitching his fingers, to jerking limbs. The doctors were optimistic that Dean could wake up anytime now. So, naturally, Cas spent every minute he could spare at Dean's side. His excitement was hard to contain every time Dean would move. 

"You should buy Dean a ridiculous stuffed animal for Valentines Day," Jo said, sitting across from Cas in the hospital cafeteria, "imagine him waking up to a gigantic stuffed bear or something."

"The idea is good in theory, but I'm not sure I want all the attention on me as I bring it up here," Cas chuckled, "I was thinking about giving him my favorite record...or maybe you have another idea?"

"I think the best thing to do would be to take him out for a burger," Jo stirred her coffee, "well, when he wakes up, that is."

"A burger? I though Valentines Day was supposed to be romantic," Cas raised an eyebrow.

"Dean sucks at romantic," Jo took a sip of her coffee and cringed, "how can you drink this crap?"

"I'm worse at romantic than Dean," Cas sniffed his own coffee, "doesn't smell as old as it did yesterday," he took a sip, "maybe I'm just used to the taste."

"That means you spend too much time here, Prince Charming," Jo smirked at Cas, "going above and beyond the call of duty as boyfriend."

"The guilt-"

"Nope. We've had this conversation," Jo cut him off, "next topic. Are you going to the Sadie Hawkins dance at school for Valentines Day tomorrow?"

Cas shook his head, "Dean-"

"Even if I beg you to go?" Jo waggled her eyebrows, "go to the dance with me tomorrow?"

Dean moved his head and Cas gasped, "Jo, look!"

"Cas, focus," Jo snapped her fingers at Cas, "you need to get out. Come to the dance for a couple of hours. We'll have fun."

"Permission to stop at the hospital before I pick you up?" Cas smiled at Jo, "You know, to say happy Valentines day to Dean."

"So, you'll go?" Jo clapped her hands together, "I promise we'll have fun."

"I guess I can go for a little while," Cas took another sip of coffee, "but only after I stop here."

"Deal," Jo pretended to spit in her hand before offering it to Cas, "shake on it."

"Classy," Cas shook Jo's hand, "I'll pick you up in the Chevette around seven."

"Perfect," Jo got up, "I should piece together something to wear."

"It's not formal, is it?" Cas felt a sudden pang of unease. Formal affairs made him anxious. He wasn't sure why, but he was always on edge when he had to wear a suit. But, then again, the last two times he had to wear a suit was at his parents funerals.

"Hell no," Jo fixed her hair, brushing her fingers through it as she spoke, "wear whatever you want."

"Sounds good," Cas spooned some more sugar into his coffee, "I'll see you tomorrow, then?"

"You sure will," Jo grinned, "don't forget!" she waved at Cas before leaving the cafeteria. 

When Jo was gone, Cas sighed, "why do I always agree to this crap?" he mumbled to himself, grabbing his coffee as he headed back to Dean's room.

Dean was still unchanged when Cas got back, habitually pressing a kiss to Dean's forehead before taking his seat, "Jo's making me go to some school dance tomorrow," he said, leaning forward to hold Dean's hand, "so don't wake up until I get here, okay?" Dean's fingers twitched and Cas assumed it meant 'okay,' "good."

\- - -

"Trust me, Cas, the tie brings out your eyes," Anna expertly knotted the blue tie, "you look handsome."

"I look like a traveling salesman," Cas complained, "what if Jo doesn't wear a dress? I'll look like-"

"Her gay best friend," Anna suggested.

"-an idiot," Cas continued, "I should call her and tell her I'm not feeling well..."

"Like she'll believe that," Anna rolled her eyes, "I think you can handle a couple of hours away from Dean."

"I'm only making an appearance," Cas tried to flatten his unruly hair.

"Don't you dare ditch Jo," Anna folded her arms, "or I'll make you sleep here."

"I won't," Cas grabbed his khaki trench coat, off the bed, "but I do need to visit Dean first...Valentines day, you know?"

"Have fun," Anna followed Cas to the parlor, "how late are you going to be? I need the car early tomorrow."

"I'll bring it back before I head back to the hospital for the night," Cas grabbed the car keys off the side table, "I'll call if anything comes up."

Cas hummed along to the car radio as he drove to the hospital. After parking, he headed up to Dean's room. Missouri spotted Cas the moment he got out of the elevator, "there you are," she said cheerfully, "I was worried when I didn't see you at Dean's side," she noticed Cas' outfit, "don't you look sharp."

"School dance," Cas fiddled with his tie, "how's Dean today?"

"That boy has been mumbling for the past couple of hours," Missouri winked, "today might be the day."

"He'd better what until later. My friend will be furious if I ditch her," Cas mused, "can I go in?"

"Go right ahead. You know where I'll be," Missouri walked behind the reception desk as Cas went to Dean's room.

"Hello, Dean," Cas walked over to Dean and kissed his forehead, "happy Valentines day," he added in a whisper.

_"Mmm."_

Cas froze, "Dean?"

Dean made another mumbling sound. 

Cas slowly stood up straight, staring at Dean, "can you hear me?"

 _"Mhm,"_ Dean's eyelids were closed, but twitched like they could open at any second.

Cas inhaled sharply, "Dean, I'm here," he touched Dean's hand, "can you open your eyes?"

Dean squeezed Cas' hand, murmuring something unintelligible. Cas sat down, watching Dean, who was moving his lips like he was trying to speak.

"Do you need something, Dean?" Cas let go of Dean's hand and stood up again, but as he did so, Dean's eyes snapped open.

"Oh my-" Cas gasped and tripped backwards over his chair, landing hard, with his seat, on the tiled floor with a crash, "ouch," he groaned as Missouri came running into the room.

"I heard a..." Missouri raised an eyebrow at Cas, "what are you doing on the floor?"

Cas pointed at the bed, his eyes wide and excited, "Dean! He's _awake_!"


	11. Good Morning Starshine, The Earth Says Hello

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At first, Cas is ecstatic that Dean had finally woken up. But, he quickly realizes that things aren't all peachy keen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy wow, the readers of this fic are amazing. I'm blown away by all the support and love I've gotten for this fic. I love all the comments and kudos and everything. Thank you, thank you, thank you. 
> 
> Also, feel free to share this fic and find me on Tumblr. (cockney-bitch.tumblr.com)

Cas stood against the wall, wide-eyed with excitement as a doctor and several nurses, in addiction to Missouri, filed into the room, circling Dean. The poked and prodded at him, talking amongst themselves. Cas wasn't entirely sure they realized he was here. 

When Dean finally spoke, his voice was raspy with disuse. Cas couldn't hear most of what Dean said, but he did catch him asking what was going on. Missouri told Dean he'd been in a coma, and that Cas had been with him since the accident. Cas blushed when Missouri made it a point to say how lucky Dean was to have Cas. For a while Dean was silent, looking thoughtful, if not a little confused. He glanced at Cas, but something was off.

As the entourage of medical staff finally left, Cas got up the courage to talk to Dean, who already looked like he was ready for a nap, "welcome back," Cas smiled shyly. 

"How long?" Dean asked softly, not looking at Cas.

"You were in a coma for about six weeks," Cas sat down in his usual chair, watching Dean grimace, "how are you feeling?"

"Tired," Dean closed his eyes, exhaling slowly.

"You literally just slept for six weeks," Cas smirked, "I thought you'd be craving a burger or something."

Dean opened his eyes and finally glanced at Cas, "I love burgers," he murmured, looking a frustrated.

"Are you in pain?" Cas habitually started to reach for Dean's hand, but froze when Dean jerked away, "Dean, what's wrong?" Cas folded his hands in his lap.

Dean stared at Cas, his eyebrows knitted together in confusion, "look, I appreciate you hanging here while I was in lala land, but I have a girlfriend, uh, buddy," his voice was gruff, but he looked apologetic, perhaps even sad.

"My name is Cas," Cas mumbled, feeling a twinge of pain when Dean clearly forgot his name. Buddy? Dean hadn't called him buddy since they first met. Panic was starting to rise in his stomach. What if...no, Dean just woke up. He was disoriented, Cas kept telling himself.

"Nice to meet you, Cas," Dean's lips twitched into a weak smile.

"Yeah," Cas got up, suddenly feeling a lump rising up in his throat. He was either going to cry, or vomit, but he had to keep it together. Dean didn't know who Cas was, and Cas felt everything around him spinning, "I have to make some calls," Cas escaped to the hallway, shutting the door behind him, as he made his way to the pay phones, his eyes burning with tears.

Cas had to call Sam and Jo, but he wasn't sure who to call first. Sam was Dean's brother, but on the other hand, Cas was now three hours late to pick up Jo for the Sadie Hawkins dance. He dropped a dime into the coin slot and decided to dial Jo first. 

The phone rang once before Jo answered, "if this is Cas, you'd better have a good reason for standing me up."

"Jo, it's Dean," Cas' voice was trembling.

"Cas, what's wrong?" Jo asked, instantly changing her tone, "hold that thought, I'm on my way," she hung up without saying goodbye.

Cas hung up the phone and grabbed the nickel that popped out, before dropping it back into the slot. He hoped Sam was home, as it rang, because there was no way he wanted to deal with John Winchester tonight. 

After three rings, the line picked up, "...hello?" Sam's voice was a relief to Cas, though he sounded like he'd just been woken up.

"Sam. Dean woke up," Cas tried to control his shaky voice, but as soon as he said it, he lost it. 

"Are you...crying?" Sam asked, yawning, "wait," Sam paused for a moment, "Dean's awake?" he gasped, finally catching up with the conversation in his just-woke-up daze.

"Jo's on her way. Come when you can," Cas said quietly, "we all need to talk."

"Why?" Sam was shuffling around on the other end; Cas assumed he was getting ready to leave. 

"I can't say it again," Cas said, his voice even more gravelly and broken, "just...come."

"Be there in a bit," Sam hung up.

Cas hung the phone back on it's hook, before heading to the elevator to meet Jo, who would be there soon, since she only lived a few minutes from the hospital. He leaned against the wall, trying to collect himself, when Jo walked out of the elevator, "Cas?" she walked over to him, wearing a black, fitted dress with matching heels.

"You look pretty," Cas smiled amicably, but his eyes were sad and Jo noticed immediately. 

"Talk to me, Cas," Jo folded her arms, "is Dean awake?" Cas nodded, and Jo frowned, "well, why do you look so..." Jo, remembering a doctor mentioning possibly amnesia when Dean woke up, figured out why Cas was distraught. Her jaw dropped, "Cas...how bad is the amnesia?"

As Cas opened his mouth to answer, the elevator doors opened again, and a very disheveled Sam Winchester walked out, and spotted Cas and Jo right away, "what did I miss?" he asked, carding his hand through his unbrushed hair.

"Dean doesn't remember me," Cas inhaled slowly, trying to dissipate the sobs threatening to escape. 

"How do you know?" Sam asked, looking lost.

"It was pretty obvious," Cas sighed, "I went to hold his hand and he told me he had a girlfriend."

"Technically he did, well, before the coma," Jo touched Cas' arm, "maybe he's just out of it."

"He said it was nice to meet me," Cas continued, shaking his head, "he has no idea who I am."

Sam glanced down the hall, "maybe we could help jog his memory-"

"No," Cas objected, "just give it time. He's sleeping again, either way."

"What do we do then?" Jo was frowning.

"Play along with what Dean remembers," Cas shrugged, "just until he's back to his old self. Then we'll fill him in and go from there."

"What do we tell him if he asks what your deal is?" Sam finally noticed Cas and Jo's outfits, "wow, you guys look groovy."

"Focus, Sam," Jo scowled at Sam, "we're not playing along. Not after what Cas went through for Dean."

Sam held up his hands defensively, "easy, Jo. I just want to make sure we're on the same page, for Dean's sake."

Jo's expression softened, "I say we just tell Dean everything."

"Absolutely not," Cas said sternly.

"But it could help him get his memory back," Jo argued, folding her arms, "Cas, you're one of my closest friends. I can't stand to see you like this."

"We need to think of what's best for Dean right now," Cas snapped, "and what's best sure as hell isn't telling him exactly what happened in the past month and a half, within two hours of him being awake," he ranted, gasping for a breath, "he'd freak out."

"I guess you're right," Jo said sheepishly, her cheeks flushed from Cas losing his temper, "I didn't think of it that way."

Sam cleared his throat, "I think Cas should talk to Dean," he smiled, "amnesia won't change the fac that they have great...uh...chemistry," Sam shrugged, "if anyone could get Dean to come around, it'd be Cas."

"What am I supposed to say to my almost boyfriend who woke up from a coma with no memories of me?" Cas asked dully, "he's the one who talked to me in the first place at school...I'm boring."

"Well, think of something then. We'll come back in the morning," Jo winked at Cas, "get creative," she looked at Sam, "you need a ride home, Winchester?"

Sam ran his fingers through his hair, "do you mind?"

"Not at all," Jo turned to Cas, "just stay with him," she pulled Cas into a hug, "I'll stop by your place and let Anna know what's up."

Cas clung to Jo, "thank you," he whispered, reluctantly letting go, as to avoid making the situation any more awkward.

"I guess we'll see you bright and early," Sam squeezed Cas' shoulder, "I won't tell my dad yet."

"I'm sure Dean will thank you for that," Cas chuckled, walking Jo and Sam back to the elevator, "hey, Jo?"

"What's up?" Jo pressed the down button.

"I owe you one for standing you up," Cas frowned, "I feel awful."

"I would have done the same thing," Jo ruffled Cas' hair, "no worries, sweetie."

The elevator dinged and the doors opened, "drive safe," Cas said, waving as Sam and Jo got in and the doors shut again.

Cas was glad Jo was letting Anna know about Dean- one less phone call he had to make. All he had to worry about was Dean. As least until Monday, when he had to go to school and leave Dean. Even if Dean didn't remember Cas, Cas refused to abandon him. He still loved Dean, after all.

To Cas' surprise, Dean was awake when he returned. Dean glanced up as Cas quietly shut the door and took his usual place next to Dean's bed, "make those calls?" Dean asked, his lips twitching into a small smile.

Cas nodded, folding his hands in his lap, "it took longer than it should have," he looked down at his hands, "I thought you were going to sleep."

"How could I sleep?" Dean raised an eyebrow, "I'm trying to remember."

"Maybe your brain is blocking those memories for a reason," Cas sighed, "maybe it's for the better."

"What happened?" Dean shifted carefully to look at Cas, his green eyes sparkling with curiosity. 

"I thought they told you about the car accident," Cas risked a glance at Dean and locked eyes with him, but quickly looked away, "you hit a tree," he added softly.

"I think you know what I meant," Dean frowned, "it can't be too bad if you're still here." 

"What's the last thing you remember?" Cas was afraid of the answer, but he had to know. 

Dean closed his eyes, "the morning before the first day of school," he laughed, "I was late."

"To Bobby's class," Cas smiled hopefully, "you were four minutes late."

Dean opened his eyes, "like always."

"Like always," Cas agreed, "so...how's your head?"

"Just peachy," Dean rolled his eyes, making Cas snort; at least Dean still had his sarcasm.

"Maybe you'll feel better if you get some sleep," Cas suggested, grabbing the novel, for Bobby's class, that he'd left there two days prior, "I have to read this for class, so you should rest."

"You're staying?" Dean's eyebrows shot up.

"Unless you want to sit here alone," Cas shrugged, "up to you."

"No...it's fine," Dean relaxed against his pillows , watching Cas, "never thought anyone would waste their time in a hospital for me."

"You were never alone," Cas murmured, opening the book, "lots of people care about you."

"You must care the most," Dean yawned, his eyes lidded, but still transfixed on Cas.

"What?" Cas looked up from his book.

"You're still here, even thought my brain is all...forgetful and shit," Dean smiled tiredly, "you musta been important."

"I'm nobody, really," Cas was blushing, "go to sleep."

"I'm going to figure it out, Cas," Dean's eye lips were drooping, "I'm gonna sleep now...but only because I want to, not because you told me to."

"Whatever you say, Dean," Cas focused on his book again. After a few minutes, Cas heard Dean say his name, "what is it?" he asked, his eyes not leaving the book.

"What day is it?" 

"Uh, February 14th," Cas cleared his throat, "Valentine's day or something."

"Is it?" Dean gingerly rolled onto his back, "happy Valentine's day, Cas."

"I thought you had a girlfriend," Cas muttered, still pretending to read.

"Doesn't mean I can't wish you a happy Valentine's day," Dean's eyes were closed and his voice was barely a whisper. Cas knew he was almost alseep. 

"Happy Valentine's Day, Dean," Cas said, when he knew Dean was asleep, "I love you."

\---

**March, 1976.**

Dean got stronger every day, though, he was impatient with the recovery process from the get-go. Fortunately his charisma and good humor remained in tact. He quickly became a favorite patient of the nurses.

_"Did it hurt, sweetheart?" Dean asked an intern one afternoon._

_The red-haired girl raised an eyebrow, "pardon?"_

_"Did it hurt?" Dean asked again, flashing a wolfish grin at the girl._

_"Did what hurt?" the girl folded her arms, looking amused._

_"When you fell from heaven," Dean winked at the intern, who burst out laughing; Cas couldn't help but laugh along with her. Classic, cheesy Dean._

_"You're barking up the wrong tree, handsome," the intern smirked at Dean, "have a lovely afternoon, gentlemen," she returned the wink the Dean before strolling out of the room, leaving Cas chuckling at an extremely awe-struck Dean._

It had been nearly two weeks since Dean had woken up. For the most past, Dean was back to himself. Well, aside from the amnesia and slight limp he walked with; he was still strengthening his legs and the doctor's assured Dean that the limp would be temporary.

"My doctor said I could go home on Friday if I keep up with my physical therapy," Dean looked out the window, "I can't wait to get out of here."

Cas stuffed his notebook into his backpack, "I heard," he zipped the bag shut, "I have to catch up with Sam and Jo. We'll all be by in a little while.

Dean sighed, "I guess I'll see you later, man."

"I...can stay if you want," Cas smiled shyly, "I'll call Jo..."

"Nah, you go," Dean waved Cas off, "I can handle boredom for an hour or two."

"We'll hurry back. Maybe sneak you an In-N-Out burger?" Cas grinned.

"If you don't come back with that burger, we're going to have a serious problem," Dean raised an eyebrow.

"I'll see what I can do," Cas got up, "you behave while I'm gone, okay?" he added, chuckling when Dean rolled his eyes.

Cas left the hospital, squinting in the late afternoon sun, a little thrown off because he'd been staying late at the hospital to keep Dean company after Sam or Jo left. It was nice to see the outdoors, even if it was unseasonably cold for early March. Cas hugged his jacked closer as he scanned the parking lost for Jo's car. When he spotted her, he walked over, smiling when Jo honked her horn at him.

"How is he?" Jo asked as soon as Cas was in the passenger seat.

"Same," Cas shrugged, "we may have a problem though."

"Uh oh," Jo pulled out of the parking lot, heading in the direction of Sam's apartment.

"Yeah," Cas picked at a loose string on his coat, "he's getting released on Friday."

"And John doesn't know Dean's awake," Jo cussed under her breath, "what do we do?"

"I'm not concerned about John," Cas looked at Jo, "Dean still has no idea he can't go home."

"Right," Jo was thoughtful for a moment, as she turned down Cas' street, "did you and Sam move his crap to your place?"

"Last weekend," Cas glanced at his apartment as they drove past, before turning down Sam's street.

"Maybe Sam will have an idea," Jo pulled up in front of Sam's flat and honked her horn.

Sam appeared a minute later, jogging over to the car and climbing into the back seat, "so get this-"

"Dean gets out on Friday," Jo interrupted, "what do we do?"

"That's exactly what I was going to say," Sam chuckled, "we're going to have to tell him everything."

"I know," Cas mumbled, "we can't just dump everything on him at once though."

"Cas, you're a doll for volunteering to tell Dean," Jo drove toward the In-N-Out burger joint.

"Wait, I didn't-"

"Cas, telling him everything might get rid of his amnesia," Sam said optimistically, "Dean is really fond of you, even now. He'll listen."

Cas sighed, defeated, "I'll talk to him tomorrow after school. Give him one more day."

"Are you staying there tonight?" Jo asked, taking a parking spot in front of the restaurant.

"Dean said I needed to see something called Star Trek," Cas smiled, "I was just going to stay until he went to bed."

"Maybe you should bring stuff up with him tonight," Sam said, reading the car hop menus, "Who knows, maybe he'll come around. That'd make it a hell of a lot easier to tell him that our dad is a dickhead."

"Very true," Jo turned her car off, "you're going to have to romance Dean tonight. Force him to remember you."

"Absolutely not," Cas choked, "I couldn't," his cheeks were burning, "no."

Sam and Jo laughed, "I'm kidding, Cas," Jo squeezed Cas' shoulder, "you really should try to mention something casually...like, something you and Dean have a good memory about," Jo added, smiling, "I read this paper about how random things have sparked memories in amnesia patients."

"Why were you reading that?" Sam scoffed, "you're the weirdest cheerleader ever."

"I happen to want to be a doctor," Jo said matter-of-factly, "but seriously, Cas," Jo ignored Sam's laughter, "if you can think of anything to mention that could help Dean remember..."

"I'll try," Cas stared down at his lap. He wasn't hungry anymore, so he say quietly while Jo and Sam ordered enough food to feed a small army- putting a burger aside for Cas to sneak into Dean later.

Cas needed to think of something that could trigger Dean's memory. But what? There was Dean's special spot, but Dean had already mentioned it, with no change in his amnesia. Cas was so deep in thought that he didn't even notice they were back at the hospital.

Jo snapped her fingers in front of Cas' face, "earth to Cas," she was smirking, "you going to see Dean?"

"You guys aren't coming?" Cas frowned.

"I have a pile of homework for anatomy," Jo said apologetically, "tell Dean-o I'll see him tomorrow. Oh, and give him a smooch for me," she added, winking.

"Sam?" Cas turned around to look at Sam.

"Jess is meeting me for a film tonight," Sam smiled, "You go hang out with Dean. Call Jo if anything comes up because my dad's home."

Cas collected himself before getting out of the car and heading into the hospital. His mind was swimming with possible memory triggers. Almost every memory Cas had with Dean, that didn't involve kissing, had no significant item or anything out of the ordinary that would stand out in Dean's mind. Sighing irritably, Cas pressed the elevator button. 

After a quick chat with Missouri, Cas made his way to Dean's room. Knocking, he opened the door, "Dean?"

"Took you long enough," Dean slowly got out of bed and sauntered over to Cas, "I believe you promised me a burger," he held out his hand impatiently.

"I promised nothing," Cas laughed and brushed past Dean.

"Are you kidding me, man?" Dean whined, visibly disappointed, "I can't live on this shitty hospital food anymore," he sighed dramatically, "I'm starving."

"Well, if you're starving," Cas pulled the luke-warm burger out of his pocket and tossed it to Dean.

"Oh, Cas, I could kiss you," Dean blurted out, upon seeing the In-N-Out logo on the burger wrapper, "uh, sorry," he chuckled, seeing Cas staring at him, wide-eyed, "I really love these burgers."

"I guess so," Cas tossed his book bag on the floor next to his chair, "Jo and Sam aren't coming, by the way," he glanced at Dean, "homework and girlfriend things."

"What a bunch of losers," Dean quipped, sitting on the edge of his bed, "Jo and Sam hate Star Trek anyway."

"I can't promise I'll like it," Cas sat down, "when is it on?"

"In a bit. Why, are you in a rush?" Dean's smile faded a little.

"No...I just have some homework," Cas nodded to his bag, "Bobby assigned two chapter to read."

"Glad I'm missing all the reading crap," Dean grinned again, "Bobby must be lost without me."

"Class is certainly quieter," Cas mused, "Bobby's miserable without someone to yell at."

"Thought so," Dean scooted onto his bed and stretched out his legs, "you should do that reading."

"But, I thought you wanted to watch Star Trek," Cas didn't actually want to do the reading, so he was looking forward to procrastinating. However, at the same time, his inner nerd was screeching at him to do his homework.

"Your grades are important if you're ever going to join Starfleet," Dean adjusted his pillows and laid back.

"I don't get the reference," Cas watched Dean get comfortable.

"Do your reading, I'm going to take a nap," Dean closed his eyes, a small smile playing his lips.

"Are you sure?" Cas unzipped his bag and grabbed the book.

"Shh, I'm sleeping," Dean whispered, now grinning, his eyes shut.

"No, you're not," Cas opened the book and flipped to the page he left off on.

"Yes, I am," Dean emphasized his point by fake-snoring.

"Very convincing," Cas murmured, skimming over the last couple of pages, to get back into the plot. Dean laid quietly, while Cas read, mumbling to himself about the plot as he scanned the pages. After a while, without realizing he was doing so, Cas started humming softly. 

After a minute or two, Dean turned on his side, to face Cas, "what song is that?"

"Huh?" Cas looked up from his book.

"You were humming a song I know," Dean looked mildly annoyed, "I can't think of the song though. Hum it again."

"I...I didn't realize I was humming," Cas cocked his head to the side, "how did it go?"

"Like this," Dean hummed a familiar tune and Cas froze, feeling his stomach dropped.

Cas knew the song. It was the one song that he tried to forget after Dean forgot him, "I, uh, I'm not sure," Cas lied.

"Damn. This is going to bother me," Dean hummed the tune again, deep in thought.

Cas needed to get out. Flashbacks of that song came flooding back like a tidal wave and his head was reeling, "I think I'm going to head out," Cas stuffed the book into his backpack and hastily made his way to the door, Dean still humming loudly, hardly hearing anything Cas said.

As Cas reached for the doorknob, Dean stopped humming, "...Cas?"

"Yeah, Dean?" Cas closed his eyes, his hand still hovering near the door handle. He heard Dean's bed creak, followed by footsteps coming toward him.

"Cas," Dean gently tilted Cas' chin up, "look at me."

Cas reluctantly opened his eyes, inhaling sharply when he realized how close Dean was to him, "what's wrong?" he breathed, wide-eyed.

"I'm a shitty person," Dean cupped Cas' cheek in his hand, "I...I'm so sorry."

"Dean?"

"I walked out on you on Christmas," Dean looked pained, "Cas, I'm so sorry."

"Hold on, when did you get your memory back?" Cas took a step away from Dean, "what's going on?"

"That song you were humming," Dean smiled, "figured it out. Just like I said I would."

"You remember everything? Even the accident?" Cas asked, unsure of what to do.

Dean nodded, closing the distance between them, wrapping his arms around Cas, "you had every right to be mad at me," he whispered, relaxing when Cas finally hugged him back, "I'm sorry."

Cas clung to Dean, "it's over now," he closed his eyes, enjoying the closeness he's missed so much, "problem solved."

"What did I miss?" Dean let go of Cas and nodded to the bed, "I need to sit."

When they were situated, Dean on his bed and Cas in his chair, Cas spoke softly, watching all of Dean's reactions, "tell me what you remember."

"We got into that stupid fight and I left," Dean cringed at the memory, "I didn't see this patch of black ice and I may have been going too fast and..." he trailed off, vocalizing his best impression of a car accident, "next I knew, there was nothing..." Dean smiled suddenly, "you know, now that I think of it, I used to hear you talk to me. It sounded like gibberish, but it was you. I know it."

"And to think, the doctors said it was useless to talk to someone in a coma," Cas mused, "you know, Jo used to talk to you too."

"Jo..." Dean looked at Cas, "does she..."

"She's known for a while, but it was discussed the night of the accident," Cas chuckled, "she called you a wimp for not telling her about us."

"So everyone knows about us," Dean raised an eyebrow, "what about Gabriel?"

"Gabe knows," Cas touched Dean's hand, "but he's not the one you should be concerned about."

Dean's face went pale, "how did he find out?" he asked, visibly on edge.

"I spent the night here and he showed up, drunk, with Sam on Christmas day. I was here," Cas closed his eyes, "he didn't take it well."

"Are you okay?" Dean squeezed Cas' hand.

Cas shook his head, opening his eyes, "you can't go home, Dean. Because I'm the faggot who fucked you up."

Dean flinched at Cas' harshness, "Cas...don't..."

"I'm just repeating what your father said," Cas looked down at the floor, "he said you weren't his son."

"Fuck him then," Dean sat up, "I'll just crash with Jo until graduation."

"Or it may be more convenient for you to stay with me," Cas glanced up, smiling shyly, "Sam helped move some of your essentials to my place."

"You really sorted everything out for me," Dean scooted over, "come here."

"That whole thing with your father was my fault, I had to fix it," Cas got up and took a seat on the edge of Dean's bed, "if you'd rather stay with Jo, I'll understand."

Dean sidled up to Cas, hugging him from behind, "not a chance," he pressed a kiss to the side of Cas' neck, "I almost lost you once. It's not going to happen again."


	12. The Return of the King

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean remembers Cas. And Cas is overjoyed. Things are finally starting to look up. Dean is leaving the hospital and is all set to return to school, but the kicker is that no one, outside of staff, Jo, Sam and Cas, knows Dean is returning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I say this at the beginning of every chapter, but thank you all for your continued support. All of your kudos and comments are mindblowingly sweet. And I can't believe this silly story have broken 1,100 views. I'm overwhelmed with emotion! (Or maybe that's just the season 9 finale. Not a tear in my eye, that's just Dean Winchester.)
> 
> Enjoy, my darlings!

Cas didn't mean to fall asleep at the hospital, curled up next to Dean. He also didn't mean to sleep until the following morning; he was so at peace feeling Dean next to him. This was the most sleep he'd gotten in one night since Dean got into the accident. Everything was finally getting better, and he allowed himself to relax. 

"Well, well, well," Missouri's voice tore Cas out of a particularly pleasant dream.

Cas sat up quickly, alarmed, "it's morning?" he looked at the clock, "and...I'm late," he rubbed his face, groaning as he groaned, raking his hands through his hair, "shit," he mumbled, laying back down.

"I take it you got your memory back, Dean?" Missouri was smiling as she checked Dean's temperature.

Dean swatted her away, "I'm still sleeping," he murmured, hugging Cas to his chest.

"One of you should be at school," Missouri raised an eyebrow at Cas.

"I'm...sick," Cas was already late, and it wasn't like he'd ever skipped school before. Dean was more important than school. A top priority.

"I'm sure," Missouri laughed, "you know I'm not writing you an absent note, boy," she added, heading toward the door, "I'll be back. You go to school, Cas."

Cas groaned again, sitting up. Dean's arm was still looped around his waist, "Dean, I have to go," Cas tried to loosed Dean's vice grip, "come on, Dean. I have to go..."

"Not yet," Dean whined, still half-asleep.

"I'll be back later," Cas touched Dean's cheek, "I promise."

Dean finally let Cas get up, "I'll be here," he was frowning, and Cas had to fight the urge to ditch school for real. 

"Don't give me that look," Cas grabbed his backpack, "I need to get to school before Bobby's class ends. He's the only one who will understand why I'm late to begin with."

Dean half-smiled, "Bobby's good like that," he carefully stood up and walked over to Cas, "tell him I'll see him Monday, alright?"

"Or we could keep it a secret and surprise the hell out of everyone," Cas grinned.

"Perfect," Dean pulled Cas close, "I'll see you soon, then?" Cas nodded, "Hurry back," Dean leaned in and pressed his lips to Cas', smiling.

Cas let his eyes close, "I will," he breathed, feeling Dean's lips again, more urgent this time; automatically he broke the kiss, his eyes wide.

Dean chuckled, "sorry...it's, uh, been a while since I saw a good fireworks show," he said coyly, a cheeky grin playing his lips.

Cas rolled his eyes, laughing, "you need to work on your cheesy pick-up lines," he wriggled out of Dean's arms, "I'll see you after school."

\---

Cas made it to Bobby's class with exactly two minutes to spare before the end of class bell rang. As expected, Bobby asked Cas to stay after class.

"Nearly an hour late. That's a new record," Bobby folded his arms, "care to elaborate?"

"I was at the hospital with Dean...I fell asleep," Cas said sheepishly, avoiding Bobby's gaze, "I didn't mean to. Dean was doing so well...we fell asleep talking."

"I suppose I can pretend this tardy never happened then," Bobby sat on his desk, "when's that boy getting out?"

"Friday," Cas glanced at Bobby, unable to hide his smile, "he can't wait."

"Is he coming back to school?"

"As far as I know," Cas noticed the time, "I'm going to be late to Trig..."

"Dean's going to need your help catching up," Bobby grabbed his pad of hall passes and a pen, "you're top of the class."

"I've already collected his work and have the books we've read," Cas watched Bobby scribble out a pass, "I'm a good tutor."

Bobby handed the pass to Cas, "you're a good kid, Cas."

"Thank you, Bobby," Cas smiled shyly before leaving the classroom. He had no desire to go to Trig, but at least it was only one block before lunch, then he could talk to Jo and Sam. His excitement made it impossible to focus on anything Ms Tran had to say, but fortunately he'd mastered the art of pretending to take notes. 

Cas was the first out of the room when the lunch bell rang. He walked briskly toward the cafeteria, keeping his eyes peeled for Sam or Jo.

"Cassy, bro, where the hell have you been?" Gabe clapped Cas on the shoulder, "I thought you were coming home last night."

"I accidentally fell asleep," Cas shrugged off Gabe's hand, "Dean's better and we were talking..."

"Better?" Gabe quirked his eyebrow, interested, "Does that mean I can't call him Limpy McGimpy anymore?"

"As in he remembers everything," Cas frowned, "did...you just call him Limpy McGimpy?"

Gabe grinned wolfishly, "it has a nice ring to it."

"Please don't make fun of Dean's limp," Cas folded his arms, "it might not go away."

"Does Dean-o know?" Gabe's eyes sparkled mischievously. When Cas didn't answer, Gabe's grin broadened, "I sense a secret!"

"Shut up, of course he knows," Cas saw Jo and waved her over, "the doctor's said if it didn't improve in a month or two..."

Gabe was smirking, "cool your jets, Cassy. I'm not getting involved in your marital issues," he rolled his eyes, "well, unless I catch you two fu-"

"Gabriel!" Cas snapped, just as Jo was in earshot.

"Whoa, easy there, Cas," Jo laughed, looking at Gabe, "hey G-man, starting trouble again?"

"You know it, dollface," Gabe ruffled Cas' hair before strolling into the cafeteria.

"He can be such an ass," Cas complained, before smiling at Jo, "I have news."

Jo's eyes lit up, "Oh?" she pulled Cas over to their usual lunch table, where Sam was halfway finished his sandwich, "well, Cas? What's the news?"

Sam put his sandwich down, "news about Dean?"

"I, um, kind of unintentionally jogged his memory," Cas couldn't hide his grin, "I was humming and the song literally snapped Dean out of it."

"I knew you'd figure something out," Jo said, beaming at Cas.

"I actually didn't realize I was humming," Cas eyed Sam's bag of chips, "Dean asked what I was humming, and I didn't know what he was talking about."

Sam laughed, "three guesses what the song was," he mused.

"I should have known that song was significant," Cas said, carding his hands through his disheveled hair.

"That Elton John one?" Jo asked.

"It's their song," Sam waggled his eyebrows, snorting when Cas' cheeks went pink.

"That's adorable," Jo giggled, "you guys are too much."

"Is Dean still cool to stay with you, Cas?" Sam pushed his chips toward Cas, who helped himself.

"Everything is all set," Cas examined a chip before popping it in his mouth, "what about your father?" he asked, swallowing his food.

"I told him Dean was staying with one of his football buddies until graduation," Sam poked at his sandwich, "he didn't believe me."

"So what did you tell him?" Cas asked nervously.

"I said it was none of his business," Sam shrugged, "I told him everything was figured out and he didn't have to worry about it."

"So...we're good?" Cas ate another chip.

"For now, yeah," Sam smiled, "is Dean okay with it?"

"For now, yeah."

\---

**Friday**

"I can walk, I'm not totally crippled," Dean said petulantly, folding his arms, "there's no way I'm letting you wheel me out in that."

"But, Dean-"

"No," Dean grabbed his jacked, "Cas, really, I'm fine."

"Missouri might be upset," Cas warned, "maybe just sit in it until we get into the elevator."

"Fair enough," Dean sighed, defeated, as he handed Cas his backpack. He sat down in the wheelchair, "are Jo and Sam outside?"

"They should be," Cas pushed Dean out into the hall, where Missouri spotted them.

"You actually got him in the chair," she mused, "no one could get that boy in the chair, even when he could barely walk," she laughed, looking at Dean, "you must be excited to get out of here."

"Excited? I won't be woken up at the crack of dawn to have my vitals checked...how will I ever cope?" Dean winked at Missouri, "don't miss me too much."

"You take care, smart ass," Missouri pinched Dean's cheek, "no speeding."

Dean waved her hand away, "yeah, yeah, yeah, can I leave now?"

"Watch your tone, boy," Missouri raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, ma'am," Dean grinned, "can I please leave now, Missouri?"

"I don't know," Missouri looked at Cas, "you sure you can handle him?"

Cas chuckled, "if I can't, my sister will have no problem keeping him in line."

"Good," Missouri leaned on the reception desk, "I guess this is goodbye."

"I would say I hope to see you again, but, you know," Dean half-smiled.

"I'd better not see either of your boys back here in a bed," Missouri smiled, "you two take care of yourself, you hear?"

After being stopped by no less than six of Dean's admirers from the hospital, Cas and Dean stood in the elevator. They ditched the wheelchair just before they got in. Dean's expression was unreadable, and Cas couldn't help but wish he knew what Dean was thinking about.

"Ready?" Cas asked as the elevator reached the ground floor.

Dean didn't say anything. A slow smile crept across his lips as the two of them walked outside. He closed his eyes and breathed in the fresh air, a look of pure bliss on his face. He looked beautiful and Cas couldn't help but stare.

The moment, however, was ruined by Jo honking her horn. Sam hung out the passenger side window, waving madly, "hey, over here!"

Cas and Dean piled into the backseat, and Jo pulled out of the parking lot, "how does it feel to be a free man?" she asked, glancing at Dean in her rear view mirror.

"I need to get used to it," Dean reached for Cas' hand, "I mean, this is the first time I've been in a car since..." his voice trailed off, and he looked out the window, "I guess what I'm saying is I'm scared."

"Really?" Sam and Jo chorused, both visibly surprised.

"Why are you scared?" Cas asked, confused.

"I was out for a long time...everything is so different now. It feels like I just stepped out of a time machine or something," Dean was squeezing Cas' hand, "a couple of months doesn't seem like a long time...but it really is."

The rest of the drive to Cas' flat was in silence. No one knew what to say to Dean to comfort him, because he was right. So much had changed and there was no sugar-coating it. 

"You two relax this weekend, okay?" Jo said as she parked in front of Cas' building.

"I'll relax when I know Cas and I are safe from dad," Dean mumbled.

Sam turned around to look at Dean, "I told you not to stress about him. For all he knows, you could be halfway to California right now."

"And even if he knew who you were staying with, it's no like he knows where Cas lives," Jo added.

"They do make good points, Dean," Cas nudged Dean, "stop worrying."

"Keep me posted, Sam," Dean said gruffly, "any hints that dad might know where I am-"

"I'll call you," Sam said automatically.

"If you boy want a lift to school on Monday, be outside at 7:30. I'll grab you after I get Sam," Jo offered a grin, "we can carpool."

It took Dean a couple of minutes to get out of Jo's backseat, but with Cas' help, they avoided disaster. Dean followed Cas to the door, holding it since Cas insisted on holding Dean's bag.

"Welcome home!" Anna said cheerfully when Cas and Dean walked inside. She was wearing her apron and the entire apartment smelled like a bakery, "Cas said you liked pie," she nodded to the kitchen, "apple and cherry okay?"

Dean's eyes grew wide and he looked at Cas, "Am I dead?"

Cas cocked his head to the side, "what?"

"I just got a real freaking homecoming that involved two pies. This is heaven," Dean finally grinned, "I think I'm going to like it here." 

\---

**Monday**

The only people at school who knew that Dean was coming back, outside of staff, was Sam, Jo and Cas. They all decided that it had been far too long since the school was in an excited uproar. As far as most of the student body knew, Dean was still at the hospital. Absolutely no one was expecting Dean back.

The reactions were immediate.

As soon as they pulled into the parking lot, the double-takes started. When Dean got out of the car, all chatter around the parking lot ceased and he could feel eyes on him.

_"Holy shit, is that Winchester?"_ one voice echoed.

A smile crept onto Dean's face as he cleared his throat, "so, uh, I'm back," he said, loud enough for everyone in the vicinity to hear.

For a moment, everyone loitering around was silent. At least until Jo yelled, "Well, let's hear it for the return of the king!"

Instantly the crowd started chanting Dean's name. By the time they reached the building, people were cheering and Dean's smiled had never been so genuine.

Cas was happy because Dean was happy. Just about everyone they passed on the way to Bobby's class either hugged or high-fived Dean. It was quite a spectacle.

"Dean-motherfucking-Winchester," Adam clapped Dean on the shoulder, "the prodigal son returns!"

Dean grinned at Adam, and Mike, who was a few steps behind Adam, looking genuinely surprised, "you look like you've just seen a ghost, Mikey."

"For a minute, I thought I did," Mike's surprise turned into a smirk, "shit man. It looks like you lost a battle."

"Cars and trees don't really mix," Dean said, laughing without humor.

"Apparently. That's a hell of a scar on your forehead," Mike punched Dean in the arm, "you still cool to play ball?"

"I gotta talk to coach," Dean's limp was still very obvious, but no one mentioned it.

The tardy bell rang for class and everyone parted ways, "I think I'm going to wait four minutes. You go on, Cas," Dean winked at Cas, who rolled his eyes and went into class.  
Cas took his usual spot and counted down until, right on cue, Dean swung the door open and strolled in. The class went silent.

Bobby folded his arms, "you're late, boy," a cheeky grin played at his lips.

Dean grinned, "sorry, Bobby. I overslept."

Bobby finally laughed, "it's good to have you back. Now sit your ass down," he shooed Dean to his seat and continued his lecture as if uninterrupted.

Dean hobbled to his desk and sat down, ignoring the whispers that were blatantly about his limp. He smiled at Cas, before pulling out a notebook and pen, so he could scribble something down.

Cas watched at Dean tore the page out and folded it, coyly handing it over. Raising an eyebrow, Cas opened the paper and read the note:

_Is my limp that bad?_

Cas frowned at Dean and jotted down a response: _Who cares? You're still you._ He waited for Bobby to turn around before handing back to Dean.

For most of the class, they passed notes back and forth:

_People are talking...what if I can't play football?_

_People are rude. I don't care if you have a limp or not. You're still my Dean. Besides, football might not be a good idea with that concussion._

_No car...no football...I'm nothing._

_SHUT UP. You're everything, Dean. EVERYTHING to me. We'll talk later, okay?_

The day couldn't end fast enough. Ever since Bobby's class, Dean's moon seemed to decline and it worried Cas. He nearly tripped over a desk rushing out of his last class of the day. 

Dean was waiting at Cas' locker, chatting with Jo. Cas smiled at the two of them, "who are we gossiping about?" he asked, opening his locker.

"Apparently Prom is going to be Fire and Ice themed," Jo said excitedly.

"Prom? I nearly forgot," Cas admitted, grabbing his Chemistry book, "I missed my junior prom."

"We'll have to make this one memorable then," Dean said, following Jo out to her car, Cas held pace with him, bantering on about his day. He wanted to assure Dean that, limp or not, he was there until the end.

Cas held the door open for Dean when they were at the apartment. After their goodbyes, they went inside.

"I talked to coach," Dean said quietly, putting his backpack down, "he said he couldn't have a gimp for a quarterback."

Cas wasn't sure how to respond. He crossed the room to Dean, "it's okay, Dean. You'll just have more time for your music."

Dean sighed and hugged Cas, "you always know what to say," he whispered, letting Cas go.

"I certainly try to," Cas touched Dean's arm, "are you okay?"

Dean shook his head, "not really."

"Is there anything I can do?"

"Promise me you'll be here no matter what," Dean locked eyes with Cas, "I need you, Cas."

Cas narrowed his eyes, "what are you planning?"

"Nothing," Dean looked away.

"Don't lie to me, Dean."

"I'm not."

Cas sighed, "I wish you would just tell me what you were thinking," he brushed past Dean, "I'm going to do my homework."

Cas tried to focus on the homework spread across his desk, but Dean had followed him and was currently sitting on Cas' bed, watching him. After a while, Cas finally shot a look at Dean, "what?"

"I was imagining how handsome you're going to look in a tuxedo," Dean mused, smiling.

"Why would I wear a tuxedo?"

"I was sort of hoping you'd go to prom with me," Dean said shyly.

"Really?"

"Duh. You're my boyfriend. I sure as hell don't want to go with anyone else," Dean climbed off the bed, "go to prom with me?"

"Are you sure?"

"Everyone knows about us already," Dean winked at Cas, "so, Cas, would you please let me escort you to our senior prom?"

Cas stared at Dean for a moment, almost shy to answer. He felt butterflies in his stomach, and even though he was used to them, because they were constantly fluttering around when he was with Dean, but he still couldn't help but blush, "okay, Dean. I'll go to prom with you."


	13. Ball Gowns and Picket Signs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean is brimming with excitement for prom. Everything is shaping up to be an unforgettable night...that is, until Sam calls right before prom, with some bad news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Inserts witty thank you for all the support]
> 
> Possible trigger in this chapter: homophobia.

**May, 1976.**

Cas couldn't believe how fast the school year was flying by. Winter was thing of the past and everything was in bloom. Despite his limp, Dean was in high spirits; Cas was sick of hearing about prom, but Dean was so excited that Cas could only grin and bear it.

Prom was about a week away and most of the senior class was unfocused. Cas already had his tux; Jo had picked it out and made Cas promise not to show Dean until Prom. He tried to argue that a white tuxedo was too flashy, but even he thought he looked good in it. He hadn't seen Dean's tux, but Jo assured Cas he'd swoon.   
It was Saturday morning and Cas lounged on the sofa in his boxers. Dean was laying against the opposite side of the couch, his legs curled under him. Anna had left for work an hour prior and Gabe never came home from date night with Meg, but Cas wasn't complaining. It was nice to have a quiet morning after a hectic school week.

Well. Hectic for Cas. Dean still hadn't done any of his school work since he returned. It was almost as if he'd stopped caring and Cas was beginning to worry, "Dean, can I ask you something?"

Dean looked at Cas, "sure, shoot."

"How do you plan on passing if you won't let me help you with you work?" Cas sighed, "I want to help you, Dean."

"I don't want to talk about this," Dean turned his attention back to the TV, "stop worrying."

"Graduation is three weeks away and you literally have a mountain of homework," Cas nudged Dean with his foot, "you don't want to be a Gabriel, do you?"

"Please, Cas, just drop it," Dean stretched his legss, "you worry about finals, I'll worry about me," he shifted closer to Cas, "I promise I'm figuring everything out."

"That's not comforting," Cas mumbled, folding his arms, "what are you planning, Dean?"

"I can't tell you yet," Dean kissed Cas' shoulder, "but I promise I will."

"I guess I'll have to trust you," Cas half-smiled, "promise me you won't do anything stupid though."

Dean laughed, "Come on, Cas. You know me. I can't promise that."

"At least you're honest," Cas smirked.

"Just trust me on this. I'll know everything by prom."

\---

Cas was on edge about Dean's plan all week. Mostly because Dean had stopped coming to school. He had a new excuse every day. The day of prom, Dean insisted that he had last minute prom business to attend to. Cas tried to force Dean to go to school, but he decided it wasn't worth starting a fight. Not today. 

The senior class was allowed to leave school two hours early to prepare for the prom. Cas walked home, enjoying the mild weather. No one was around when he got home, and he was curious as to what Dean was up to. 

Cas went into his room, jumping when he heard the shower turn on. He listened quietly to figure out who was home.

Everyone in the apartment had their own quirks when they showered. Anna typically sang showtunes. Gabriel, on the other hand, whistled. And Dean hummed Led Zeppelin. Cas was the only one who enjoyed silence when he showered. 

Cas pressed his ear to the wall and heard humming. So, Dean was home, Cas thought, smiling to himself, finally starting to feel excited for prom. He quickly changed into his tux before the shower shut off. 

Dean's recognizable shuffle was heard coming down the hall; the doorknob turned and Dean swung the door open, gasping, "holy shit, you scared me, Cas," Dean held his chest for a moment before noticing Cas' tux, "wow."

"Wow good or wow bad?" Cas looked in his mirror, turning to look at himself, "Jo made me get it...if it's too much we can stay in-"

"You look amazing," Dean adjusted his towel, "just...wow," he didn't take his eyes off of Cas.

Cas' cheeks were burning, "maybe you should get dressed...we're meeting Jo and Adam at her place for pictures," he fixed his tie in the mirror, "I said we'd meet around three because the limo is coming at four-thirty."

"Give me twenty minutes," Dean kissed Cas' cheek before shooing him out of the room.

Cas rolled his eyes and went to watch TV while Dean got ready. While Cas was watching a game show, the apartment door opened and Anna walked in, holding several large grocery bags. Cas automatically got up to help.

"I got it, Cas," Anna shut the door with her foot, "I don't want you staining your suit," she dropped the bags on the kitchen table before rejoining Cas, "you look fantastic," she said, starting to fix Cas' hair, "you have to brush your hair, Cas. It's prom," she pulled Cas down to the bathroom, "let me help."

"Anna, I can do my own hair," Cas tried to flatten his hair, "it's fine, see?"

"No," Anna opened the bathroom cupboard and grabbed some of Gabriel's hair grease. She rubbed some in her hands and worked it into Cas' hair, "stop fighting me," she combed through Cas' thick, unruly hair until it was slicked back and tidy. When she was done, Cas whistled appreciatively and Anna grinned, "you look like a real gentleman now."

"I've never seen my hair so...tame," Cas couldn't stop staring at himself in the mirror. He truly looked like a whole new person.

"Dean's going to love it," Anna winked, "speaking of Dean, is he getting ready?"

"In me room. He kicked me out," Cas chuckled, "we're going over to Jo's for pictures around three."

"How late are you going to be tonight?" Anna asked, following Cas out of the bathroom and down the hall.

"We have the limo until midnight. I'm not sure if I'll get dragged out after though," Cas tapped on his bedroom door, "ten minutes, Dean," he looked back at Anna, "no earlier than midnight, I'm expecting."

"I don't need to give you the drunk driving speech, do it? I've already given it to Gabe," Anna walked into the kitchen and started sorting through the groceries.

"I'm not drinking tonight and neither is Dean," Cas promised, putting the milk in the fridge, "you know I wouldn't do anything Gabe would."

"I still worry about my little brother," Anna put a few cans in the pantry, "Dean too. He's like a little brother, so I worry about him by default."

"I'll make sure Dean behaves," Cas head the creak of his bedroom door, and Dean's familiar stride coming down the hall, "I'm in the kitchen, Dean."

"Oh my!" Anna gasped, "Look at you!"

Cas turned to look at Dean. His jaw dropped, "Dean..." he was at a loss for words. Dean looked good. He looked really freaking good. The perfectly tailored black suit, black shirt and baby blue tie were quite a sight. The blue in Dean's tie matched Cas' shirt- he would have to thank Jo for picking out the suits. 

Dean smiled, "you brushed your hair," he mused, "or was it Anna?"

"I couldn't tame my hair to save my life. Anna's a sorceress or something. I'm still not sure how she did it," Cas laughed, straightening out Dean's pocket corner.

"Oh, before I forget," Dean pulled a box out of his pocket, "I got this for you," he opened the box to reveal a clip-on corsage, "I picked the flowers out myself..."

"Is this where you went today?" Cas asked, letting Dean pin the flower on his lapel, "it's really beautiful."

"Anna drove me," Dean winked at Anna, "I had to go to the florist in the town over because of those little blue flowers there."

"What are they?"

"Forget-me-nots," Dean said sheepishly, "I was trying to be romantic or something. Did it work?"

For a moment, Cas forgot Anna was standing in the kitchen. He unabashedly kissed Dean, "I love you," he whispered, stealing another kiss.

Anna cleared her throat, "it's ten of three. You two are going to be late," she pulled her car keys out of her pocket, "I'll drive you to Jo's."

Cas held Dean's hand in the back seat of the Chevette the entire drive to Jo's house. He kept glancing at Dean, who was smiling contently. 

Anna dropped them off in front of Jo's house, and left after a quick speech about safety. Dean laced his fingers with Cas' as they crossed the lawn and headed toward the house. Jo came outside before they got to the door. She looked absolutely panic-stricken.

"Dean," Jo was wide-eyed, "Sam just called."

Dean tightened his grip on Cas' hand, "what happened, Jo?"

"Oh, Dean...John heard about you and Cas going to prom together," Jo looked like she was going to cry, "he rallied parents...they're protesting at the venue."

"Son of a bitch," Dean looked at Cas, who was expressionless, "hey, it'll be okay. We got the whole student body behind us," he turned his attention back to Jo, "how did he find out?"

"Sam said he was eavesdropping on a phone call with Jess," Jo nodded to the house, "I hate to cut this short, but I have to put my dress on. Adam's inside," she went back into the house.

Dean started to follow Jo, but Cas didn't move, "Cas?"

"Are you sure it's safe for us to go?" Cas asked, his voice low.

"He won't lay a finger on you," Dean said confidently, adjusting Cas' tie, "because if he even thinks about laying a finger on you, I'll kill him."

"If things get too intense, promise me we can leave," Cas pleaded, staring at Dean.

"We'll leave whenever you want," Dean kissed Cas' forehead, "let's go keep Adam company. Jo takes forever to get ready." 

Prom pictures were tedious. It was hard to have a genuine smile knowing there were protestors at the prom. Cas was nervous, and even irritated at the whole situation. He just didn't understand why his relationship was such blasphemy to John Winchester. 

But, even in his bad mood, Cas had to admit that everyone looked amazing. Jo and Adam were decked out in coordinating red and black outfits- Jo's dress was stunning and simple. A blood red, knee-length, fitted red diddy with black sequin accents. Adam wore a plain, black tux with a red bowtie. 

"Okay, one more of Cas and Dean," Ms Harvelle pushed Dean and Cas together, "now how about a pose that would really piss your dad off, Dean?"

"I got it," Dean grinned mischievously at Cas, "tell me when, Ellen."

"On the count of three," Ellen focused her camera, "one...two...three."

In a swift movement, Dean dipped Cas and kissed him as the camera flash went off, "that one's going on my dad's birthday card."

Cas' cheeks were the color of Jo's dress, "you need to warn me before you do that," Cas breathed, fanning himself sarcastically, "how did you get so dapper?"

"I've always been dapper," Dean folded his arms, still grinning, "I just kept it toned down. But, it's prom. So I figured I might as well charm your boxers off," he added in a husky whisper.

"Actually, they're yours," Cas smirked at Dean, "they're silky. I like them," he murmured as the limo pulled up in front of the house.

The chauffeur got out and opened the door for everyone to get in. Inside the limo, no one said anything. They knew people would be protesting and there was nothing they could do but wait for the inevitable shit storm of hate. 

"You ready?" Dean asked, touching Cas' hand.

"No," Cas looked out the window, "it's not right, Dean."

"Look at it this way, Cas," Jo chimed in, "they can protest all they want, but once you're inside, they can't do a damn thing. And the school won't let them get away with this."

Cas was shocked to see no less than fifty parents and other locals holding picket signs outside of the venue. He felt like he was going to be sick, "I can't do this Dean."

"Just don't make eye contact. Follow my lead and don't let go of my hand," Dean tried to sound confident as he laced his fingers with Cas', "once we get inside we won't have to worry about these assholes."

The moment Cas and Dean stepped out of the limousine, the heckling started. Cas tried to block it out, letting Dean leave him into the hall. They were nearly at the door when a single voice made Dean freeze.

"It's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve you fucking fags," John Winchester's tone was cruel and biting.

Without hesitation, Dean spun around to look at his father, "actually, it's Dean and Cas, you drunk piece of shit," he yelled, taking a step toward him.

It took Jo, Adam and Cas to pull Dean inside. Even with a limp, he was ready to fight, and Cas was sure a fight would have happened had he not had backup from Jo and Adam.

The music inside helped drown out the angry mob outside, but immediately Principal Turner came over to them, looking stressed, "you two. Come here," he pointed to Dean and Cas, "look, I don't want to ruin your night...but my hands are tied. You need to tone it down. I don't want a riot outside."

"Tone it down?" Dean snapped, still on edge from the almost-tussle with his father.

"Just...no slow dancing, okay?" Principal Turner pleaded, "I can't risk the safety of everyone here."

"Fine," Cas tugged Dean into the ballroom by his sleeve.

When they were inside, Dean pulled away from Cas, "how could you just accept that?" he asked angrily, following Cas to a vacant table, "this is bullshit. We paid for our tickets just like everyone else."

Cas looked at Dean, sadly, "but what are we going to do about it?"

"I don't know," Dean sat down, frowning, "I'll make it up to you, Cas. This is my fault."

"No, it's your father's fault. You have nothing to make up for," Cas finally smiled, "it's not like I'm good at dancing anyway. I'm just happy we're here together."

"Me too, Cas," Dean grabbed Cas' hand under the table, "so, what do you think my chances for prom king are?"

"You're Dean Winchester. They should have just handed you the crown when you walked in," Cas laughed, "you and Jo have this in the bag."

"What do I have?" Jo asked, tugging Adam to sit down at the table.

"Cas says you're going to be my prom queen," Dean grinned at Jo, "hope you don't mind me dancing with your date, Adam."

"Be my guest, man. I don't want to dance that king and queen dance," Adam grabbed the pitcher of water from the center of the table, "alone in front of everyone here...no freaking thank you."

Jo nudged Cas, "I don't blame him. One time Adam barfed in math class when Ms Tran asked him to solve a problem on the board," she said, giggling, "poor guy has major stage fright."

"But you're in front of a crowd when you play football," Cas looked at Adam, "that's not much different."

"Yeah, but football is the only thing I know I'm good at, so I don't get so freaked out," Adam poured himself and Jo some water.

"I guess we all have that one fear," Cas mused, "Dean's afraid of flying."

"Well you can die on a plane," Dean let go of Cas' hand and folded his arms, "Cas screams like a girl when he sees a spider-"

"Okay!" Jo interrupted, "Can we lighten up? It's freaking prom," she grabbed Adam's arm, "why haven't you asked me to dance?"

"Uh," Adam cleared his throat, "dance with me?"

Cas and Dean laughed, watching Jo drag Adam out into the throng of students out on the dance floor. For a while, Cas actually enjoyed watching everyone dancing and having fun. A few people even came over to offer their support to Cas and Dean, including Bobby.

"You two don't listen to the idjits out there," Bobby said, pulling a flask out of his weathered, tweed jacket, "people like that aren't worth your time."

"It was my dad," Dean eyed the flask, "he organized all of that out there..."

Bobby looked around quickly before handing the flask to Dean, "boy, you need this more than I do."

Dean shook his head, turning down Bobby, "I don't drink anymore."

"Good boy," Bobby tucked the flask away, "alright there, Cas? You're even quieter than usual."

"It's a lot to deal with," Cas frowned, "being heckled for going to prom with Dean," he sighed, "not being able to dance with my date," he looked at Bobby, "it's not fair."

"As your teacher, I shouldn't say this, but, if you see a chance to rebel tonight, you dang well better take it," Bobby squeezed Cas' shoulder, "give 'em hell."

After Bobby walked off, Cas turned back to Dean, "what do you think he meant by that?"

"Who knows. He was drunk," Dean chuckled, "so don't take him too seriously."

"I wish we could rebel," Cas mumbled, "show your father we're not scared of him," he pushed his chair out and stood up, "I need to use the bathroom."

When Cas returned, Principal Turner was trying to command the attention of the prom goers. Dean saw Cas and waved him over as everyone started to quiet down.

"Before I reveal your prom king and queen, I want to remind you all to celebrate tonight safely," Principal Turner eyed the students, "drink all you kids want, but don't be stupid, okay?" he rolled his eyes at a couple of rude comments from the audience, "or be stupid. Cut me some slack. I'm trying to be a role model here."

"Get on with it!" a student yelled.

"Alright, alright," Turner pulled an envelope out of his suit coat, "here we go...your class of 1976 prom king is..."

Dean grabbed Cas' hand as Turner opened the envelope.

"Well, this goes without saying," Turner chuckled, looking at the card, "Dean Winchester!"

The crowd erupted into cheers in applause. Dean looked at Cas, his eyes wide with excitement. Cas could only smile and push Dean toward the stage. He watched Dean make his way up the stairs, and couldn't help but feel a little sad that he wouldn't be joining Dean up there.

Dean was beaming on stage as Turner put the cheap, plastic crown on his head before returning to the microphone, "and, now the moment you've all been waiting for," Turner looked at the second card, "your 1976 prom queen is..."

Cas closed his eyes, knowing it was impossible to win queen, but he braced himself nevertheless.

"Miss Jo Harvelle," Turner announced, clapping as Jo squealed and quickly made her way through the cheering crowd of her peers, to join Dean on stage. 

Dean gave Jo a hug after Turner put her tiara on. Cas was happy for the two of them. They both looked ecstatic and it made Cas forget that he was bitter about not being able to dance with Dean.

"Now, if you could all clear the dance floor for the king and queen's traditional first dance," Turner said after the applause died down.

Dean lead Jo down to the now vacant dance floor, "I wonder what crap they're going to make us dance to," he smirked at her, but as soon as the music started, his cocky grin faded. He glanced at Cas, who had the same stone-faced expression as he did, then back to Jo as piano chords from the one song that helped him remember everything reverberated from the speakers. 

"Oh, hell no," Jo dropped Dean's hand and waved her arms at the DJ to pause the music, "Hey! Stop the music!"

The music went off and Jo looked around, "this...this is wrong," she said loudly, touching Dean's shoulder. A few whispers were heard as she continued, "I don't know about you guys, but I think it's time to change tradition," Jo smiled at Dean before nonchalantly strolling over to Cas. She grabbed his hand and pulled him over to Dean, "I think everyone should be allowed to dance with their date," she looked at Principal Turner who looked horrified, then to the DJ, "how about some music, maestro?"

When the song started again, Jo rejoined Adam in the crowd, leaving Dean and Cas alone, staring at each other. Dean held his hand out to Cas, "we look like idiots just standing here."

Cas looked at Dean's hand, trying to ignore the unwavering glare from Principal Turner, "are you asking me to dance, Dean Winchester?"

"I guess I am," Dean laced his fingers with Cas', pulling him closer with his free hand, "might as well go out with a bang," he swayed slowly with Cas to the music. 

"What do you mean by that?" Cas asked, draping his arms behind Dean's neck, letting Dean lead the dance. Everything around the two of them was a blur. Nothing else mattered. They were together, and nothing could have made either of them happier than simply being close to one another.

"I'm dropping out," Dean pressed his forehead to Cas', "I found a place in California."

"You're leaving me?" Cas tensed up.

"Actually...I was hoping you'd come with me," Dean smiled, "after you graduate."

Before Cas could respond, the music was cut, bringing both of them back to reality. Principal Turner, who looked livid, was walking toward them, pointing to the door, "you two are out of here. I'll see you in my office on Monday," he said angrily, ignoring all the heckling from the student body.

Dean let got of Cas and turned to his principal, "no," he said calmly."

"Excuse me?"

"I said no, sir," Dean reiterated, just as coolly as before.

"No?" Turner was bewildered.

Dean nodded, "I quit," he said simply, turning back to Cas, "let's get out of here, Cas."

Everything happened so quickly. Cas felt anger bubbling up inside, and before he could stop himself, he shot a glare at Principal Turner as Dean tugged him toward the exit.

"You got a problem, Mr Novak?" Turner folded his arms, challenging Cas.

"Wait a second, Dean," Cas walked back up to Turner, "I quit too."

"You're class valedictorian," Turner raised an eyebrow, "you can't just drop out."

"I'd rather be happy than smart any day," Cas turned and walked back over to Dean, "now I'm ready to go," he petulantly pressed a kiss to Dean's cheek.

You could hear a pin drop in the hall as Dean lead Cas out. They used the door in the back of the building, as to avoid the protest out front. When they were outside, Dean stopped, "Cas, you have to finish school."

"I can't go back there. If I'm reprimanded for being myself, I'll snap," Cas clenched his fists, "I'm so sick of having to hide who I am, Dean. I'm done."

"I know, Cas," Dean pulled Cas into a hug, rubbing his back, "I hear San Francisco has been a cool place since those hippies took over in '69."

"You want to go to San Francisco?" Cas asked, relaxing in the embrace, wrapping his own arms around Dean.

"Mhm," Dean kissed the top of Cas' head, "just you, me and my guitar."

"Is this what you were figuring out all week?" Cas looked up at Dean.

"My friend Benny has a pad with a guest room. He says we can stay there, rent-free, until we get settled," Dean smiled, "leave with me tonight."

Cas cocked his head to the side, "tonight? I thought you said I have to finish school."

Dean sighed and let go of Cas, "you should," he leaned against the building, "but you said no, so, come to California with me."

"How are you getting there?"

Dean shrugged, "hitch a ride."

"That's a good way to get murdered," Cas said, frowning, "Dean, let's think this through...graduation is less than two weeks away..."

"Cas, I'm not going back," Dean said in a final tone, loosening his tie, "I'm not going to pass...so why bother?"

"If you had just let me help-"

"I've been thinking about leaving school for a long time," Dean watched Cas, "you couldn't have changed my mind," he reached for Cas' hand, "I need to get away."

Cas saw the desperation in Dean's eyes. In a way, he understood where Dean was coming from. Cas sometimes fantasized about running away. Sure, his home life wasn't as dysfunctional as Dean's, but he lived such a sheltered life. He wanted adventure. His siblings were so over-protective, and, touching as that was, Cas was getting fed up. He was 18. He could make his own decisions now. 

"Dean, I'm going with you."


	14. Nothing Like A Stiff Scotch In The Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas is prepared to leave for California with Dean. But Dean has other plans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's getting down to the end of the story. I'm thinking one more chapter, and an epilogue. Thank you, thank you for sticking around until the end! You're kind comments and kudos and all that truly mean everything. <3

Cas sat across from Dean as a diner about a half mile from the prom venue. The only time they'd spoken since arriving was to order some fries and cokes. Dean picked at the fries, glancing up at Cas every now and again. After Cas had decided to leave school, Dean's mood changed. Cas couldn't figure it out, but he had a sneaking suspicion that Dean was pissed off.

"Dean," Cas finally said, breaking the awkward silence, "I..." his voice trailed off. Sure, he wanted to say something...but, what?

Dean looked up, twirling a fry in his fingers, "what is it?" he asked, his expression still unreadable.

Cas shrugged, "never mind," he took a sip of his coke, staring down at the countless fizzing bubbles rising up inside the cup, "I forgot what I was going to say..."

Dean sighed, "I know what you're thinking, Cas. I know you," he took a bite of the French fry he was fiddling with, "and I'm not saying I don't want you with me...but, Cas, man, you gotta graduate," he sounded almost desperate, "I don't want you to throw you future away...hell, you could even go to college-"

"I'm not going anywhere without you, Dean," Cas said stubbornly, poking at an ice cube in his glass with the straw.

"Cas, please," Dean leaned forward, "I want you to graduate. Promise me you're going to go back to school on Monday."

"No," Cas pulled out his wallet and dropped a few dollar bills on the table, "we're a team," he slid out of the booth and stood up, "if you're leaving, I'm coming with you and there's nothing you can do to stop me."

Dean followed Cas out of the diner, "there's like a week left, and then you're done. Dammit, Cas, would you freaking stop and listen to reason? You're being..."

"Stupid? Is that what you were going to say?" Cas stopped on the sidewalk outside of the diner, he didn't look at Dean, "You know, reason is saying to do what my heart tells me," he slowly turned to face Dean, "and my heart is telling me to stay by your side," he smiled shyly, "it might not be rational, but when is life ever rational?"

"I'm not going to win, am I?" Dean folded his arms, "It doesn't matter what I say. You're not going to listen."

"Sounds like someone I know," Cas mumbled, "you're such a hypocrite."

"Because I care about your future? Fine," Dean rolled his eyes and started walking in the direction of Cas' apartment.

"Dean, wait," Cas jogged to catch up with Dean, "wait up," he touched Dean's arm, but Dean shrugged it off and kept walking, "Dean, would you just stop for a minute?" he asked, louder than he meant to.

Dean stopped," _what?_ " he snapped, making Cas flinch, "well? I stopped."

"My future," Cas frowned, "you're worried about my future," it wasn't a question.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Dean asked, his expression softening.

Cas knitted his eyebrows together, cocking his head to the side as he spoke, "did you ever stop and think that the only future I want it one with you?"

Dean opened his mouth to argue, but closed it. He stared at Cas, unable to think of anything to say.

"Let's go home," Cas slipped his hand into Dean's, lacing their fingers together.

Nothing was said on the short walk back to the apartment. Cas was relieved to see that Anna had already left for work, so he would have some alone time with Dean. They needed to talk. It was unavoidable. Cas just prayed it wouldn't turn into a Christmas fiasco.

Inside, Dean walked down to Cas' bedroom, dropping his suit coat on the desk before sitting down on the bed. Cas stood at the doorway, watching Dean.

"Did you mean it?" Dean asked, locking eyes with Cas.

"What?" Cas cautiously sat down next to Dean, leaving several inches between them.

"What you said about your future," Dean didn't break eye contact, "did you mean it?"

Cas nodded slowly, looking down at his knees, "I don't think you understand how much you mean to me, Dean,"I think I'm in love with you...you're my top priority," Cas smiled weakly, "god, I sound so cliche," he added, chuckling to himself.

"You know, I think people were kidding when they said you slept at the hospital almost every night when I was out of commission," Dean nudged Cas, "you really didn't leave me side, did you?"

"Not if I could help it," Cas admitted sheepishly, "I was fond of that chair by the end."

Dean finally smiled, "you're ridiculous."

"Like you wouldn't have done the same for me," Cas retorted, smirking.

"Touche," Dean put his arm around Cas, pulling him closer, kissing his temple, "you know I love you, right?" he murmured against Cas' skin, pressing his lips to Cas' cheek, "I love you so much."

Cas closed his eyes, feeling Dean's lips trail along his jaw. Dean gently turned Cas' head, pressing their foreheads together, "I'm sorry I called you a hypocrite," Cas said, opening his eyes. He momentarily lost his train of thought when he met Dean's eyes.

"I'm sorry my dad ruined your senior prom," Dean cupped Cas' cheek in his hand, their lips almost touching.

"Who said it was a bad night?" Cas licked his lips in anticipation, waiting for Dean to make a move. 

"It's still early, I suppose," Dean said, barely brushing their lips together, "there's still time to make up for that bastard and his cronies."

Cas sighed, "it wasn't your fault. I'm trying to pretend it didn't happen, so stop bringing it up. It's such a mood killer," Cas scooted onto the bed and laid down on his back, "as far as I'm concerned, I had the best night ever. I got to publicly dance with my boyfriend at prom...and the prom king is kind of in my bed right now. Most people would definitely see that as a good thing," Cas grinned to himself, glancing at Dean.

"You're in a weird mood," Dean noted, laying on his side to face Cas, "it's like you're never phased by that shit storm earlier."

"For the first time ever, I stood up for myself. I guess I'm feeling a little cocky," Cas mused, "did you see Principal Turner's face when I stood up to him?"

"He was definitely shocked," Dean snorted, "no one expected the shy kid to speak up."

"I'm done being a pushover," Cas rolled on his side and reached for Dean's tie, tugging him closer, "I'm doing what I want from now on."

"Yeah?" Dean's eyebrows shot up, "well, what do you want to do then?"

"Um," Cas was suddenly shy. His eyes darted to Dean's lips, "I want to," he cleared his throat, "um, that is, if it's okay, I'd, um-"

Dean laughed and closed the distance, pressing his lips to Cas', "kiss me?" Dean murmured, deepening the kiss until Cas pulled away, "Cas?"

"I want to go to California with you," Cas said quietly.

"Cas..." Dean sat up, "don't throw away all of your hard work. Finish school. For me?"

"While you go to California alone?" Cas felt uneasy, "Not a chance. I'm going with you. I'll get my GED out there," he wasn't going to cave.

"What are you going to tell Anna and Gabe?" Dean raised an eyebrow, "They're going to be really pissed."

"I'm eighteen. They can't keep me here forever," Cas touched Dean's hand, "this is what I want," he laced their fingers together, "just this."

Dean laid back down, visibly defeated, and Cas curled up against his chest, running his fingers over the silky material of Dean's shirt. They laid together for a long time in the dimly lit bedroom; Dean had taken to absentmindedly carding his fingers through Cas' hair, humming softly, as Cas finally let his eyes close. 

When Cas opened his eyes, it was morning. He blinked a few times, adjusting to the brightness as he sat up, yawning and stretching like a cat. The apartment was silent and Dean was no longer in bed. Cas glanced at his alarm clock- it was only half past six. 

Cas climbed out of bed and changed out of his tuxedo, slipping on a pair of his pajama pants and a t-shirt before heading out into the parlor. No Dean. He checked both the kitchen and the bathroom; still no Dean. A pang of anxiety was rising up in his gut as he peeked into both Anna and Gabe's rooms, only to find them as empty as the rest of the flat. Cas was alone. 

After one more quick check of the apartment, Cas returned to his bedroom. A piece of paper on his desk caught his attention. He recognized Dean's handwriting immediately:

_Cas-_

_I'll be long gone by the time you get this, but I promise I'll see you soon. Graduate for me, okay? This is for the best. Just trust me._

_I love you so much._

_-D_

Cas stared blankly at the note for a long time, trying to process everything. Dean left without so much as a goodbye. Cas felt a mixture of anger and pain bubbling up inside of him. His eyes were beginning to blur with tears as he crumpled up the note, losing his temper, and tearing it to shreds. Piece of paper fluttered down to the floor as Cas stormed out of his room. He needed a stiff drink and he knew where Gabriel stashed his scotch. 

Several glasses of straight up scotch later, Cas was feeling fuzzy and decidedly less crappy. Hell, he was damn near cheerful with the delightful sensation of pure inebriation taking over. Even when Gabe swung the front door open, Cas didn't even bat an eyelash. He was done. With everything.

"Is that my scotch, bro?" Gabe asked coolly, looking at the bottle next to Cas, "sure looks like my scotch."

"That's because it is," Cas snickered, taking a sip from the bottle, "cheers," he hiccuped, feeling a little dizzy.

"What the fuck, man," Gabe snagged the bottle from Cas, "this was full!" he put the bottle down, "since when do you drink?" 

"Prom date jumped town, so I'm having scotch for breakfast," Cas finally looked at Gabe, his eyes lidded, "you...you should drink with me," he grinned at his older brother.

"The only thing I'm doing is putting your sloppy ass to bed and hunting Winchester down," Gabe grabbed Cas' arm, "get up."

Cas didn't budge, "since when am I the fun one?"

"It's eight in the morning and you're piss-drunk. That's not fun, it's sad," Gabe yanked at Cas' arm again, "it's time for bed."

"Fine," Cas sighed dramatically, getting up too-quickly. He stumbled forward and Gabe caught him before he hit the floor, "I'm good, I'm good," Cas held out his hands to regain his balance, a drunk smile still on his lips.

"Go to bed," Gabe said sternly, pointing to Cas' room, "don't make me call Anna at work."

"Jeez, Gabe, chill," Cas wavered before turning and stammering to his room. He flopped down on the bed and closed his eyes, starting to feel queasy. Maybe a liquid breakfast wasn't the best idea he'd ever made. He needed water, but there was no way he was walking all the way to the kitchen in this state, "Gabe," he whined, like he used to when he was sick as a kid.

"What?" Gabe appeared almost instantly, at the door, "you're not going to barf all over yourself, are you?"

"Can you get me some water?" Cas asked, mumbling into the pillow.

"What are you, five?" Gabe snorted.

" _Gaaaabe-_ "

"Fine, I'll get you some water, drunkie."

Cas smiled when he heard the kitchen tap turn on. Whining was the one sure-fire way to get Gabe to do anything; he hated seeing people being pathetic, and Cas used to use it to his advantage, as a child. He had Gabe wrapped around his finger, whether Gabe would admit it or not.

"Anything else, your majesty?" Gabe set the water down on Cas' night stand. 

"Peanut butter and jelly," Cas peeked up at Gabe, but everything looked all spinny so he covered his face again, groaning into the pillow.

"You're such a weirdo when you're drunk," Gabe ruffled Cas' hair, "get some sleep, little bro."

Cas listened to Gabe's footsteps leaving the room, "Gabe?"

"That's my name, don't wear it out."

"If Meg wanted to move, would you leave school to go with her?" Cas asked, reaching for his glass of water.

"Meg would kick my ass if I dropped out. She's such a nerd," Gabe chuckled, "but, what a freak in the bedroom," he leaned against the door frame and folded his arms, "why do you ask?"

"It's not important."

"It's about Dean, isn't it?" Gabe strolled over to Cas' desk chair, pulled it up next to the bed and sat down, "talk to me, Cas."

Cas shook his head, pulling his blanket up.

"You're drunk before noon, Cas, tell me what happened," Gabe frowned, "you said Dean left."

"He did," Cas sighed, wishing he had more scotch, "last night."

"Care to elaborate?"

"We got kicked out of prom, and Dean said he wanted to go to California," Cas slowly sat up, his head still swimming, "and I said I was going with him."

"You were just going to drop everything to elope with you man candy?" Gabe rolled his eyes, "You've been reading too much Shakespeare. How the hell were you even going to get to California?"

"I...don't know..."

"And what were you going to do once you got there? C'mon, Cas, for a smart little dude, you're really naive," Gabe stood up, "I'm not trying to be a dick...I'm just looking out for you."

"Well, my plan obviously didn't work, so drop it," Cas grabbed his water again and took a sip, "Dean's gone, so I might as well finish school. It's what he wanted anyway," Cas grimaced, "that's why he left without saying goodbye..."

"Because Novaks are infamously stubborn and you wouldn't have let him leave without you," Gabe offered, half-smiling, "that kid is crazy for you. He'll be back."

"Who knows when that'll be," Cas heard the apartment door open.

"Cas, are you here?" Anna called from the parlor.

" _Shit_ ," Cas and Gabe chorused.

"What do I do?" Cas felt like he was going to be sick.

"Hey, Cas-" Anna looked into Cas' room. Upon seeing Gabe and Cas, she folded her arms and raised an eyebrow, "you two look incredibly guilty."

Before Cas could give himself away, Gabe chimed in, "Cas had a rough night," he smirked, "we were just having a brotherly gab fest about boys and shopping." 

"Very funny, smart ass," Anna looked at Cas, "I heard about prom."

"What did you...um...hear?" Cas asked cautiously, trying not to slur his words.

"If you think for a second that I'm letting you drop out of school, you've got another thing coming," Anna scrunched her nose, "it smells like a bar room in this apartment," she narrowed her eyes at Cas, "Castiel James Novak, have you been _drinking_?"

Cas shook his head, unable to stop himself from laughing at how serious Anna looked, "What? No!"

Anna rounded on Gabe, "is he drunk?"

"Yes, ma'am. Absolutely trashed," Gabe said quickly, standing very still in front of Anna.

"I need to talk to Cas alone," was all Anna had to say for Gabe to go back to Meg's apartment.

"Dropping out of school a week before graduation, drinking...Cas, what's gotten into you?" Anna sat on Cas' bed, "where's Dean?" she asked, noticing Dean was nowhere to be seen. 

"Probably halfway to California," Cas muttered, pulling at a thread on his blanket, "he didn't even say goodbye."

"He really did it. I don't believe it," Anna looked surprised, "you wanted to go, didn't you?"

"After being kicked out of prom, running away sounded like a good idea," Cas glanced at Anna, "but Dean wanted me to graduate. So, he left without me."

Anna touched Cas' arm, "he did it because he cares."

"I know," Cas shrugged, "but abandoning your boyfriend the day after prom is still shitty." 

"He'll be back. You know he will," Anna got up and grabbed Cas' empty water glass, "I've never seen someone so in love with another person. I'll give Dean a week, tops, before he's back."

"I sure hope you're right."

\---

" _Cas, please tell me Dean's with you,_ " Sam's voice was frantic over the phone. 

"No. He didn't say goodbye to you either?" Cas asked, still bitter.

" _I think Dean stole our dad's pickup truck_ ," Sam said quietly.

Cas laughed without meaning to, "he did?" he wasn't even mad; on the contrary, he kind of impressed.

" _Cas, it's not funny,_ " Sam whispered, " _if my dad notices, and he will, Dean's in deep shit._ "

"He kept the plates to his Impala. Maybe he switched out the plates on your dad's truck," Cas suggested, "California is a long drive, and Dean doesn't want to be followed," ge twirled the phone cord around his finger.

Sam sighed, " _this is the stupidest thing he's ever done_."

"Given the circumstances, I don't blame him for wanting to get away," Cas said darkly, "prom was hard on both of us."

" _I heard_ ," Sam was quiet for a moment, " _are you okay, Cas? I know my dad can be a real shithead..._ "

"I'll be fine," Cas was pacing his kitchen as he held the phone to his ear, "that is, once I know Dean's alright."

" _If I hear from him, I'll let you know_ ," Sam shuffled something, " _my dad's up, I gotta go_ ," he hung up without another word.

Cas hung the phone up and pinched the bridge of his nose. He wasn't drunk anymore, and his headache was making him wish he could sneak more of Gabe's scotch, "dammit, Dean," he grumbled as his mind wandered to the possibility of Dean stealing John's truck.

"I see you're enjoying your hangover," Gabe said conversationally, strolling into the kitchen, "any news on Dean-o?"

"Um..." Cas watched Gabe grab an apple, "Sam thinks Dean stole their father's truck," he said, as Gabe took a bite of the apple.

Gabe spit everywhere, coughing out a laugh, "no shit, did he really?" he sputtered, looking almost impressed.

Cas nodded, "John doesn't know the truck is missing yet."

"I'd pay to see that fuck's face when he realizes it's missing," Gabe mused, "I may not be your boy toy's biggest fan, but his dad is a great big bag of dicks. You know, I think I'm finally starting to appreciate Dean," he punched Cas playfully, grinning, "who knows, maybe one day I'll even approve of the guy."

"Thank you, Gabriel," Cas smiled at his oldest brother.

"I said maybe," Gabe took another bite of apple and winked at Cas before leaving him alone in the kitchen again.

Cas needed to find Dean before John did, or, at least talk to him. He wracked his brain for clues about where Dean could be; Dean had mentioned a friend in California, but Cas wouldn't remember the guy's name. Automatically, he picked up the phone and dialed Jo, since she knew Dean almost as well as Sam did.

" _Hello?_ " Ellen answered on the third ring.

"Oh, hello, Ms Harvelle. This is Cas, is Jo around?" Cas asked in his usual polite manner.

" _Cas? I heard what happened at prom from Bobby and I want you to know that we're on you're side, kid. Linda Tran too,_ " Ellen sounded angry, " _don't let anyone tell you it's wrong to love someone._ "

"Thank you," Cas smiled, "I appreciate that."

" _Anytime. I'll get Joanna_ ," Ellen yelled for Jo on the other end and a minute later, the phone rustled.

" _Cas?_ " Jo's tone was nervous, " _Is everything okay?_ "

"Dean stole John's truck last night, to go to California," Cas skipped the details, "does Dean have a friend out there?"

" _Hold up_ ," Jo paused, " _Dean stole John's truck?_ " she snickered, " _genius._ "

"Jo, if John finds Dean, it's not going to be pretty," Cas explained, "I need to figure out where he's staying so I can give him a head's up."

" _If he's going to San Francisco, one of his old friends lives out there. Benny LaFitte_ ," Jo covered the speaker and yelled something to her mom, " _yeah, I guess Benny lives just off of Ashbury._ "

"I bet that's where he went," Cas felt a little relieved, "do you have Benny's number?"

" _I've actually been meaning to give him a call. He hasn't been out this way in over a year. I'll have him tell Dean what's up_ ," Jo volunteered, " _I'll keep you posted, okay?_ "

"Thanks, Jo," Cas hung up the phone and exhaled slowly, feeling slightly better than he did ten minutes prior. He just had to keep telling himself that everything was fine. He was fine. Dean was fine.

**Everything was _fine._ **


	15. Going Out With A Bang

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Dean gone, and graduation rapidly approaching, Cas becomes a bit of an introvert. He doesn't want to make his valedictorian speech, but decides it would be a great way to get back at Principal Turner for prom. What he doesn't expect is the surprise that he gets at the graduation ceremony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last full chapter. Just a quick epilogue after this. 
> 
> Thank you so much for all the support. It means a lot!

It was Friday afternoon. The last day of Cas' life in high school. By this time tomorrow he'd have his diploma. By all rights he should have been overjoyed, but he was growing increasingly more depressed each day he didn't hear word about Dean's whereabouts. It had been about a week since Dean took off, and the only clue they had was John's abandoned truck that was found in the Nevada desert two days prior.

Cas tapped his pen on his desk, ignoring his classmates' chatter. It was the last class of the year, and Ms Harvelle was about as motivated as the seniors; she was nose-deep in a book, unconcerned about the general chaos of the classroom. Glancing up at the clock, Cas sighed. Seven more minutes.

"Hey bro," Gabe slid into the desk in front of Cas, "cheer up, will you? We're almost free," he looked down at Cas' notebook. Dean's name was scribbled down no less than a dozen times, "forget Dean for now. You're top of the class. Freaking celebrate, man."

"I don't feel like it," Cas closed his notebook and stuffed it in his backpack, "I just want to get tomorrow over with."

Gabe raised an eyebrow, "did you write your speech?"

"I wrote one," Cas said cryptically. He definitely wrote a speech, but it wasn't an average graduation spiel. He intended to go out with a bang.

"Mysterious," Gabe smirked, "I'm intrigued. And chance I can get a sneak peek at home?"

"You and the rest of the school will hear it tomorrow," Cas looked at the clock. Two minutes.

"Bummer, man. I don't want to wait," Gabe chuckled, "so, anyway, there's a rager at Garth's place tonight. You coming?"

"I'm staying in, just in case Dean calls or something," Cas said, his attention still on the clock, "you have fun though."

"You're killing the mood, Cas. You can't sit home all night," Gabe was being strangely persistent, and it made Cas suspicious.

"Really, I'm fine just staying in," Cas stood up at the bell rang, "do you need a life? Anna's picking me up."

"Negatory. My lady just got her chopper back. We're going cruising before the party," Gabe grinned, "You really should make an appearance. Don't play up the nerdy valedictorian thing."

"I'll think about it," Cas lied, having no intention of leaving the apartment tonight, as he walked in the opposite direction of Gabe. He had cleaned his locker during lunch block, as to avoid lingering after the bell. 

Anna was parked in front of the school, and Cas ducked into the passenger seat, avoiding the excitement of his peers on the way out. He mumbled a greeting as he tossed his bag into the back seat.

"It's killing me to see you this miserable, Cas," Anna pulled out into the after-school traffic, heading toward the apartment, "Dean said he'd come back."

"He hasn't called or anything, Anna. I'm really not holding out too much hope," Cas said dully, looking out the car window, "he's long gone."

"If you truly believe that, then move on," Anna said bluntly, "sorry, that sounds insensitive, but, Cas, you haven't left the apartment for anything but school...you've been avoiding your friends," Anna turned down their street, "you need to stop beating yourself up. It's not healthy."

"Do you think I should move on?" Cas asked, finally looking at Anna.

"I think Dean meant it when he said he'd see you soon," Anna pulled up in front of their building, parking the car, "so, you should stop pouting and celebrate graduating," she turned the car off, "I know Dean wants you to be happy."

"I'll be happy when Dean comes home," Cas got out of the car and went inside, shutting himself in his room immediately. He just wanted to be alone with his thoughts, although most of his internal thoughts were curious as to why Gabe has been so insistent about him going to the party. Not curious enough to actually go to the party, but his interest was definitely piqued. 

Cas flopped down onto his bed and hugged a pillow to his chest. His high school career was over. Now he could run away with Dean and finally be happy. He hoped Anna was right about Dean; he couldn't handle not knowing how Dean was doing. He was a nervous wreck.

About two hours after Cas shut himself up in his room, he heard the phone ring, followed by Anna answering it. He closed his eyes, letting his mind wander to-

_"Cas! Phone!"_

Cas begrudgingly sat up and dragged himself out of bed. The only two people who would be calling were Sam or Jo, because Cas had been avoiding them all day and he was almost positive they noticed. Anna handed the phone to Cas and went back to her room, "hello?" he held the receiver to his ear.

_"Cas?"_ A familiar voice caught Cas off guard. He stood in the middle of the kitchen, dumbfounded, _"Cas, are you there?"_ the voice asked after Cas didn't answer.

"Yeah," Cas walked over to the wall and leaned against it, feeling a lump rising up in his throat, "I'm here."

_"It's good to hear your voice."_

"Yours too, Dean," Cas slid down the wall and sat on the floor, his voice was hoarse from trying to hold back the impending sobs waiting for the right moment to escape. It wasn't until he heard Dean's voice that he realized how much he really missed him.

_"Look...I'm sorry I-"_

"I understand why you did," Cas interjected, "don't apologize. Just come home."

_"I promised I'd come back for you,"_ Dean said quietly, _"unless you don't want to come to California."_

"When do you want me packed?"

Dean laughed, _"I'll be back that way next week. I'll keep you posted. I'm still saving up for the gas I'll need,"_ he paused, _"And before you ask, no, I'm not stupid enough to bring my dad's truck back. I ditched that piece of shit in the desert."_

"Next week?" Cas sighed, "You're not coming to graduation?"

_"I'm in San Francisco. I wish I could make it,"_ Dean rustled something on his end, _"we'll celebrate when I get there."_

"Dean?"

_"What is it, Cas?"_

"Why did you take so long to call?" Cas asked, watching a beetle make it's way across the tiled floor, "I thought something happened...I was really worried."

_"If I would have called earlier, I would have had to tell you where I was and I wanted you to graduate,"_ Dean sighed, _"I didn't mean to make you nervous."_

"Just don't pull a stunt like this ever again."

_"You're mad, and I don't blame you. I wasn't myself after prom,"_ Dean sounded frustrated, _"I was just trying to do what was best for both of us..."_

"But?"

_"But I fucked up...I should be there with you, Cas. After everything you went through for me,"_ Dean groaned, _"god, I'm so fucking selfish..."_

"You aren't selfish for wanting me to graduate. I know you were doing what was right," Cas wished he could wrap his arms around Dean and tell him it was okay, "just focus on getting here."

Dean was silent for a while. Cas didn't speak either; they sat, listening to each other breathe. After a few minutes, Dean finally spoke, _"You know I love you, right?"_

"Stop asking stupid questions," Cas murmured, "It makes me miss you even more."

_"I promise I'll be with you soon,"_ Dean whispered, _"I promise I'll be there soon."_

"If you leave right now, you can be here by two in the morning..." Cas suggested.

_"Stop tempting me. I have to work a few hours in Benny's shop, so I'm going to have to let you go,"_ Dean sounded apologetic. Cas sighed in response, _"don't be like that, Cas...I'll call you later, okay?"_

"Don't forget the time difference," Cas stood up, "you're an hour off."

_"And don't forget that I love you,"_ Dean rebutted; Cas could practically hear Dean's smirk.

Cas smiled to himself, "don't you forget either, okay?"

_"Never again,"_ Dean promised, _"I really have to go now-"_

"Wait," Cas said suddenly, "I love you too."

_"Bye, Cas,"_ Dean said, a smile evident in his voice.

"See you soon."

\---

**Graduation**

Cas woke up before his alarm on the morning of graduation. It was sunny, without a cloud to be seen. Yawning, Cas made his way to the kitchen, where Anna was making a pot of coffee. She smiled when he took a seat at the table. 

"You're up early," Anna turned the coffee pot on and joined Cas.

"I couldn't sleep," Cas mumbled, still groggy from his lack of sleep, "Dean called me a second time last night."

Anna raised an eyebrow, "is that why the phone rang so late?"

"Yeah," Cas rolled his eyes, "he was pretty drunk."

"You seem surprised," Anna giggled.

"It wasn't Dean drinking that surprised me," Cas frowned, "I could have sworn I heard Gabe yelling in the background..."

"That's...odd," Anna got up and busied herself pouring coffee for her and Cas.

"Do you know something I don't, Anna?" Cas watched Anna spill some coffee as he asked the question.

"Damn," Anna grabbed a towel, "I don't know what you're talking about. Dean's in California, right?" she mopped up the mess before looking at Cas, "Gabe was at Garth's house last night."

"I know...but something isn't right," Cas wasn't going to let up, "and you're acting weird."

"I just woke up, Cas."

"What is Dean planning?" Cas asked, staring at his sister.

Anna gave a mug to Cas, "I don't know."

"Anna."

"Stop it," Anna said firmly, "I'm not spilling the beans, so you can stop asking."

\---

By the time Cas got to the school, he was visibly stressed over what Dean could possibly have planned. He thought Dean was in California. Dean told Cas he was in California. He groaned, pinching his nose in frustration...was Dean really in California?

"You okay, Cas?" Jo's voice brought Cas back to the present.

"Fine," Cas lied, forcing a smile, "pre-speech nerves."

"You'll do fine," Jo fixed Cas' tie, "rumor has it, you wrote one hell of a speech."

"We'll see about that," Cas mumbled, "this speech isn't what I was told to write. But, it's not like they can reprimand me after today."

"Ah. So, still pissed at Principal Turner then," Jo grinned, "give 'em hell. You have the whole school backing you up."

"Not if Dean would just show up, I'd be golden," Cas sighed, "I think he's planning something-"

"Line up, guys. Let's get this show on the road," Bobby hollered over the chatter, "one you're out there, I want silence. Got it?"

The seniors crowded into two lines and Gabe stood behind Cas, grabbing his shoulders, "Cassy, do I smell like beer?" he whispered, "You missed one hell of a party, bro!"

"Apparently," Cas shrugged his brother off, "I heard Dean was there," he said coyly, hoping that Gabriel, in his drunken state, would let any secrets, involving Dean, slip out.

"Nice try," Gabe snorted, "my lips are sealed, little brother."

Before Cas could argue, the ceremony begun. Once they were seated, Cas zoned out. His speech wasn't until the very end, after everyone had their diplomas. He had no interest in anything Principal Turner had to say, Even when he got his diploma, he just went through the motions: handshake, picture and a half-assed thank you.

Cas returned to his seat and waited for his remaining classmates to get their diplomas before Principal Turner started Cas' introduction.

"We're going to end the ceremony with your class valedictorian," Principal Turner looked in Cas' direction, "Castiel Novak. One of the hardest working students I've seen in years. If you could all join me in welcoming Mr Novak to the stage."

Cas sighed and took his time walking through the applause to join Turner on stage. When he was left alone at the podium, the cheers and clapping subsided. He fished his speech out of his pocked and looked out over the crowd. 

Cas cleared his throat and tapped the microphone, "hello," he muttered, "I'm Castiel Novak, and I have to apologize because if I had it my way, I wouldn't be up here right now," he chuckled nervously, "but, it's traditional for the class valedictorian to make a speech for the graduating seniors, so here it goes," Cas looked down at his speech, then back to his classmates, suddenly at a loss for words. He was frozen, until he caught a glimpse of Jo giving him a thumbs up.

Finally Cas smiled, "I feel almost undeserving to be up here in front of you all right now. This was my first-last year at Heaven Hills High, and if I've learned one thing, it's that the student body is like an extended family," Cas paused, "even as the new guys, I was accepted without question and I can't thank those of you, who truly helped make this year unforgettable, enough."

Cas' smiled faded a little, "but, having said that, I'd like to take this opportunity to bring up recent events that have taught me an important lesson. One I'd like to share with all of you here today."

There was low chatter in the audience. Cas noticed Principal Turner, who was sitting in the front row, fold his arms. He looked unimpressed, perhaps even a little angry. It was the only motivation Cas needed to continue.

"Most of you were at prom, and don't need me to elaborate," Cas was focused on Turner, who shifted nervously in his seat, "but, for those of you unaware, the abridged version is that I was asked to leave, for dancing with my date, due to an angry mob outside," Cas closed his eyes for a moment, "I was told to hide who I was because of a few people, and I would be lying if I said that was the first time something like this had happened this past year."

"I hid who I was for months, out of fear," Cas shook his head sadly, "imagine being afraid to be yourself."

Principal Turner was wide-eyed at this point, staring at Cas in disbelief.

"I think the fear will always be there. A constant thought in the back of my mind, telling me that my lifestyle is immoral," Cas laughed without humor, but smiled again, "I'm rambling...but the point of my story is: don't let anyone tell you that being who you are is wrong, because eventually you'll start believing it."

The audience was silent, listening intently to everything Cas said. He never expected people to listen so he kept going, "before our festivities begin, I have one more thing to say," Cas inhaled slowly, looking down at his speech again, "since, after today, I will never set foot into this school again, I," Cas felt his heart racing, "I'm proud of who I am, and even my good friend, Principal Turner, can't change that. My name is Castiel James Novak and I like men," more chatter in the audience started up, "I love my boyfriend and I'm not ashamed to admit it anymore," he was grinning at this point, "So, to the class of 1976, I wish each and every one of you the best of luck with whatever you do in the future. Be yourself and the sky is the limit. Congratulations, seniors. We did it!"

The moment he finished the speech, Cas thought he heard someone yelling his name. He squinted to see into the crowd of parents in the back of the gym, where the voice was coming from.

"Cas!" the was was familiar and Cas saw waving arms, pushing through the crowd of people in the bleachers.

"D-Dean?" Cas' voice echoed over the speakers as he spotted Dean, making his way to the stage, "Dean!" Cas yelled, forgetting to use the stage stairs; he jumped down and ran as fast as he could, meeting Dean in the center of the gym.

Dean enveloped Cas in his arms and the seniors burst into applause; a standing ovation, "Oh, Cas," he clung to Cas.

"You! You're here," Cas returned the hug, feeling tears in his eyes, "I can't believe it," his voice hitched. He didn't want to cry in front of a couple hundred cheering teenagers and their families, but he was overcome with joy.

"I told you I'd see you soon," Dean loosened his vice-grip on Cas, "god, I missed you," he pulled Cas close again, crushing their lips together, smiling into the kiss when the applause from their peers grew louder.

Graduation caps were now flying in a flurry of cardboard and tassels all around then, but Cas hardly noticed. He let Dean kiss him and he returned it with passion he didn't think possible until now. When they finally broke away from one another, their cheeks were flushed. Complete celebratory chaos had broken out, and not even Principal Turner could stop it.

Amidst the excited students, flashes from cameras and general clusterfuck of everything happening, Cas felt a twinge of nervousness. Everything had happened so fast and he was still processing the speech, Dean and the kiss in front of no less than three hundred people. He went through the motions of socializing, but in all honesty, he was perfectly content just holding Dean's hand. 

"Damn, Cassy," Gabe clapped Cas on the shoulder, "that was one hell of a speech," he looked at Dean, "how are you feeling today, Winchester? I've never seen anyone take down a case of been like that."

"I knew I heard Gabe on the phone," Cas frowned at Dean, "How long have you been back?"

"Please don't be mad, Cas-"

"What a show!" Jo lunged at Cas and Dean, hugging them, "I didn't expect it to work out so well," she was beaming, "Dean was so nervous."

"Am I the only one who had no idea about any of this?" Cas complained, dropping Dean's hand. 

"That was the plan," Dean nudged Cas, "I wanted to surprise you," he chuckled, "and it worked perfectly." 

"What was in on this?" Cas asked, folding his arms.

"Uh," Dean bit his lip.

"Me, Sam, Anna, Gabe and just about everyone who was at Garth's lace last night," Jo chimed in, "you don't really think that pause after your speech just happened, did you?" she winked at Cas, "all part of Dean's master plan."

Cas looked at Dean, trying not to smile, but failed miserably, "you planned all of this?"

Dean nodded, "after I left, I regretted it and wanted to make it up to you," he laced his fingers with Cas', "I still owe you big time for leaving...but I have an idea."

"That's cryptic and unnerving," Cas raised an eyebrow.

"Perfect," Dean flashed his characteristic wolfish grin, "I love surprising you."

\---

It didn't take long for the gymnasium to clear out. Seniors and their families headed off for post-graduation festivities, leaving a few straggled sitting on the front steps of the school. The stragglers being Cas, Dean, Jo, Adam, Mike and Sam who had just shown up, with Jess.

"I can't believe we're done," Adam mused, catching the football Mike lobbed at him, "shit, man! Watch it."

"If you're going to play ball at Kent State, you have to stay sharp, Milligan," Mike smirked, taking a seat next to Adam, "so, what's your plan, Winchester?"

"California," Dean put his arm around Cas, "I got a job at Benny Lafitte's auto shop," he grinned, "and he's letting me and Cas crash at his pad until we get sorted."

"Sounds cool, man," Mike took the football from Adam, "you better keep in touch."

"Yeah, Dean, don't you can Cas become introverts out there," Jo stood up, "I expect weekly phone calls."

"Yes, mom," Dean rolled his eyes.

"I won't hesitate to drive out there if I have to," Jo nudged Adam with her foot, "are you two coming to the fiesta at Bobby's place?"

"Yeah," Adam got up and Mike followed his lead, "what about you guys?" he asked Dean, Cas, Sam and Jess.

"Not us," Sam grabbed Jess' hand, "I'm taking Jess to dinner while she's here."

"Lame," Mike quipped, "Dean?"

"I'll pass," Dean looked at Cas, "lots to do."

"You're turning down a party?" Cas cocked his head to the side.

"You hate parties," Dean shrugged, "besides, there's way better stuff to do than party."

"You losers have fun," Adam chuckled, "I'll have a drink for you."

"Cheers," Dean waved at the trio as they left, before standing up, "are you two heading out too?"

"Our reservation is in an hour," Sam said, glancing at his watch, "but we'll swing by Cas' place before I drive Jess home, if that's cool."

"Of course," Cas nodded, "It's just me and Dean tonight. Anna has work and I'm sure Gabe will be out with Meg all night."

"We'll see you later then," Sam hugged Dean, "I should have to tell you to behave, but I'm going to anyway."

"I always behave, Sammy," Dean laughed, punching Sam in the arm, "you'd better behave too. Jess is a lady."

"I'll make sure he's a good boy," Jess grinned at Dean, "but, I won't make any promises for myself."

"What a gal," Dean snorted, "looks like you guys might not make it to Cas'," he waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"I wouldn't count on it," Jess winked at Sam, "I haven't seen my boy in over a month."

"Let's not go into details," Sam kissed Jess, "Dean's a perv."

"I prefer the term 'enabler'," Dean reached into his pocket and tossed a condom to Sam, "you crazy kids have fun." 

After Sam and Jess left, Dean turned to Cas, "hi," he smiled, "alone at last," he sat down.

"Finally," Cas scooted closer to Dean, "so...what's the plan?"

"Oh, I don't know," Dean grabbed Cas' hand, "I was thinking we could blow this popsicle stand and leave tonight."

"Tonight?" Cas repeated, "We could leave tonight," he rested his head on Dean's shoulder, "run away and never come back."

"Just you and me against the world," Dean kissed the top of Cas' head, "happily ever after, forever."

"Just you and me, forever," Cas sighed happily, "I like the sound of that."


	16. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Dean are preparing for a new chapter in their life; leaving Heaven Hills High behind and starting a new life in San Francisco.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end, my friends. The end of my first-ever AU. Beautiful. Thanks for coming along for the ride!

**Later That Night**

"I can't believe you're driving a van," Cas laughed, walking around the blue and white, 1968 Volkswagen Bus. A legitimate hippie mobile, down to the 'Drop Acid, Not Bombs' bumper sticker, "quite the transportation."

"You haven't seen the best part," Dean opened the side door, "matching shag carpet and a freaking bed!"

"A shag wagon," Cas looked inside, "this is actually really cool."

"I knew you'd love it," Dean grabbed one of Cas' suitcases and got into the van "I got this Beatles poster for you," he pointed to a small poster on the roof, "there's tons of cool shit in here." 

"I see that," Cas handed another suitcase to Dean, "you could live out of this thing." 

"You mean we could," Dean grinned, taking Cas' last bag, "is this everything?"

"For now," Cas climbed into the back of the van with Dean, "Anna's putting the rest of my things into storage until I need them," he sat on the bed.

"So, we're really doing this then?" Dean asked, beaming, "We're really moving away together."

"We really are," Cas moved over so Dean could sit, "nothing is going to stop us from being happy now."

Dean sat down and kissed Cas' cheek, "nothing but smooth sailing ahead. Just me, you and the open road."

"What about when we get to California, Dean?"

Dean was thoughtful for a moment, before locking eyes with Cas, a smile playing his lips, "well, that's when the adventure really starts."

Cas nodded, grinning at Dean, "I think I'm ready for a new adventure."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This may be the end of "Fast Times at Heaven Hills High" but if you liked this...Be sure to read parts 2 and 3.


	17. Chapter 17

Hi-hello, reader!

If you're reading this page, chances are you just read this entire fic.

First of all, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING MY SILLY LITTLE FAN FIC! :)

Secondly, if you liked this, be sure to check out PART 2, which is complete, "Faster Times In San Francisco" ((http://archiveofourown.org/works/1779334/chapters/3810748))

Much love to all of you!  
-Nikki Noir


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